My mom told me she was sad my face is changing.

[Elijah3291]

I called my mom today and she is on my facebook, and on my facebook I take a picture each day, I am 30 days on T.  Anyway she told me that she saw my picture from last night and it made her sad to see my face changing, that I was looking more like a guy, and that I looked like my brother. (which made me very happy)  Anyway, she just told me she was sad and I felt kinda bad. because I feel so happy.

I asked her what was changing on my face, and I was telling her my skin felt rougher, and she says "you can be a guy with soft skin"

She seems to be fighting it a bit.

I was talking to her about surgery, and she told me to drag it out as long as possible, I said "why would I do that?" she said "because that will be the last girl part of you left" which, didnt resonate to well with me.  I hate these things on my chest, they are gross, ugly, and I have to bind, and when I bind its uncomfortable and I cant do anything vigurious or I will get out of breath, and that makes me feel bad.

also I talked to my dad and I was tellign him my muscles were sore because I had been wrestling/fighting with my roommate for fun, and he kept saying.. "yea thats something a guy would do"  as if I was trying to act like a guy to act like a guy, rather then just wrestle for the fun of it, like I had been.

I'm just a little frustrated, and wanted to write it all out. You can tell me what you think if you want, its not really a question.

[Nathan.]

I think most parents are sad when we change, even supportive ones.

My mum is 110% supportive and happy that I am happy but she has said it's does feel like she's loosing a daughter. I also don't think she will ever see my as a guy, well not a "real" one because of a few things she's said. She uses male pronouns 99% of the time though.

[Robert Scott]

As a parent of a transon .... it is hard to see the changes .. and you do feel a sense of loss.  My son has been on T for about 3 months now and we can see some changes.  We use male pronouns and call him by his male name but it does feel like we lost someone.  T changes you physically and emotionally.  Although for the most part you are the same person - things that would make him cry before don't phase him now - he has become less of a feminist - he was passionate about GLBT rights & now he has little interest in them.  He passes 100% of the time - he nearly did before T too.

So, it's an adjustment and rediscovery of your child. 

[cynthialee]

(takes of ->-bleeped-<- hat and puts on hat of family member of a ->-bleeped-<-)
it is hard to watch a loved one change so deeply and permanantly
You have had a lifetime looking forward to the day you saw a man in the mirror and a long time to adjust to the ramifications of transition. You mom has only had a short amount of time to adjust compared to you and lets be hoenst. You are changing fast as wild fire dude. I have seen some of your pics. We think it is awesome and root you on but mom has no point of referance.
Please cut her some slack...

[jet3]

I think it's normal man! Parents go through a grieving period. Their child isn't gone, but what they have watched you grow up a certain way. They thought you were going to grow up to be a girl and there were certain things they probably pictured for your future. So what they saw and hoped for for their "daughter" is gone. Now they have to figure out and come to terms with your future as theri son. I'm not sure how often you are able to be around them. I live 2 hours away from my parents, but I really thought the first few months of my transition were crucial. I went out of my way to see them as much as possible. This way they were able to watch me change and see how much happier and confident i was. I really think that helped my parents as well as the rest of my family deal with everything. When they can actually see you, you aren't just a picture....if that makes sense.  My mom and dad both have told me that I am way happier and they can tell I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. We've always been very close but I think them being able to go through this with me has made us closer. By them being able to see how happy I was becoming made them not be sad anymore. they were happy because they could physically see that I was happier than ever! Give them time and keep reminding them how happy you are becoming if they arent able to physically see you on a regular basis. Hopefully that will be able to help them along a little bit.

[sneakersjay]

Transition or not, all of our faces change with time as we grow and age!

Also factor in hair cuts, clothing...it all changes with time.  Yes, transition is more permanent.  Hard for parents to adjust.

2+ yrs later my mother still sees me as F.  A bearded, deep-voiced F. 


Jay

[Radar]

Sounds like it's part of the grief process- which is normal. But your mother's wrong about the "that will be the last girl part of you left" comment. There's still the damned inside plumbing.

[Jam]

Sorry if I'm sort of invading here, since this is a FTM forum. In fact I may delete this later, just would like U and other people to know my feelings about it right now.

Its good to hear what you think, dont worry about it being a FTM forum.

I think she's just grieving like everyone else said, it could be a lot worse. Try to look at it from the bright side, your on T and your parents are not 100% ok but they are not 100% against you either.

[Michael Joseph]

My mom is supportive of me me, but i still know shes sad. Everyonce in a while she'll pull out a picture of me and go "youre so beautiful with long hair!" It makes me angry, but i know it must be really hard in their position. The fact that their even trying is awesome.