hurt

[Kisa]

First, my friend has totally ditched me, he said he can't take me being bi-polar anymore and has left me because I won't talk fluff 24/7. He has also left the two forums I knew him at, I do not know why he is doing this, I don't understand the change.   He just wants nothing to do with me anymore, and I said I was sorry end and out. but he just wants nothing to do with me, he had a change of heart out of no where.

also, my computer is messing up, and its the only one I have, When I we start it it says its checking for constince in disc, ok I let it then it goes to a screen with a bunch of words rushing up the screen, it will not stop. Last time my computer did this it, got the blue screen, without the computer I have no other way to talk to people.

[angelsgirl]

I'm sorry to hear that you're friend did this to you. However, I'm going to speak plainly about this and it is not intended to hurt you, but it might not be what you want to hear.

It is very difficult to be around someone who is constantly depressed or switching moods due to  uncontrolled bipolar disorder.  This is because someone like that needs more help than a non-professional is able to give and when they try to it drains them emotionally and they can sometimes become depressed themselves.  Also, it is very frustrating to constantly try to reassure someone and try to help them to only see all their efforts backfire when the person doesn't get better.

I'm not saying this is your fault. Your condition is not your fault.  His feelings aren't his fault, either, though. He may be backing away for his own mental health and he really can't be faulted for that. It's that you probably need a professional to help you and he can't do it.  

Again, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, but you need help.  I sincerely hope that you can get the help that you need and learn to be happy again.  I really wish you nothing but happiness, and I'm really sorry if hearing this has made you feel worse, I don't want you to feel worse, but the truth has to be said and it's something that you need to be aware of.  

In the meantime, give your friend the space he needs and when the time comes, maybe you'll be well enough to rekindle the friendship.  

Please take care of yourself, I want to see you well and happy!  

[Kisa]

But the problem is, he becomes friends with abusive women, he had a friend alot more unstable then me before, and he seems to become friends with people who aren't all there, he gave this girl so many chances and she was alot worse then me, I mess up a few times and our friendship is off. Yes, it hurts, it hurts like hell, i hate being bi-polar, but it seems it ruin my life, I don't deserve to be alone but people keep pushing me away, I get so lonely sometimes I sleep all day because there is nothing else to do.  I am getting help, I am really getting help, but still, it doesn't take away the bad things that made me like this. it doesn't take away my abusive family and highschool, Pills don't really take away real life pain, they help me have self control but don't take away the pain. Pills won't take away the pain of losing a friend, I don't know how to make the pain any better even with pills. I wish I wasn't the bad guy, I want his friendship back I am so alone, I wish I could take back all I did.
but I made a mistake now, I gotta suffer with lonliness, tears and pain. even if he made the best choice in his life to ditch me it still really really hurts, it hurts so much i been crying for two days straight.
Posted on: December 13, 2006, 10:45:09 AMNow he is saying, it isn't about me, he just don't want an online life.
 ???But he pushing me away after over a year of friendship.

[Kimberly]

People see things differently usually as such perhaps it was not the same kind of friendship to him as it was to you?

Regardless I do not know of anything other than perhaps sufficiently special 'people' to ease the pain of life. ^*shrug* I do not really have an answer, life kicks my tail also. (Has been for quite some time actually, lol.)

Still, perhaps your friend would be open to normal paper correspondence, pen pals, that sort of thing.


But whatever else can be said, you do have friends here Kisa.

[tinkerbell]

Oh Kisa, I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time.   You know, you can always come here anytime you wish.  Like Kimberly has said, you have plenty of friends here.  

Now regarding your computer, perhaps it is infected with a virus or a worm.  Have you considered cleaning it up using some of the free programs available online?  Mine had been acting weird for the past month as well, but now that it is "clean", I have noticed that it is working much faster.  Let me know if I can provide you with some links where you can scan and clean your computer for free.  Take care Kisa...and remember that we do care about you....keep in touch doll!

*hugs*

tinkerbell

[Kisa]

I have done some cleaning up, it works fine exept for that need to check disc screen but then it goes all nuts there. But it seems fine right now. I would like some links though.

my friend has been acting weird, I keep saying I am sorry but he keeps whining, I'll give him his space, i also point out to him that he makes friends with emotional women, he even joined a club for people with emotional problems. So, now he is whining about how all his female friends mistreat him, he also told me to day, we won't last forever and I have to find out how to deal with it. So, I dunno, he is just acting very weird.

your right kimberly, he probley see things alot different, I'm thinking, I over smothered him. Maybe, he wants space.

[Jillieann Rose]

Remember Kisa we are here for you.
As Tink said,

Take care Kisa...and remember that we do care about you....keep in touch doll!

More Hugs.
Jillieann/JR

[Kisa]

thank you.  

[angelsgirl]

Hmmm....I see your point, Kisa.

It sounds like he has an unhealthy habit in choosing abusive friends for some reason or another. Heh...you're probably too nice to him and that's why he pushes you away for abusive women. Perhaps he enjoys being able to complain about. I know that sounds weird but it's a very passive-aggressive type of thing to do.  Maybe he really doesn't like women and so he chooses the women that would prove him right and from that he derives the satisfaction of knowing he's right and he plays the martyr to get sympathy from others.  This is of course only my own speculation based on what you've told me.  I may not be completely right about him, but either way this is an unhealthy relationship for you to deal with.

I guess I'll have to ask you:  Why do you want him as friend? What is it about this friendship that is worth salvaging?

Think about it and then go from there. Go with your gut instinct...do you think it's a healthy relationship and if so, why?

[Julie Marie]

Kisa, my daughter is bipolar.  I know the ups and downs.  People who don't understand it may have a hard time with dealing with that.  Maybe it was just a bit difficult for your friend to handle it.  Even as a parent I found there were times I wanted to walk away.  But after she was diagnosed (it took several years!) I learned how to deal with it I became part of her support system and not just a frustrated parent.  Maybe if you told those in your life how to respond to you that would help.
As for your computer, I can offer nothing except when it acts up again  

Julie

[Jenny]

There can be a few reasons why you are getting the "Checking for Consistency" message, but the basic upshot of it is that you need to get a new hard drive asap as the one in your computer is damaged or likely to fail soon.

They are not expensive and easy to fit, or you can get a friend / pro to do it for you.

In the meantime, I would strongly suggest that if you have anything saved that you don't want to lose that you make a backup copy of it while you still can.

As for your friend, if he has had relationships with people with "issues" before and been hurt then maybe he is just trying to protect himself from it occurring again?

[Kisa]

he is my friend again, he admit he overacted and was just overstressed out and had a burn out.

my mom is being stuborn about my computer, I keep telling her their are problems but she won't listen or get it check out.

[angelsgirl]

he is my friend again, he admit he overacted and was just overstressed out and had a burn out.

That's one heck of an overreaction!  

For your sake, Kisa, I hope it's worth being friends with this guy.

But he's still on notice with me for doing that to you!  >