How to be sure?

[aydan_boy]

I'm just wondering how all you peoples came to the conclusion that you were androgyne... Why did you think this, instead of just mtf/ftm? I'm wondering, cuz I'm starting to question my, er, "ftm-ness" I guess.

[ZaidaZadkiel]

I didn't came to the conclusion, I knew it all along, I just never had a name for it until I learned about androgyny.

The very first time I read it, I didn't understood a thing, it was until a few years ago that I re-read what was it about (after I learned what the whole Trans stuff is) that I was like "Ooh, that makes sense"

[saint]

I'm still not sure I identify as androgyne - i'm still finding my way around at the moment. But for me, I don't have any issues with my body; I am happy with my genitals and not having breasts etc, for me it is more a matter of identity and most importantly how I express myself.

[Bombi]

ab, don't worry about labels too much. Yes they give you a bit of momentary security when you seem to fit and choose one, but does it really define you? No. Labels are pretty much just a box.
I came to identify as A. I realized that I could never complete my transition partly due to medical issues and partly due to the fear of the unknown. I have found solace and like minded people here with the androgynes and it has been comforting to understand that I'm not alone or insane.
We cover a wide spectrum of gender fluidity. Some of us have found a nitch while others have discovered a oasis on our journey.
Relax, ponder and go with the (your) flow.

[lucaluca]

i think the problem is that a few people who realize that they are maybe ftm or mtf don't see any other options. in our society there is only black or white and no grey area. and then you think "hey, i don't fit into the male/femal role, so i'm female/male transsexual. if you are a girl who wants to have muscles, likes to drink beer, likes to play soccer and wanna have short hair this is "not good/normal" for a lot of people. and if a guy wants to be gracile, have long hair, feminine facial features, and likes to wear dresses it is "not good/normal" and the girl and the boy who likes these things that are considered to be "not good" for a female/male they start to think if they're transsexual. i know that i simplify the subject of transsexualism and reduce it to social causes, but there are people like those who identify as androgyne who aren't transsexual, but wanna express themeselves in a way, that our society discriminates and think that they have to change their gender to live their life in a certain way.
to answer your question why someone thinks he/she is androgyne, instead of mtf/ftm is that they realize that they wouldn't feel right if they were the other gender and then they discover they grey area of gender . but that is only my opinion.

[Eva Marie]

When i realized that i would be just as (un)happy with a female body as with my current male body i knew i was not mtf. Androgyne seemed to be the best fitting label for me.

[no_id]

i think the problem is that a few people who realize that they are maybe ftm or mtf don't see any other options. in our society there is only black or white and no grey area. and then you think "hey, i don't fit into the male/femal role, so i'm female/male transsexual. if you are a girl who wants to have muscles, likes to drink beer, likes to play soccer and wanna have short hair this is "not good/normal" for a lot of people. and if a guy wants to be gracile, have long hair, feminine facial features, and likes to wear dresses it is "not good/normal" and the girl and the boy who likes these things that are considered to be "not good" for a female/male they start to think if they're transsexual. i know that i simplify the subject of transsexualism and reduce it to social causes, but there are people like those who identify as androgyne who aren't transsexual, but wanna express themeselves in a way, that our society discriminates and think that they have to change their gender to live their life in a certain way.
to answer your question why someone thinks he/she is androgyne, instead of mtf/ftm is that they realize that they wouldn't feel right if they were the other gender and then they discover they grey area of gender . but that is only my opinion.

I gotta say Luca, you've come a long way. Seems to me like you finally figured some things out for yourself.

So Aydan, to give you an alike answer:
I am biologically female. I don't feel female. If I were biologically male I wouldn't feel male.
I don't feel male or female and no matter what would change physically I will always feel that way.

I guess that's also the question you could ask yourself to get a better understanding of who you are: if you were born male would you still feel the way you do now?

I have to admit that there's a bit of a trick to this though since there are also androgynes who do take HRT in order to feel more at ease with their body. However, they're not transitioning from one sex to the other... Then again there are also androgynes who transition from one sex to the other but it's not related to the binary gender attached to that sex. Does that make any sense?

[Pica Pica]

How to be sure? You just picture yourselves as the alternative choices and see which one is cosiest.

[RebeccaFog]

I'm just wondering how all you peoples came to the conclusion that you were androgyne... Why did you think this, instead of just mtf/ftm? I'm wondering, cuz I'm starting to question my, er, "ftm-ness" I guess.

In my case, I thought I was MtF but then noticed that my symptoms were changing whenever I took stock.  For instance, I began to see myself as a combination of the two sexes. Feminine face, hair, and hips but with some facial hair and a flat chest. I got some of these features by going to gay pride and seeing some females with beards or a mustache drawn in.  I thought it was cool. I was hating my male genitals pretty badly and wanted them gone but came to the conclusion that female ones might not necessarily be what I want either. I think I began to see my gender more as a part of my personal identity than a physical one. This evolved even more as I gained more info and saw more photos of gender-queer people.

