Lonliness

[Cindy]

How do you deal with being alone?
I'm feeling sad but I want to move on.
Bad post but s**t happens and it did today
I'm 56yrs old full time dressing out from work, impossible at work. Very lonely
Cindy James

[Cindy]

And I obviously cannot spell1

[Wendy C]

Hugs Cindy, Hon you will never be alone here although that might seem like a small consolation at the moment. I have found my transition to be lonely at times even in a room full of people, but it has gotten better as I grow more confident in being myself. I find I do engage more people in conversation and learning how to smile has helped.

I also am fulltime with the exception of my workplace but that will be changing shortly. I think it will take some time to build new relationships just as it is taking time to transition. Hang in there Dear, things have no where to go but get better.

Wendy

[aisha]

i try to meditate on the oneness of all creation and enjoy the serenity which really does contain all  things, i suppose, its like that song we all come from the goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain blows into the ocean

[no_id]

Of course I can say; 'You're only as alone as you allow yourself to be'
I'm quite sure part of that is true, but when it comes down to it mind and heart and two very seperate things. You can tell yourself so many times that you're not alone and throw in all these logical theories, but that won't change the way you feel. Most that will probably do is make you shut down completely and I don't see no real point in not feeling lonely if I can't feel happy.

So what do I do? I kind of just figure that I'm not alone but that I feel alone. That I'm part of a very exclusive cool kids club with very little, scattered members (with a secret password too). Then I look at reasons and interests that have made me part of other clubs and I focus on those; whether it's playing the guitar, listening to some genre of music, working out, picking up a pencil - whatever of what I know that there's tons of people out there that do it for the same reason I do; not to feel not lonely but because it makes them happy, makes them feel strong or makes them feel intelligent... So really, instead of trying to eliminate a feeling I really just focus on gaining another feeling. That doesn't mean I won't feel lonely in the end, but I might just feel lonely and happy.

And, that's the best advice I got. Oh, but of course also a hug.

[Cindy]

Hi no_id


It is so long since I posted that deep despair. I do remember it. I was quite suicidal. I obviously didn't carry through. How have I changed? Goddess; I now openly live as Cindy, I'm still PT because of work, I'm going out with friends 3 times a week, both TG and none TG. 
Thank you for bouncing this one , nice to reflect.
Goddess I have grown

Thank You

Cindy

[no_id]

Hi no_id


It is so long since I posted that deep despair. I do remember it. I was quite suicidal. I obviously didn't carry through. How have I changed? Goddess; I now openly live as Cindy, I'm still PT because of work, I'm going out with friends 3 times a week, both TG and none TG.  .

Thank you for bouncing this one , nice to reflect.
Goddess I have grown

Thank You

Cindy

No problem at all Cindy. It seems to me that despite the fact you still feel lonley at times you've also gained a very important feeling to walk alongside it: strength.
The fact that you can post about it shows just that. No one expects you to act like that feeling is completely gone just because you're taking slow steps into a direction that sounds like one that makes you a lot happier, so no need to be tough on yourself either. The difference is that you now know how to deal with it. You know... So you can get through it each and every time it might just pop up its ugly face.

[Raven]

I've always felt alone it's hard at times even when just trying to be myself amongst my family and an majority of my friends. I have one friend who is a fellow f2m like me. But coming on this site reminds me that I'm not the only one going through these struggles and in turn it helps me not to feel so alone in this. You are never alone in this believe me. *hugs*

[Wendy C]

Goodness, it surprised me when this thread popped up on my E-mail. It has been a long time since I have visited Susan's.  At the time of this post I was two months shy of changing my name. I am now nine months post-op. Looking back, I think my fears played a big part in my own periods of loneliness. Once I let go of the past, took the leap forward as who I really was and embraced the future things started getting better.

My thoughts for those that are lonely and working through transition is to take that step forward, embrace yourself for who you are, and smile knowing that you have been given a gift and a second chance at life. When one door closes, another will be opened.

Hugs,
Wendy

[Lacey Lynne]

Cindy, if I wasn't so darned far away, I'd drive over and hug you myself, honey girl.

Yes, yes, yes ... oh, YES!  Know EXACTLY how you feel.  I'm there right now myself.  Know what, when it hurts the most is at a very public but decent place like the local mall.  You see SOOO many couples, generally younger, but really of all ages.  Most of them appear happy ... hugging ... lovey-dovey ... you know what I mean.  Bummer, bummer, bummer. 

I could go on and on, but, believe me, I feel your pain.  Okay, that's an overused phrase, but it's true.  It's a chronic pain that's always there and is moreorless a slow and continuous crucifixion of sorts. 

You're The Real Deal, Cindy.  Unbeknownst to you, probably, is that Janet Lynn, Rejennerated and you are my Rock of Gibraltar in my own transition.  Consider yourself seriously e-hugged over the internet. 

Peace, goddess.       Lacey

[Cindy]

You have another one.

Me.


I have been to Hell.

I know the corridors.

I'm here.

Cindy

[justmeinoz]

For starters I come here. 

After all the crap I have been through in the last ten years I have reached the point where I can be alone without being lonely.  Not always, but often enough that it doesn't upset me too much any more.