Transition on the Fly

[Sinnyo]

This issue's caused me a disproportionate level of anxiety, but it's an issue nonetheless and I wonder if anyone has any tips on doing quick gender swaps while out and about; I've pretty much given up.

While I'm more than content to be out and about as a girl, I only do so when I'm not being called upon - usually by the JobCentre, with whom I have not yet changed my details. I only just received my deed poll, and so have yet to notify any government departments of the change. I don't feel great about presenting a false, male form in their crowded office, but I feel worse about having to explain why "Mr. Name" is presenting as a woman. I'm taking the easier option for now until their records are updated and they're calling upon "Ms. Name".

This causes me a problem next week, as I'm trying to fit social stuff alongside a meeting in which I really don't want to be a woman answering to a masculine name. I can dress fairly androgynously (and am still read as male), but the last few touches which I feel make me whole are not the sort of thing I wish to add in some mens' room cubicle - and sadly, the disabled toilets in my town's shopping mall are locked with a 'RADAR key'. You have to apply for those. >.<

I've resigned myself to heading back home, changing there and heading back out again, but I wonder, has anyone found ways to accomplish this?

[spacial]

be silly to add those touches in a men's toilet.

If I were in your situation I'd try to see how much I could use as androgynous. Then try to find a way to add the touches that complete the appropriate look.

What I needed I would keep in a bag and take that with me.

I don't know which city you're in but some have those auto-loos which always seem to be sited in the middle of the pavement.

But another thought springs to mind. Could you make an appointment with the employment advisor and discuss the issue with them. It would seem a good time to get some idea of how they react and what they would advise.

[Kairi]

... and sadly, the disabled toilets in my town's shopping mall are locked with a 'RADAR key'. You have to apply for those. >.<

As far as I am aware, you can buy RADAR keys, although any disabled people can apply for them free of charge. A quick search on eBay revealed many listings and they are fairly cheap. It will be quite useful to own one especially if you feel awkward going into gender specific bathrooms. They will work with all RADAR locks but get the small version that you can put onto your keyring. The standard size ones are huge.

[Sinnyo]

As far as I am aware, you can buy RADAR keys, although any disabled people can apply for them free of charge. A quick search on eBay revealed many listings and they are fairly cheap. It will be quite useful to own one especially if you feel awkward going into gender specific bathrooms. They will work with all RADAR locks but get the small version that you can put onto your keyring. The standard size ones are huge.

Interesting - thanks a lot, Kairi! I'd seen the phrase used on a review of the shopping centre, but didn't know what it meant; I see now it stands for "the Royal Association for Disability Rights" rather than what I had imagined, which was something like a car key. They are kind of huge, but I see only one size available. Ah well - it'll be safe inside a handbag. ^_^

I think I have a day of toing and froing ahead, but I'll scout about - if the disabled loos are locked, I'll know how to spare myself some awkwardness in future. Very good tip, that.

[Kairi]

Smaller ones do exists. I guess the reason why these keys are normally huge is because it makes it easier for disabled people to use.

This was the type I was talking about... it looks just like an ordinary house key. http://disabilityonline.co.uk/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=13

[Jeatyn]

I'm a bit late to the thread but I wanted to share the fact that I'm also "presenting" female with a masculine name

My records were changed ages ago but due to being pregnant I obviously can't pass. This causes so much hassle at the job centre when they call "mr strife" and then I go up to the desk. I'm constantly having to do ID checks and my money gets screwed up a lot if I get a particularly difficult signer who doesn't believe I'm who I say I am.

You can change your details at the job centre very quick and easy if you have a deed poll, they did it on the spot for me with no questions asked and changed the title and marker at the same time.

As for the gender-switching at will. I have presented male for a meeting or whatever and then wanted to go out as female and I've done this loads of times. A skirt/tights or a tight fitting pair of womens pants underneath some baggy mens pants and then the same for up top...tight womens underneath mens baggy, or even just a jacket you keep closed. If you keep a mirror on you then makeup can be done anywhere, just find an alleyway or something if you don't want to sit in the open and can't find a bathroom.