One of those days.

[Karlee]

Today has been one of those days. Just been around the house, chilling out....confused about who I am. It's been on my mind all day, but strangely enough, I hadn't thought about my gender issues for a long while until today. It differs from day to day. For instance, yesterday I was happy to be myself as a male, but today, I hated my body, my clothing...everything. This is what tells me that there is indeed a problem. If I was truely meant to be a guy, I wouldn't question my gender whatsoever.

I've already planned out my day for tomorrow. I don't start uni till late, and I will be home alone, so it's time for Karlee (my female self) to play. I'm seriously contemplating showing off myself in public (perhaps in secluded areas or from the comfort of my car). Ahh...the thought brings butterflies to my stomach.

I usually find myself to be quite happy and optimistic from day to day. I see the good elements in bad things, but today was different. I suppose it was indeed one of those days. Maybe it's a sign? To take action. To do some self discovery.

Thank you for listening to me vent my frustrations.
Take care all,
Dizzyy.

[Kreuzfidel]

*HUGS*  Maybe it is a sign.  Sometimes when you find yourself in that headspace, it may be a clue that you need to stimulate some part of yourself that's feeling neglected.  I hope you feel better.

[Karlee]

Thank you, Kreuzfidel. It means a lot to me. I'm hoping that after tomorrow I will have a little more guidance as to whether I want proceed as a man or woman.

I'm waiting for some sort of an epiphany...one day, where I just say "Oh my gosh, now I know!" Only time will tell.
After all, tomorrow is another day.