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When guys stare at us, what are they thinking?

Started by sysm29, September 11, 2010, 05:33:38 PM

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bunny

Quote from: Jill on September 12, 2010, 08:29:15 PM
Or the "guy" might be a pre-transition M2F thinking "Gee, I wonder if she is a trans.  I'm one too. I would love to chat with my sister but don't want to out myself or embarass her. "  :)

Haha.. I've done that.
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Janet_Girl

Because I am 5' 10", I get stared at sometimes.  I really think it is for the same reason As Barbie.  I am taller than most women, so I have to assume that it is because I am tall.  And I do pass 99% of the time.
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barbie

Quote from: andream on September 12, 2010, 08:20:30 PM
I still go out in guy mode and when men stare at me I think they see a skinny effeminate male, and are wondering what the hell is up lol. Or I think they may be gay, and are just eyeing me as a guy. Men do treat me in a far softer way than they used to, though.

I was at the shops a couple of weeks ago with my wife, and I was just standing there while she was waiting to pay. The guy at the counter completely ignored her, and looked at me and just gave me this really sweet smile, not the type of smile a guy usually shares with another guy. I sort of chalked it down to him being gay and him thinking I was probably gay too lol.

On the few occasions I have gone out all dolled up, I have had guys stare at me in a COMPLETELY different way - a leering way... but those were trans events, and all the guys there are trans admirers so I wouldn't exactly consider that a true representation of what I would experience in the real world if I were to go out femme.

My height is just 6 feet (183 cm), and with those 4-inch heels, I may look 6 feet and 4 inch (193 cm).

Recently I moved to an island here. The population size is about a half million. It is isolated from the mainland, both geographically and culturally.

A problem I face now is that guys here stare at me for too long time. Yesterday I ran about 20 km along the coastline here. There are many recreational parks, and every place is so much beautiful (I tried to take some photos, but the battery was out). I had to pass a corridor where two men were working.  It was an embarassing moment, as those guys seemed to be so much absolved in looking at me. I could not find where I should turn my eyes. I just looked at the sky to avoid their gaze. I never faced this kind of embarassment in the mainland. I just wore short athletic pants with a hat. Fortunately, I could see that finally they turned town their eyes when I just passed them. I guess my height together with my tanned skin makes me look so much striking. I am afraid that I will be known to everybody here.

Last weeked, I went to my home, and spent some time with my little daughter (age 6). We saw a praying mantis in the playground. She commented like "It looks like my dad"  :embarrassed: Yeh. It was indeed skinny and tall like me anyway.

Barbie~~
Just do it.
  • skype:barbie?call
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Izumi

when i first started going out as a woman full time i got stares by men and women.  When i started looking more and more like a woman, i got less stairs.  Everyone staring at you is people suspecting something about you is kind of off, people looking at you of the opposite sex once in a while, you pass and they might be checking you out.  Then you get a surprise when some guys start asking you out, then you know you pass, combined with no excessive staring and feeling just like one of the crowd. 

About 1 yr into HRT i dressed in tight jeans and heels, had a punky kind of look but classy.  Walked by a group of college students at the mall, in the corner of my eye i saw them all looking at me one even turned to get a better look, then i overheard a construction worker type comment.  Made me feel better that i could pass as a woman.  I am a little on the taller side at 5'10".
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azSam

I would say I am slightly taller as well, maybe 5' 9". Not too tall though, I am fine with my height. I get stares on the opposite side. I am not quite full time yet, and people seem to stare at me when I'm in full guy mode. While I was out with my family yesterday, this gentlemen at a store wanted to call me sir, be stumbled on his words quite a bit, and never really got it out, then finally gave up. I think what tipped him off was my obvious masculine voice at the time, and my clothes. But it was empowering to me that my appearances alone can confuse someone well enough that even when I try to present as male, they are confused.

I'm sure I'll get some good going out stories too.
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amm12388

"When guys stare at us, what are they thinking?"

