I'm terribly sorry that you are having arough day. I've been partially in your shoes, before. I once had a girlfriend whom I loved dearly. She had a son that I also cared deeply for. She would go off for days leaving me to take care of her son. Eventually I realized she was using me as a babysitter and not contributing to my happiness (quite a bit in the opposite direction, actually) and had to have her leave. I remember when I realized just how bad things were, lying in my bedroom in a fetal position crying. It was really really bad.
After I booted her out, and said goodbye to her son (whom I always considered my adopted son) I used to wake up at night paniced that I couldn't hear her son in the other room playing. To this day, seeing cartoons he used to love will sometimes brings back those emotions. I eventually got over it, though. I became a stronger person in the end.
I ran into her the last time I went back to my hometown. She grew up a lot and realized where she had gone wrong. I got to see her son too. He grew up to be totally awesome. He actually gave me a big hug when I saw him. I almost cried.
Hang in there. Things will get better. I wish I could find a way to help you get past the tough parts, though!
