People Can Be So Terrible Sometimes !!

[erocse]

    Half this post is just me venting a bit. The other half is an apology to my wife. She reads all my posts. My wife and I have always been close . We are always together, I mean we do everything together. Until now we have never thought  anything about showing public displays of affection. We always did before . Why would we stop now.

      Last night had all the makings of a wonderful night. At a local old theater that plays classic movies. They were showing  "To Kill a Mocking Bird". One of my wives favorite films. We don't live far from town. About a mile. We walk there all the time. It was a beautiful warm evening . So we walked into town. Its a small town on the coast of Oregon.  We always hold hands. Sometime we get a whistle or two , but for the most part it's just a nice quiet walk. As we walked down the main street of town a car drove by filled with guys hanging out the windows yelling profanities and calling us lesbians. What a'holes. I don't even present as female. No makeup , Man's clothes and even if I did , leave me the F'___ alone. It was about seven in the evening . We were for the most part alone on the street. It scared my wife, made me a little nervous too. I didn't know what to think. I tried to keep my composure . I haven't been on hrt that long and haven't lost all my upper body strength yet . I know I shouldn't think this ,but I was thinking , Wouldn't it be nice if a lady kicked the ->-bleeped-<- out of one of those punks? I think I got it in me for one more go'round. 

     I have often wondered why gay men and women don't show affection in public very often. I mean they do at the LGBT festivals but I never see much of it  anywhere else . I guess they learn early on that there are still a lot of  a'holes out there. I thought as a society we got passed all that. At least here on the west coast?  I guess I over estimated the people in this town.

       What really bothers me is that the comments where directed at both of us. Although not acceptable by any means. It would have been better if the comments were directed at me, only. I feel bad for my wife. She did nothing to deserve  what she got, except to hang around with the likes of me.(Sorry Patsy, I love You.)

       I am not an "in your face" type a person. But I will be dammed if I am going to give in and stop walking around town with my wife. Unfortunately my wife and I agreed it might be prudent not to show affection in public. That really pisses me off !!! What a'holes people can be. (sorry about the expletives)

   Erocse

[Shang]

What rude people!  I know a couple (both bio female) who are married and have two kids and they get hell for it, but they put up with it and they try not to let it get to them--it helps that one of them can probably kick anyone's a**.  They've also worked to build up a decent reputation in their area, or so I gather. 

Anyway, just ignore those guys and show who's the better person (you).  You should be allowed to hold hands with your wife, and it's not even something that's uncommon--girls hold hands all of the time or they loop arms, even if they're just friends.

[Janet_Girl]

Erocse,

I was going to go off on a rant, but instead I will offer this.  Show your affection for one another.  Ignore the ignorant.  They are your typical small town bigotry.

It is sad that even in a state where we are protected there are people who must make their opinion higher than anyone else's.

[Octavianus]

Dear Erocse,

I know you feel different but you shouldn't blame yourself for any discomfort your wife experiences.
Imagine to step outside your body and look at you and your wife holding hands and walking. What do you see? In my imagination I see 2 persons in love and I hope you see the same. Compare this image to what those obnoxious men see when looking at you. They probably act on the assumption that love is only reserved to 2 persons of the opposite gender, or they want to show a "though" image to their friends. Now tell me which of these 2 views is the best way to look at you 2? Don't you think those men are horribly wrong, do you think they enjoy the pleasures of love and an open mind like you do?

What you write next concerns me a bit:

What really bothers me is that the comments where directed at both of us. I feel bad for my wife. She did nothing to deserve  what she got, except to hang around with the likes of me.

You both did not deserve what happened. You are a person, a precious human in love just like your wife. Please don't think it is ok or more acceptable for you to be verbally abused: it is not, you are not anything less.

It is indeed sad that people get these hurtful comments just because of a mild public display of affection. But hink of this: if you don't show it in public it will only take longer for people to get used and accept it. Remember: you are better than those low men. So don't give in to violence, how strong that urge may be.

[Hermione01]

I am sorry erocse that this happened, it certainly takes away the peaceful and romantic atmosphere in an instant.

There are jerks everywhere it would seem.  Even in Australia where gays are pretty much tolerated, you would never see hand holding or any kind of affection between gay couples unless it's gay mardi gras parade or at a gay nightclub.

One guy I know was thrown out of a casino in Queensland because he was passionately kissing his boyfriend in the premises. They would never do that to a straight couple unless they were engaging in a sex act.
I've seen two sets of lesbians hand holding in public in the last 5 years.  That's about it.  I've lived in Queensland and N.S.W and in very gay populated areas too.

This is why gays are tolerated not accepted as some people would believe.  They(as in straights)  may know you're gay, but they don't want to know about it on any level.  They don't want see anything that a normal couple would do, which includes holding hands, kissing etc. 

So how can it be said that gays/lesbians are excepted if they can't show any affection in public? That is not acceptance. 

[erocse]

    You have me crying , over here. Thank you for your compassionate responses. 

    Octavianus, Thank you. You are right. I do need to work on my self image .

   

[eshaver]

To rip off some very old Oregon slang I learned in Cave Junction Oregon years ago kids , "Shine them On "!!!!!!!!!! ellen

[Dana Lane]

You didn't deserve what you got either sweety.

[Octavianus]

I know how you feel Erocse. You could say that the comment was also directed at myself because I have a terribly low self image making me feel less worthy than people I care for. Somehow I find it easier to try to help others with this than myself.