Hello everyone
Im not new, but since its been such a long time since Ive posted, I decided to introduce myself again. Life changes you over time, and Im almost a completely different person these days. When I last frequented these forums, I was a self-hater. When I felt like a man, I was disgusted with my ideas of femeninity. When I felt like a woman, I felt sorry for my masculine side for being so near-sighted. LOL! I know this is a fairly common problem, but Im thinking I handled it less heroically than most. Looking back, I think I was heading for serious phsychological issues. In all seriousness, I wonder how close I was to developing a split personality.
Luckily, I recombobulated back into one personality inwhich I embrace myself entirely. Yay! Now when Im in a masculine mode, and I look down and see painted toenails, I just smile instead of grimmacing. These days I find myself feeling femenine a great deal more, to the point where its about 90% of the time, instead of maybe 10% a couple of years ago. I think this is because Im no longer ashamed of my nature. In the past, I was always stiffling it since I knew it would lead to frustration and confusion, but now that threat is gone. Sometimes I feel like Im meeting myself for the first time, but then that sensation washes away and there is only familiararity left behind.
Im not sure if I will ever come out, or move away to start a new life (HRT is my Mt. Everest), but I know that Im happy now. And God, that beats the pants off of.... well, everything
*waves*
