Trichotillomania

[Meepit]

EDIT: my mistake I totally skipped over the "video" portion of the thread section and went directly to haircare! Sorry! Please move this if it fits elsewhere!

Anyone else had to deal with it? I've had it since I was 5 and it's such a burden on top of being trans and awkward. Just seeing if anyone else has it and knows how to deal with it because it's been affecting me in full force recently. I usually avoid hair dressers because they cause a bigger scene than necessary as well as the awkward switches of "he"s and "she"s.

Also checking if this may have a common occurrence among transfolk (like how there have been some findings of trans people having autism; supporting the claim that the fetus may have been exposed to high doses of hormones in the womb and that this is a biological construct as opposed to a social one).

I hope that didn't come off as too nosey or presumptuous 

[ClaudiaJ]

I've got it. I had what I can only really describe as an anxiety attack and ripped out half an eyebrow, a quarter of the hair on my head, and all my eyelashes on one side of my face. At the time I was on medication for bipolor disorder (due to what I can only assume was a misdiagnosis because some symptoms of my dysphoria might easily be mistaken for the depressions and the "manic highs" can be those times I distract myself with normal activities) and so I blamed on side effects of Depakote and nobody questioned it. I had to go to school like that for far too long. My eyebrow never really grew back in right, and I'm pretty sure my hair receded a little in the area I ripped it out.

When I first started puberty I would habitually rip out the hairs "down there" every chance I got. Then the facial hair began to spread to the sides of my face and my neck. I've got a large bald patch on my neck, sparsely populated, yet always irritated, sore, and inflamed. I don't even notice most of the time that I'm doing it until there's blood everywhere.

Wikipedia tells me it's brought on by stress and anxiety, so I'm very hopeful it dissipates when I get my hands on some hormones, as my dysphoria is my leading cause of stress and anxiety.

I know a few cis people who are affected by trichotillomania too. I think it affects a large amount of people, but few people would likely admit it unless they knew there was a name for it. It may or may not have anything to do with our gender issues, it may effect all people in a mostly-equal ratio. We can't really know for sure without education, surveys, and statistics.

[Meepit]

Thanks for your reply and insight CJ.

Yeah I'm hoping it dies down too when I get on hormones but I try not to get my hopes up that T will be a cure-all D:. Anxiety was definitely a common factor and is seen to affect this community in various ways.

One thing I did notice: It came back in full force after I had a bad trip off of weed which brought on derealization so I might just chalk it up to the weed triggering anxiety which triggered both the derealization and recurrence of trich. However, I first got trich ages ago when I was 5 and wasn't exposed to weed or much anxiety (so I thought). Perhaps it was perpetuated by my parents freaking out that I was losing eyelashes and taking me to every single doctor. Who knows.

But yeah I wish you the best in getting hormones (I know how hard it is myself!) and dealing with trich too. Atleast we're not alone  And yea, school and general public areas aren't fun for someone with trich....you get stared at and questioned mercilessly. Even some family members have been somewhat prying....and not in a concerned way. It's not a common or well-studied disorder unfortunately  .

Thanks again for your reply.

[Fenrir]

I got this really bad when I hit puberty and secondary school at the same time. You can still see the bald patches on my passport photo (I was stupid and pulled it out mostly along the parting, so it looks like this really weird combover thing is happening). Luckily, I've calmed it down to a much more manageable level since leaving school (I rarely pull it out these days, it's more tugging on it which remains as the habit whenever I'm thinking or watching TV) which says a lot about how stress triggers it. It subsided when life became easier to cope with. I hope the same happens with you!
Wear a hat (when your hand automatically goes to your head, feeling fabric instead of hair means you have a chance to restrain yourself), try and keep your hands occupied in other ways. It's a fairly obscure condition still, so I'm sure a lot more people have it than would admit to it, cis or trans.

[Meepit]

@ Fenrir: Yeah I wear a hat a lot in public because I just can't bear the stares and the extra attention it draws to me anyway. However, wearing a winter hat in the summer is a bit suspicious as well....I get yelled at for it but in my opinion it's better to let people wonder about what's going on than to remove all doubt. It happens to me when I'm watching stuff as well! But it really gets bad when I can't sleep and I'm just lying around and when I'm studying for something (anxiety and stress link). As for the wearing a hat indoors and keeping my hands occupied, I'll definitely try those soon! Thanks for letting me know it subsided for you and for wishing the same for me  . I've been waiting for that moment for years.

[ClaudiaJ]

I've been lucky enough that the only time I've touched my hair was that one time long ago. I love my hair too much to do that ever again. I've been able to restrict it to hair that I already want gone anyway, and unfortunately there's a lot of it right now. I'm hoping it doesn't manifest itself bigger when I start fixing my eyebrows.

I've noticed that if I just put some kind of barrier between my fingers and my face, I stop picking at it. I won't wear a hat for any reason, so I'm hoping my love for my hair is enough to keep my idle fingers away from that, but for my eyebrows maybe some kind of invisible wax coating could help. And for my face a lotion or sun screen might work.

Keeping my finger nails trimmed at all times is also imperative. No tweezers or thin sharp objects allowed near me (paper clips and safety pins), and always keep my hands busy no matter what. I've been twirling a short USB cable lately, but i's getting absolutely irritating and I want to stop. I've thrown it at my screen a total of 8 times and just barely missed ruining it.

[Meepit]

I get it in recurring episodes, but lately it's been a long period of time (about 3 years this episode). I actually don't think about it in the sense of "oh if I keep doing this I'll be bald" I tend to not even care until I realize how much damage I've done  . I also tend to pull in the most obvious places (eyebrows, eyelashes, and the top of my head....). If there's one area that's really bugging me, I can't concentrate or do anything else until I take care of it. Sometimes I even resort to tweezers D:. So maybe you have more will-power than I  .

[Yakshini]

One of the reasons I keep my whole body shaved (aside from my head) is because if I don't shave, I'll try to pull my hair out. I'll sit for hours with a tweezers or just pick at my skin until it bleeds trying to pull at hair. My eyebrows are frequently stupid-looking because I compulsively pull them out.
I just attributed my trichotillomania to my OCD.

[Meepit]

Yeah I've been moving onto my eyebrows too and light eyebrows are not exactly the most masculine characteristic....so I guess I ought to remember it makes me look more feminine 

[Rayalisse]

Yea I will sit and pull hairs on my beard / eyebrows / chest... and I do it fully unconsciously -- until after a while i look down and see this pile of hairs... and then I catch myself and stop.

Until I do it again. 

Cheers.

Rayalisse

[jmaxley]

I've got this this too.  I try to keep it contained to areas where missing hair wouldn't be noticeable.

[Meepit]

I've got this this too.  I try to keep it contained to areas where missing hair wouldn't be noticeable.

ugh I wish I had that kind of control D: I've started up again and I can't go out anywhere without a hat  and that's so annoying in the summer when it's hot enough already.

[jmaxley]

What helped me stop from pulling it from my head was getting it almost all shaved off.  I'm sure if I let it get longer, I'll start pulling on it again.

[Meepit]

Hmm, that might actually work  . Now to subtlely shave my head....LOL I'll work it out somehow  Thanks for the tip.