Name irritation...

[RaeLikesTea]

I have been going by Rae/Ray for the majority of my life - hardly anyone knows me by my birthname - I don't even associate it as my name anymore. However, with new teachers this semester, I've had a few issues with it. For the most part, they've been very respectful. Today, though, I pulled up a group assignment online to find my preferred name in quotation marks - "Ray". While a bio male named Matthew can go by Matt without a second thought from the powers that be, my preferred name gets surrounded by quotation marks.
Anyway, this experience just reminded me of how much I want to change my legal name, and I have a few questions...
Should I hold out on the name change until I can legally change my gender?
Also, what did you guys do about a middle name? Change it? Drop it?

[Carson]

I am not waiting until i can change my gender but thats me. I also kept my middle name (lynn) even though it is feminine because it means a lot to my mom and I abbreviate anyways so it really doesn't matter to me.

[Inkwe Mupkins]

I would personally get it changed asap. You could weight untill you get gender changed but that could be years depending on where you are in transition. when i get the $800 needed to do a name change i think im gonna change it all if i can. im not sure if i can change my last name. I personally want to get my middle name changed as along with first because it's like your severing ties with your old identity. For me keeping Marie I feel like id still have some ties to the female i never was. Besides Shaun Marie, how fruity is that.

[M.Grimm]

The first thing I did was my legal name change. I won't be doing the gender change until a bit later. But I knew there was no way I could go for a year or more with a girl name attached to me. I'm glad I did it this way because even now I get mail addressed to my old name, and my student loans finally came through... in my old name. Ergh! And it's been nearly a year, too! Continuously having to address all the changes makes me thankful I did the name thing early. I kept my middle name though, it was already gender-neutral.

[Bones]

I am not waiting until i can change my gender but thats me. I also kept my middle name (lynn) even though it is feminine because it means a lot to my mom and I abbreviate anyways so it really doesn't matter to me.

I have an uncle named Lynn...Some places it's considered a unisex name

[Calistine]

At the very least I would say, if people think you're female either way, why not go by your preferred name? I got my name and gender marker changed around the same time, but that's not always possible. If you have to wait for your gender I would just get your name change.

[Robert Scott]

I know several of you have mentioned saving up to get your name changed....you can always apply to the court for a fee waiver/ In Forma Pauperis ... in essence in ability to pay.  You cannot be denied a name change simply b/c you can't afford the court costs.  Each state is different as to the criteria ... but if your on state assistance in any way, your living cost makes it unable for you to pay, your at or below 125% of poverty level...Its a way to get it done sooner - minors most of the states will allow you to change your name if your parents are there with you.

Now, there is a benefit of waiting to get your name change ... some states, like MN will order your birth certificate changed at the same time if you have medical documentation.  Which, in my son's case he was born in Oklahoma - and it's tough to get your name changed there unless you have both top and bottom surgery done ... so, after talking with some people involved in legal issues such as that ... we decided that it would be easier & more likely successful if we have MN order it.

That is my two cents worth.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I changed my gender marker before name, simply because those papers got back to me first. They didn't give me any issues with it.
I'd change name asap, I only waited this long cause of money. It kills me to see it on paper, and now that it's finally happening it's insane how i'M disassociating myself with my birthname so much...I don't flinch as much when I hear other people called it, or think of it eveen being my old name when I see bills. Crazy.

[Radar]

When you guys talk about changing your gender marker what exactly are you talking about? Driver's licence? Birth certificate? Social security?

[gilligan]

When it comes to gender markers, they are on everything. I know in my state, they can issue you a new birth certificate and seal the old one, although I have no idea what the requirements are. You may be able to get it changed on your driver's license, social security, birth certificate, whatever. The requirements can be different at each level of government (state, federal) and sometimes even within the same level and a different department (passport and Veteran Affairs are both within the federal gov). Somethings can be changed and I'm assuming some things may not be able.

[Shang]

Once I can pass, I'm going to change my name.  Though I'm a bit scared because it means loads of paperwork.

[LoganTyler]

I changed my name as fast and as soon as i could.... before starting any process of HRT or physical transition... i mean i pass 75% of the time if not more until i open my mouth... but I got so sick of having to email my professors before each semester about my name and preferred pronouns so i went ahead and changed my name so that way its legally changed in their records... to Logan Nathaniel Tyler... so... most of the time if they see my masculine name its "he,his,him" because uhm.. what girl is named Logan nathaniel tyler?! lol besides my gender marker isnt on their roll books haha, so with that in mind, dude if its a hassle with people always putting your name in quotations i'd go ahead and change it.. because its a hassle really not to lol.