Should I tell her the truth, or just break up with her?

[harlee]

Yep Im stupid! I now have a girlfriend that I have been dating for 2 weeks (3 this up coming Wednesday).   I do like her quite a bit, and Im fairly sure she likes me back...well she was the one who asked me out  After hearing she has recently had over 17 boyfriends herself I wasnt too sure if our relationship would last this long (so I didnt consider the whole trans issue to be so big)...however, she is saying stuff like how I am one of the best things that has happened to her in a long time 

Now Im starting to feel more and more guilty everyday I feel like I need to be honest and tell her I was born a girl  But I dont want to be seen as ever being a girl, because it will feel awkward! I dont think she will take the news that bad, she is very understanding (and is bisexual herself) She is really pretty, and extremely cute...and seems to be popular! We hold hands often, and people always ask how old I am (assuming Im really a 12 year old or something  ) She does smoke and has had sex way more than once (kinda bad )...but has been taking things nice and slow with me...we have only ever kissed about 50 times I dont want to break her heart...and I dont want her to later tell the entire school about my status!

I should have thought it through  Do you think it would be wisest for me to break up with her, rather than telling her the truth? I wont really have an understandable reason for doing so tho  I swear I will never date again! Im young and too dumb, any advice would be greatly appreciated. If anyone has tips on how to break up with your current girlfriend/boyfriend, that too would be useful 

[Vancha]

It's not a nice situation to be in.  If I were in your shoes, I'd probably test the waters, see how she reacts to trans people in general, and to trans men.  I don't know, it would be hard to show her such things without becoming suspicious.  If she's truly bisexual, you have a greater chance of things going smoothly... But it also depends on how much the relationship means to you.

[JohnR]

Harlee, the chances are she doesn't have the emotional maturity to cope with transgender issues. It's a huge trust thing to tell someone that you're trans and you have to ask yourself if you're willing to risk her freaking out and outing you to everyone she knows.

My advice would be to just let the relationship run its natural course and both go your separate ways when it does.

Enjoy it while it lasts but don't risk yourself for a girl you've only known for 2 weeks.

ETA If you want to break up with her. just become extra busy with other things, it doesn't have to be the big serious talk or a major falling out to end the relationship.

[Jeatyn]

If you have a stealth deal at school I wouldn't ruin that over one girl. Without sounding too judgemental because I was probably way worse at that age .... she doesn't exactly sound like a person who would be mature enough to handle it and properly and not spread it around the school

As for the actual breaking up, at that age relationships just seem to drift apart...be busy...she'll get bored....presto you're single.

[James42]

If its a relationship that you actually want to pursue, then wait to tell her, definitely not after only 2 weeks. If its just a casual high school relationship, then don't tell her, its not worth outing yourself.

[Carson]

Dude, relax, you've only been going out for 2 weeks. give the relationship time to run its course, you don't have to feel guilty about not telling her yet. You will know when the time is right to tell her, don't force it.

[Tad]

You don't want to cause a situation.. at that age level teenage girls aren't good at keeping secrets.. so yeah.. people might find out you aren't pure male if you tell her. However.. things could go well too. I waited a few months before telling my would be girlfriend. Even though she hated my guts for a while, things worked out/are still working themselves out. However.. at her age and maturity level (29).. I didn't have to worry so much about her running around and outing me to everyone either.

If you really like her.. persue her for a bit longer, but don't outyourself.. just figure out whether she is trustworthy, and someone worth being in a relationship with (though I don't think any junior high/senrio high relationships are worth the trouble ).. and if she is.. well go for it, and if she isn't.. you can just drift apart.