Eventually, I knew I wasn't a female and am not a male either. There's not a lot I can do to attain my personal self image, so I'm not doing anything at this time except now and then re-evaluating how I feel.

My dysphoria is pretty low. Even when it rears it's ugly head, it tends to be for brief periods of time.

One good thing to remember is that you do not have to rush into anything. You have the time to work it out and to get to know yourself much better than many other people do. Experiment and play.



Rebis

[noeleena]

Hi.

For some of us we knew from a very early age not the words that are used today or even the meanings ,
just knew & could we do any thing in those days . of cause not we d have been in the assylum quick smart.
so we said nothing .

12 years ago i came out as a woman because i was not a male in the true sence or even a woman , yet was / am both , yet im liveing as a woman because & not the only reason,  i can express my self in a way that is in keeping with who i am as a person .
I can join womens groups & be accepted & enjoy thier commony in a way as a male i would be out of place & not a part of the male detail,
    50 years was enough i did my time ,

   Now Im free , im out & can express who i am & be happy doing that,
  tho im still a male in some ways & that to is good .  still a part of who i am so for me im happy in the middle,
    & when your brain is wired both you see both sides,    at allmost 63 this is by far the best time of my life . & no regrets .

...noeleena...

[arrugalator]

Even though I'm still not really sure... I thought I might be FTM but it seems too extreme almost to be completely male. But being exclusively female is also too much for me. I want to be both, you know? That's where I'm more comfortable.

[childofwinter]

I don't know for sure that I am an androgyne, but it seems to be the best label for my own personal gender identity. I think I've probably seen myself as "androgyne" for the past few years, but just didn't know about the labels and everything until late last year.

I'm fairly sure that I'm transgender, but not transsexual.

[Tree]

i have been highly uncomfortable for a long time as "woman" but i know for certain that i am not "man." this does not mean i fall in between. this is uncharted territory. i will play with it to my heart's content. it's just interesting, strange. how do you know? well...it's hard to say. how do you know you're ftm/mtf/other? how do you know you're cis? how do you know you're gay/straight/bi/pansexual/other? how do you know anything?

you explore. follow your gut. understand that your self-intuition is probably right. you are whatever you want to be. whatever you identify as, it's true. believe that.

[insideontheoutside]

The only way to be sure of anything is to experiment. It's like a straight up scientific process You run experiment after experiment to find the constants - to find the realities. What's great is it's your own personal experiments. When I realized I did not need to compare myself, that I was my own "control group" so to speak, that made a lot of difference for me. I was experimenting with outward appearances but judging reactions of other people, not really searching my own feelings and emotions as much. When I turned inward, I realized that I wasn't happy at all trying to please society and fit into the black/white world of just male/female. Unlike the definition of androgyne though, I never "felt" female. It's always been male from day one. The female stuff I feel like I've picked up along the way and that is how it's become a part of who I am.

So for me (as it sounds like it is for a number of folks) when I realized I was a unique individual and I stopped trying to NOT be myself, that made a big difference in my life. It took me years to figure that out though! Unfortunately no one comes with an owner's manual lol

[ativan]

Eventually, I knew I wasn't a female and am not a male either. There's not a lot I can do to attain my personal self image, so I'm not doing anything at this time except now and then re-evaluating how I feel.

This, except my re-evaluation is at least a daily thing.

[Kinkly]

I never fit in as a boy/man with wanting to be more fem then allowed but I always wanted to be a Dad.  I had mixed messages about gender from different adults in my life as a young child I knew I was different to the other boys at a young age but I never thought I was the same as the girls as a teen I knew I was more like the girls but I was never accepted as one of them and didn't realy want to be I wanted to be a parrent I prefered the company of females I had female friends but noone wanted to be "More then friends" I now know that there are some things about me that are Male and some things that are female the grass may look greener on the other side but I need both the pink & the blue to express the purple me to far in either direction is very painful

[Kareil]

Mentally I consider myself more androgyne than anything, who I am and who I've been inside and how I've thought all my life.  I flip between feeling a little more on the girly side of things sometimes and more masculine other days.  Body...well, I've been hanging out more on the FtM boards ever since running through the "sex test" in my head and paying attention to the sort of equipment I'm using when I fantasize about abstract sex (as in not planning something specific with a particular partner, that's intended future reality, not fantasy enough).

Physically, I don't have the top and bottom parts that I want - I would prefer the male set to the female ones I currently have.  Or theoretically if having both sets were a third standard human option, male with the ability for reproduction as a female if necessary.  Given that the human species has not been designed for both reproductive roles in each person, though, I would rather the male set.  I'd like some nice pointed elf ears, too, and to win the lottery, but I don't think those are realistic expectations, either.  ;-)  I just don't want to be hairy on my body and lose the hair on my head!  I consider myself an Ft(m)A.  Or Ft(a)M.  However that'd work.