How to deal with rejection/Dulling emotions

[Hurtfulsplash]

So I'm looking for some tips on how to deal with rejection, and I'm not talking about just relationships, but being turned down for a job, some stranger being rude for no reason... My mind can easily tell me that its not my fault, just accept it, there's nothing I can do, be strong, blah blah blah, but then how do you deal with that pit in your stomach that won't let the feelings go away. I can try to ignore it but it keeps on creeping up. Any ideas? Also, when you've dealt with these feelings in a way that makes things worse how do you deal with the guilt?

[Flan]

I've used "radical acceptance", that is taking in the situation at face value *without judging* it, and not letting the emotional reaction take control.

[justmeinoz]

With regards to job applications, I figure the way things are anywhere in the world, you are competeing with a lot of other applicants who are no better than you. 
There are usually so many though that the person who has to pick who gets the job more or less ends up tossing a coin to decide.  It is purely down to luck in a lot of cases, so when I was unemployed I didn't take it personally.

With people who are rude, I just put it down to them being a rude and ugly waste of skin who doesn't know any better!

[Hurtfulsplash]

I didn't want to be too specific about my issues, but in order to figure this out I think I'll try. The thing is when I'm rejected or offended I find it very difficult to let go, mostly I internalize my anger, sometimes lashing out at objects. I basically only have two main emotions, happy and angry (unless I'm drunk, then you can add sad to that list). I find that only time can ease my emotions, but there always seems to be something new to bring upon that knot in my stomach feeling of anger. I've tried breathing exercises but it just makes me hyperventilate. Do you guys experience this and if so how do you alleviate it?

[brittanyfear]

To me rejection & some stranger being rude to me are totally different things. I don't care much if someone rejects me. There are like 6.8 billion people in the world. I'm not going to get my emotions all tied up in one. I don't know. I guess it's just easy for me to let it go. I haven't been on the job market for a while, since I've been at the same place for quite some time. A job you apply for at this point in time is being applied for by 5 or 6 other people. 4-5 get rejected. Sometimes they just grab whichever resume is on top.

As far as strangers being rude to me, I'm just rude back. It has to be kept within reason, but I don't have any significant internalized anger. Being a mean-ass has its benefits.

[spacial]

Hurtfulsplash.

I really understand where you're coming from.

We try very hard but when people push us away, it's more than simply saying no, it's us, personaly.

I thnik perhaps we are trying to present ourselves as individuals rather than as the labour comoditity, (in the case of a job, for example), that the other sees us.

I think also, that perhaps we are coming on too strongly for the person. We have so much to give. They are not looking for it.

Often, when we meet people, this can have the same result. We want to be firendly, even friends. But they seem to take us as almost an intruder, they push back, often quite hard, leaving us feeling crumpled and disposed of. Like a clean napkin, squashed and thrown away.

[Rosa]

When I experience rejection, even slight, all the times I have ever been rejected in my life all flood my mind and I get emotionally overwhelmed.  If its been at a job where I was really criticized unduly or yelled at I just totally break down and decompensate.   

I don't know the answer, so I'll be reading along, but I imagine it has something to do with learning self-acceptance.