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Pressure to conform?

Started by Farm Boy, September 22, 2010, 05:58:33 PM

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How did society's pressure to act like your birth sex affect your life and the decisions you made?

I felt very pressured and would usually conform to make it stop
8 (28.6%)
I felt very pressured but usually fought against it
11 (39.3%)
I did not feel much pressure but often conformed to avoid getting called out
10 (35.7%)
I did not feel much pressure so I usually felt no reason to conform
11 (39.3%)
The pressure varied and so did my responses
16 (57.1%)
Other [Explain]
4 (14.3%)

Total Members Voted: 28

kyril

Squirrel - that's totally my experience. I tried to be one of the pretty girls, and when I look back at pictures I really was, but it never felt right at the time...I always looked at myself in the mirror and saw a boy in a dress, a boy with makeup. And I never could walk gracefully, especially in heels. I walk like a man.

Looking back, it's really strange how I distorted my own perceptions. I assumed the feeling I got looking at pretty girls was that I wanted to look like them, and the feeling I got looking at attractive guys was that I wanted to sleep with them. The reality is that I just think pretty girls are pretty. And with guys it's more complicated, but i think I've mostly sorted out the difference between the types of guys I want to sleep with and the type of guys I want to be.


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gilligan

I never really felt pressured to conform until high school. I once got called "it" because of the way I dressed (masculinely), although I hadn't identified as a transman then. I almost got into a fight about that one. After that I tried to conform to some extent, at least in the way I dressed. After I left high school I didn't dress to conform to societal standards anymore. When I came out as trans in my second year of college, I felt instant pressure from my LGBT friends to conform as male, to transition and everything, and I wasn't ready for that yet. My parents never were very "pushy" about the topic until I came out as trans to them. They most definitely want me to conform as a woman, to that I told them I will not do. I know they won't kick me out for not conforming to their standards (I hope), but I wish I could go further with transitioning while living with them since I do not have a job.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
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Farm Boy

Wow, thanks for all the responses everyone!  It's been really interesting to read them, especially the ones about pressure from yourself and pressure to be stereotypically like your identified gender.  I hadn't even thought of that.
Started T - Sept. 19, 2012
Top surgery - Jan. 16, 2017
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