my male ego

[rite_of_inversion]

Or why my wife is outraged at me...

My wife quit her job because she was attacked by a customer.  She was attacked because she cussed out said customer for calling her "sir" out of ignorance..in front of said customer's kid.  That was in August, I think, and she's out of money.

I told my wife that if she has not gotten a job by the end of the year, I'm going to disconnect the landline/dsl. The total combined cost of this is just about $75.   I barely have any money left between paydays-as in less than 200$  My car IS going to break down-it has close to 200,000 miles on it and there's already subcritical problems I can't afford to fix that will put the car out of service sooner or later.
And if she then gets a job-there is no bus service where we live, so how do both of us get to work with only one car-because we have never worked the same shift/same general area...and that's unlikely to happen.
So-ticking financial time bomb...and she doesn't get that, not at all.  Accused me of being ridiculous when I told her this.

Now, our respective mothers WILL run to our rescue...but now that my androgyny is coming clearer to me...I realize much more clearly now that it deeply offends my dignity to be middle aged and be in my situation.
I've been living in my mom's house..she has bought a newer house, I am still living there, paying no rent because I can't really afford to, since 2003, because of medical problems that I was paying for out of pocket; but mainly because I just don't make enough money.
Yes, I do work full-time, overtime when I can get it.  I really need a second job to make ends meet, and I doubt my mind or body can handle that.

I find this shameful.  Very, deeply shameful. Were I in my early 20's, that would be okay, but this sort of mommy-dependence has gone on for far too long for both of us. I'll still go to mom if I have to.  I'm not going to not economize every way I can to try and avoid having to ask for more than just a free house, which is bad enough.

And because my wife isn't willing to either find enough odd jobs to come up with the money to pay this one bill on her own, or to drive to the library six miles up the road to use the internet there, I get to spend about $75 a month? When any unneccessary spendage may cause me to have to crawl to mom and beg for a handout, given any emergency?

No.  Our initial agreement was that she paid for the phone AND the DSL, and now I'm stuck footing the bill for both...along with all the bills for both of us, and the dogs, and the cats, and food...I don't have the money.
We can get a cheaper service, she can figure out how to pay for the existing service, but after December, I won't be paying for it. I can't.
Not that I won't miss it myself.  Bye, blogspot blog, and many of my friends are in this box...

[spacial]

rite_of_inversion

I think most of us can understand your frustrations. Hope you don't mind, I can also understand how your wife feels, though I completely agre with you, contributing to the finances are a priority.

It may be a good thing for both of you to tighten your belts. You will still be able to pop in here, now and again. One thing that occurs, you could write your blogs as articles, spend ages playing with them and save to a stick. Then next time you can log on, say with a friend, or a computer shop, you just cut 'n' paste.

But your wife really needs to start looking at some of the realities.

And you taking control like this is not only sensible, it's also quite sexy. 

[28BROOK]

rite_of_inversion

My son took loans for going to technical school and lived high on the hog.  After he graduated he couldn't find work in his field of study but stayed in the city the school was in working in a GNC store. He was proud of himself that he was on his own paying his way - yeah, right.  We his parents paid his car insurance and even most of a loan he had taken through out credit union to get out from under a high credit card amount.  We bought him groceries when we visited, paid for his television - of course he got the expensive cable package because it was only a few dollars more.  Then he announced he was going to Las Vegas to find a better job. We told him the safety net would dry up and he would be on his own.  Before the recession he was in a sound job and recently purchased a home.

You need to track everything you spend and look at what you earn.  You have a computer spend a few bucks for a program like Quicken it will be a good investment.  After you track your spending you can determine what and where you can make cuts.  Then set limits on what you will spend for the month.

DSL is expensive and you can use dial up services for as little as $10 a month. It may be slower but it works as well. I wouldn't give up the land line phone it is a benefit in looking for employment.  Get rid of any cell phones the packages are too expensive especially if you are going over your minutes.  Ditch the extras on the land line phone such as Caller ID and repair services.  Generally little maintenance is needed within the house.  If you feel you need a cell phone for emergencies get a Tracfone and reserve it for mostly emergency use - cell phone use is to visit while doing other things is rude in my book and people only seem to do so because they can.

As for the car there are organizations which may be able to help you with either replacing it or find inexpensive repairs.  Got a votech school in the area which teaches automotive repair?  See if they could help you out as a learning project with their students.  If you live in a warm part of the country you could consider getting a scooter which would be cheaper to run and get you around.  You could also bicycle. 

Remember while your mom owns the house she is also paying the taxes on it.

Best of luck --Brook

[rite_of_inversion]

B/c we're in a family plan with my mom, brother, and his fiancee-the cells are actually cheaper than the land line by 15$ a month... and more importantly, my company calls me on the cell to offer me overtime-one day of overtime a month pays for the 20$ flat fee I pay for the phone, and I usually get more than that.

Dial-up is 5$ a month...but have you tried using it lately? It's pretty much useless because so many sites have become so graphics intensive.  Pointless to pay for.
My wife demanded broadband two years ago when it took her four hours just to pay for a renewal on her domain name.

Finding a better job's going to be hard-I get paid better than most guards because I work at a place where there are dead people.  This icks out a lot of guards, so I get this nice dead people bonus for working there( thank you dead people! ). Nonetheless, I'm getting my CPR recerted  this month, and looking.  It's not looking promising.  There's a lot of people out of work, even here-where the market's actually okay, so pay's pretty depressed for guards.

Once the county health system finally removes my chronic sinus infection in December, I may be able to work a second job-right now my health won't support it.
At least, though, cold weather's here-which means the utilities are suddenly a third of what they were.  We were running the A/C @ 82 and still paying $380 a month (It was over 100 outside most of the summer-and would have been hotter inside with the air off... I'm on meds that make it easier for me to, um, die from heatstroke...)
So we're over that hump.

Mainly it's the unscheduled but predictable croaking of my car-at 194,000 miles, I need to be prepared to replace it. This model car is an absolute ogre to fix, and therefore I want to get something easier for me to work on-like a small pickup truck.  But I can't afford to pay cash, nor currently could I realistically carry a note. This is lightning waiting to strike.

We're trying to grow some food...I keep dumpster-diving clothes and so plan to try selling them on Craigslist... We're collecting metal, and I'm eating more beans, less protein powder.   I found ordering the dog's heartworm preventive online will save me about $20 a month, and vaccinations for the cats cost 8$ at the feed store.

I'd like to get a roommate, but we're messy and live in the boondocks. If anyone we trust offers though, I'm up for it-but someone who'll rob us isn't okay.

I want a motorbike or motor scooter but I commute 35-ish miles one-way for one hour, via freeway, and people here drive like loonies-as in, I get tailgated doing 70 in heavy traffic.  The minimum I'd think safe to make my commute would be a 300cc maxi-scooter...and after this long commute, I can feel the savings of a 50 mpg transportation device calling me...I really want a motorbike-and, hey, motorbikes are easier to work on than autos...so when my wife does get a job, one will be a priority.
But I can't carry a note on one of those, either.