Let go of the guilt

[Raven]

My counsler asked me how I would feel if I let go of the guilt of being both abused by my dad and sexualy abused by a family friend. I don't know for sure how that would make me feel, and I'm still tryin to wrap my head around the thought of letting go of the guilt. I am still learning to accept what had happend to me wasn't my fault and I was innocent and didn't deserve the abuse. And I have discovered this may be the root of my major depression. As the abuse my dad gave stole my childhood, while harming both inside and out, and the sexual abuse stole my innocense. I have litterly been through heck and back many times, so the very thought of letting go of the guilt has been hard for me to wrap my head around and imagine how it would feel. And I can't help but to wonder how can I go about this. Heck I am just now starting to get to where I can find things to help me feel nice. Please thoughts or suggestions welcome.

[Cruelladeville]

I guess what you therapist is trying to say is whatever it is that weighs us down... whether its anger, envy, jealousy or physical pain...

With the right mind-set you can go a long way to negate it, you can take control, rather than be a slave to it...

We'd all like the perfect life, the perfect start, a great job, house car, partner family etc...but the reality all of this at best can only be temporary.... doesn't stop us striving for it though does it? 

And therein lay the demons...

Oft we're happier when our dreams remain just so. Sometimes when we achieve our goals when suddenly all we've really hoped for is made real, we get the thing... what we really find is the results not so thrilling after all. Oh dear? Life's not quite so amazing and fabulous after all.... and the dream was in fact more fulfilling than the reality.

This can be devastating and explains why rock-stars, celebrities and people like Marilyn Monroe take their lives...

Having it all can be way more empty, shallow and meaningless than what you might imagine.....

Or ever dream of....

Which is where that saying comes from 'if you really love somebody – set them free'

[Arch]

I still have issues about some unpleasant things that happened to me, as well as guilt over someone who died unexpectedly while we still had an unresolved misunderstanding.

One strategy that my therapist suggested has been helpful for both. He told me that when I feel guilty or ashamed about one of these events, I should pretend that it happened to someone else--then ask myself if that person should feel the same way. I did this in a session, and my response was that of course this other person shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed. He said that I shouldn't, either. I don't always remember to use this strategy on my own, but it helps when I do.

[Raven]

Thanks I'll try that Arch. I thank the both of you.