How have the men in your life been influential in shaping you into who you are?

[PixieBoy]

My father is really awesome. He may not be incredibly manly, since he doesn't drive, hates having to build stuff and is a vegetarian, but he is a great man. He's very kind, honest, smart and has been the sane one when mother's illness has been worse. He's a video game programmer and really nerdy, and he pretty much raised me on Star Wars, Dexter's Lab and Red Dwarf. He encouraged my tomboy-ness when I was a kid, it was my mother who wanted my hair to be long and my clothes to be girlish and pretty. I wanted stuff that you could run in, climb in trees in, and crash with bikes in.
Father also gave me this advice to pick up/impress guys: Guys like it when a girl doesn't wear makeup or shave her legs. They also like it when girls wear guys' underwear.
Pretty strange advice, huh?

[Squirrel698]

Yep unfortunately. 

Still trying to get over it and God willing with much therapy I will be able too.

[Carson]

My dad is an amazing man who I strive to be like every day. Since I was little we did science experiments together, and painted. I had a chemistry lab in the dining room that we would play in every day when he came home from work. He taught me how to do algebra when I was 5. He used to take me to work with him when he went out on plumbing jobs for his dad. He taught me how to play football and wrestle and how to be strong for the women in my life(especially my little sister) and now he teaches me about machines. He isn't very manly and not much bigger than I am but we do a lot together. I just learned how to use a chain saw yesterday, learned how to change the oil for farm equipment. He completely gutted my bathroom and re-did it together last year. That was at the very beginning of my transition and he was walking on eggshells and didn't put up the one light that came with the set we got because it was too girly haha.

I have always been closer to my dad's step dad (his real father being a total ass) we watch old movies together and sit on the couch playing video games while my grandmom yells at us, he taught me how to golf when I was little. 

[tekla]

Just because my opinion is just that:  What real guys get from their father is a work ethic, and all the guys (and the girls too) you work with are going to see that in about five minutes.

[Alun C]

The men in my life --- Oh. There were plenty.

Family: I never really knew my dad -- He visited once every blue moon and a half. The men my mother dated- "Step-Fathers" - were really slime bags. Abusive jerk-offs who wouldn't know a good woman if she was standing in shop window 75% off! >:I *not that that made alot of good sense*

Friends: Most of my guy friends are really dorky and good natured. BOY-Friends *as in relationship wise* All of my dating history is summed up when I say : You know there's something wrong when a guy says "I love you" and you feel nothing. Even when it wasn't true, most girls *or the ones I've known* would be all giddy and excited and such. I was not. I felt bad for em' y'know?

So overall -- I've had PLENTY of men in my life --- They've made me realize that I WANT and AM, a better man than any of them could be. Basically; I'm the man they wish they could be.

*shrug*


<3 Alun

[insanitylives]

Just because my opinion is just that:  What real guys get from their father is a work ethic, and all the guys (and the girls too) you work with are going to see that in about five minutes.

that's not to say if you want to be better than the people you were raised around you can't be

[Jam]

My dad - taught me basic motor skills (how to catch, ride a bike etc). He got me into sports, cars, action movies and encouraged me not to like girly things. He took me to football matches and played video games with me. He taught me how to wash a car properly, lift weights and assemble things. He also let me help with DIY and taught me to play pool. We used to play fight so i guess he toughened me up too.

Grandad - Let me help him garden, gave me his sense of humour, got me into Johnny Cash. Im also quite old fashioned in a lot of ways which i think i got from him.

Those are the two with the most influence

[Matt Chase]

My father was a bodybuilder in college, is majorly masculine but also fairly sensitive - hopelessly in love with my mother, and lately very open about his emotions. He's always supported my in my choices and though i haven't come out to anybody yet, he will probably support me (though it may take some time). He took me to sporting events, watched funny movies with me. Of course he disciplined me when i was a kid but what father doesn't? Above all he unconditionally loves me.
My uncles and grandfather have always been present, only one has left the family due to divorce.
My whole life all of my friends have been male. I've only ever had one close female friend.
I have no lack of male influences, and no lack of female ones, with my mother being a strong, intelligent woman and my sister having helped me through of the hardest times of my life...
So i don't know what that chick is talking about.

[KHOL]

this is an interesting post to learn more about others

father – well my dad is kinda... rough? for lack of better word to describe him, he has taught me how to be independent and strong, he also made me play lots of sports, he always invites me to the house on the field to help him build it up or work, he takes me to work-out with him too, he also makes a lot of jokes to things that are too much feminine and i laugh with him too, he would teach me how to heal my own wounds and dont cry when it happens, he is a doctor.

brother - not one of the perfect older brothers, he used to beat me up when i was little but we also play-fought a lot too, he introduced me to videogames and some sports, he doesnt knows that im ftm yet but we always joke about who does the manliest things.

friends – at the moment, i have 3 guy friends and 1 female friend, they are a pretty good group, we are all friends each other, im still young and i havent told them i am a transguy, ive know them since third grade, we all play videogames and play-fight sometimes, we enjoy climbing trees and such, there is one of the guys that i would say that is the manliest of them haha we talk about sex sometimes and i find that okay so i can learn about what does he feels ect.

cousins –  im only good friends with one, we would watch dirty stuff on internet and talk about that oh god, good times, we would run to forests, do a lot of sports, play-fight, talk about women and such things.

im just coming out so i  dont have anything to say about strangers yet

[Tad]

Just because my opinion is just that:  What real guys get from their father is a work ethic, and all the guys (and the girls too) you work with are going to see that in about five minutes.

Not to disagree... but I find it intersting that you would link work ethic to the male role model.. I'd say that in general, females that I know have better work ethics then their male counterparts.. It's not something I would link to a gender at all.. however.. intersting idea/opinion!




Great thread guys.. It's interesting to see what role models have contributed to you.

[LeeIam]

In my childhood years I was rasied by both my mother and step father. Once I turned 16 I lived with my step father. Plus my grandparents and two uncles. My younger brother has always stood by me with me and my friends are all male. My main influence was my step dad. He's my greatest role model and he taught me all about life and how to live to my potential. My uncles and grandfathers were all influences too and in a mostly male household, it's hard to imagine lack of male influence to be the cause of my male identity.   

[Arch]

My dad was great until I was halfway through my teens. He always provided for the family. He got involved in the youth groups I was in, and he still does volunteer work now--for the Republican party, I'm afraid. But he volunteers for what he believes in, and that's the ethic I learned from him while I was growing up.

I am proud of his Navy career and his service in Vietnam. As a Navy brat, I learned what it was like to belong to a tribe; I needed that. I'm also glad that his career enabled us to travel all around the world and live outside the U.S.

Unlike my mother, he never seemed fazed by my tomboyishness, and (unlike my mother) he wasn't a religious fanatic when I last saw him. So I guess I still hope that if I ever have a chance at a relationship with him again, he might accept me.

Of course, there are some less savory aspects of him. Like, he always let my mother push him around. And he was a functional alcoholic. He seems to have gotten worse after I left home--apparently, my mother made life hell for him--so I didn't even see the worst of it. I don't know if he still drinks.

Worst of all, when push came to shove, he backed her against me, so I left home as soon as I had all of my ducks in a row. I keep thinking that if I could just get him away from her, he would be fine and we could have a real relationship. But that's not about to happen anytime soon. She's likely to outlive him by a good margin.