Usually? "Wow she's hot"
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Rock_chick

I went down to see friends in cornwall a couple of weekends back and I though I don't like the idea of spending the weekend as me (I'm always me, i'm still a girl no matter how I look, even if I've got obvious stubble) but I did spend more effort over my appearance and to be more obviously female at a casual glance and I kind of got freaked out at first by how little I got stared at...it was like I was expecting people to notice me for the wrong reasons. I really do think if someone really has clocked you then you'll know about it...otherwise the stares are probably for good reasons (well if being perved over by the male gaze as a good reason), but you were probably not being read.
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azSam

Quote from: Helena on September 16, 2010, 03:18:18 PM
I went down to see friends in cornwall a couple of weekends back and I though I don't like the idea of spending the weekend as me (I'm always me, i'm still a girl no matter how I look, even if I've got obvious stubble) but I did spend more effort over my appearance and to be more obviously female at a casual glance and I kind of got freaked out at first by how little I got stared at...it was like I was expecting people to notice me for the wrong reasons. I really do think if someone really has clocked you then you'll know about it...otherwise the stares are probably for good reasons (well if being perved over by the male gaze as a good reason), but you were probably not being read.

Those are some fascinating insights. Really gives me something to think about.
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Rock_chick

<----this is a picture of me from that weekend to give you an idea of what I look like.
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My Name Is Ellie

Quote from: Janet Lynn on September 12, 2010, 10:54:14 PM
Because I am 5' 10", I get stared at sometimes.  I really think it is for the same reason As Barbie.  I am taller than most women, so I have to assume that it is because I am tall.  And I do pass 99% of the time.

One of the prettiest girls I know is taller than me - and I am 6'1''. She gets stares as much as any girl, but nobody thinks anything weird about her at all. :) Oh, she also wears heels on top of that.
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clairezoey

depends if u beauty or ugly..honestly..if beauty they will amaze..in the other hand they will laugh
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Hermione01

Quote from: clairezoey on September 16, 2010, 08:25:21 PM
depends if u beauty or ugly..honestly..if beauty they will amaze..in the other hand they will laugh

I recently read an interesting response in another forum about people who stand in the street, pointing and laughing at other people.  This particular guy called them buffoons and clearly insane, and should be pitied  ;)
I have to agree.  Who honestly openly laughs at other people's appearance?.  ::)
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V M

Quote from: clairezoey on September 16, 2010, 08:25:21 PM
depends if u beauty or ugly..honestly..if beauty they will amaze..in the other hand they will laugh
What if you look okay but your behavior is like stinky butthole?
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Nicky

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V M

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Hermione01

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azSam

Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 16, 2010, 08:39:47 PM
What if you look okay but your behavior is like stinky butthole?

Motion Passed, this is a great response.
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rejennyrated

Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 16, 2010, 08:39:47 PM
What if you look okay but your behavior is like stinky butthole?
Yes very clever! LOL ;D

That was richly deserved, but please do watch out for the TOS15's flying overhead everyone.

I would hate one to accidentally fall on your fine heads. ;)
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clairezoey

Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 16, 2010, 08:39:47 PM
What if you look okay but your behavior is like stinky butthole?

how long we want to know other people behaviour? if just for a little while or meet when walking at the park, or cafe, what matter the most was appearance..it reality..dont live in delusional world.
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Muffin

EDIT: lols I just reread the thread title (I've been shocking recently I know, I need to cut back on...hhmmm) ok this is a new reply ...

"zomg hottie... come on photographic memory don't fail me now! 0_0 -_- 0_0".

or quite possibly...

"wtf? it's one of those... omg!!! lol..... no way!! where is my cam phone ..*click click* lol".

^^^^^that last one is a true story one time I was out at a pub many moons a go.... some little still-wet-behind-the-ears little jerk kept trying to snap me but I hid behind my friend until his friend called him away.

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and this is for my mistake but it's too awesome to delete...
Re: When guys stare at us, what are you thinking?


On days when I feel like I look great and pass well then it's "right on I'm hott.... soak it up and bank it away".

but on days when I feel like the world is coming to an end then it's usually "oh dear god just crack open the ground so I can dive right in... YES I KNOW you don't need to stare I do have a mirror at home I KNOW".
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