I just have to say I
love my new body! Who could have foreseen what a difference it has made? Sitting at my desk, or lying on the sofa watching TV, when I'm going to sleep at night, or when I wake up in the morning... it feels so indescribably wonderful, and I can only expect it's going to get better. I'm so happy with the way it feels now, as time goes by and I settle into my corrected anatomy- no longer wrong-side out girl, but right-side out at last.
I know I absolutely did the right thing, and you could not pay me back three times or a hundred times what I spent on this surgery to go back and have to live the way I was before. In fact there is nothing that would make me want to go back, and the
really great thing about it is that now I never have to. This has been for me a second chance at life- a truly happy life filled with a deep down peace and rightness of being I was previously unable to know, and never could have possibly known until I had taken this step. In the days leading up to my surgery I was naturally hoping for the best outcome, but I really didn't comprehend how nice it would be afterward, nor imagine the simple joy for being alive it would bring. It just feels so good to be finally whole and complete in my own body.
Surgery is a drastic measure by any standards, and not for everyone. For some of us though there really is no other alternative, nothing inherently better or noble or brave about pretending to have a life while so afflicted with such a debilitating condition, no matter what some others might say. Yes, life goes on and still has its troubles, but for me the lifelong ravages and struggles of gender dysphoria, and the incongruence of being in exactly the
wrong body are no longer among them. That conflict is over, and I won. Gender confirmation surgery was just what I needed; it cured my body and my soul, and transformed my life into something worth living. For me it was not a bad trade then, to give up something I couldn't keep in order to gain something I can never lose.
We hear so many negative things; sometimes it's nice to hear that it can all be worth it. I was withering and slowly dying inside, and now life is full of promise and new hope. Like the metamorphosis of caterpillar to butterfly, this journey within and without has been nothing short of miraculous. ♥
