thoughts on public bathrooms...

[rite_of_inversion]

humor me...(arr arr groan)

But I brought this up on another website...due to my own psychological wrinkles, I really hate lying,and not from some judeo-christian thingy, but for more personal reasons.
Anyway, so if I need to use a restroom in public I use the ladies', and thus reduce a more complex reality to a more simple anatomic one...

And I wish that restrooms didn't force that choice on me, because, well, I'd like to establish my interior reality more firmly.  It's not that traumatic, just annoying, you know...

So I brought this up on the site I go to for my mental illness issues. One cisgendered female said she'd be scared to go in a dual-gender public bathroom because of the danger of being attacked, which really surprised me.  One transman said he felt equally afraid whichever bathroom he used (T is just now starting to really affect him physically). I just want people to dry up if they whiz on the toilet seats, regardless of gender or naughty bits. Oh, and flush.

I'm not sure how cisgendered men would feel about ladies applying makeup, having a gossip, and spraying perfume in the bathroom they use...and I suspect there'd be more need for stalls, since, well, I don't think either standard gender would still want urinals in a mixed bathroom.
(We folks at Susan's, we're not standard gender, we're of extraordinary gender.  Genderlicious if you will.)

Anyway, I'm ADD-ing off into the sunset at this point (ooh, shiny!) so, thoughts? feelings?

[My Name Is Ellie]

I guess some people are just afraid of the opposite sex. There are quabbles about how Stafford Hospital still has mixed sex wards (in this day and age!  ). Personally I would want things to be as convenient as possible, not split up because of assumed dangers. I know my sister has to stand in the room while the security guards at Primark talk to shoplifting girls - to make sure nothing happens - but if the shoplifter is a boy nobody else has to be present. A female security guard looking after a male shoplifter is also fine!

I'm trans - I identify as female - but I would have trouble using either restroom purely because I know other people would have a problem with either one I chose, that is, if they saw through my look. I wouldn't mind using a dual-gender bathroom at all (my local supermarket has one, but then it only has one toilet so they have to!).

[ativan]

Mall of America has the standard Men's and Women's restrooms and there is also the gender neutral restroom (I forget what they call them). I think the main reason is for 'family' use. Parents can bring their children with them or go in with them, as need be. But, I notice that their use is by no means restricted to just that reasoning. They seem to be used as much as the other ones. As far as I know, they are only at the entrances.

It all seems right if you've ever spent some time people watching there.

[niamh]

I think the answer is for every venue or location to have family bathrooms which are just like a bathroom at home without the bath. It normally doubles as a disabled enabled facility for people in wheelchairs. Men's, women's and family. It suits three groups: people in wheelchairs, fathers and daughters/mothers and sons, and trans people. Simple solution.

However, I know from travelling on the European continent that many bathroom facilities are mixed. One side of the complex for men, one for women and just one entrance door. I never had any problem myself and never heard of everyone having a problem either.

[mistressstevie]

I am a big fan of just calling them Rest Rooms and making the all the same--no sex differentiation in the equipment.   One sink, one flushing implement, a mirror, and a door.  That way they are equally private for everybody.  Also, they are all then equally family friendly.   

Did I say this way everybody gets the same degree of privacy?  That would be best in my mind.  -mS

[Pica Pica]

My thoughts on public conveniences is: that they are place to urinate, defecate and if in a really bad state vomit. Apart from that, I tend not to think of them - except for the tyranny of people trying to charge you money to use them. Always stand up against that. - Oh, and what else is Macdonald's for but a quick piss?

[ativan]

- Oh, and what else is Macdonald's for but a quick piss?

One persons restaurant is another persons.....

[Kinkly]

Most of the time I would prefer to use the ladies rest room (they don't smell as bad).  But I think most people see me as a Guy in girls clothes. so I use the mens so as not make the ladies uncomfortable.  Most of the time there is also a lot less people in the mens most of the time.

[Christy Edwards]

When I'm out dressed, I definitely use the ladies room. So far no issues...I think it's crazy for it to be an issue anyway....

[Shang]

This is why I love going to Ozzfest---everyone uses every restroom.  I always went into the female's with my mom, but there were always guys in there.  There were also female using the men's room.  It was pretty cool.  I don't really see the big deal as long as I get a stall to pee in.

[Hermione01]

Just last week while in a restroom at a large shopping centre I visited for the first time, an employee who worked there (security I think) waited for me till I left.  I was a little suspicious as to why she was there as she didn't go into a cubicle, just stood around the wash basin watching me in nonchalant way. 

So I thought 'I'm being paranoid' so was willing to try again as I had been shopping for several hours and returned to the ladies restroom.  You guessed it.  She returned and again waited around the wash basin, this time blatantly watching my every move while I was washing my hands and used hand dryer and fixing my hair/makeup. 
She again only left after I did. 
I was extremely shocked by this and have never had it happen before.  I hate my life!! 

[spacial]

When I'm out dressed, I definitely use the ladies room. So far no issues...I think it's crazy for it to be an issue anyway....

It is. What exactly does anyone do in a Toilet that makes it necessary to separate the sexes? The issue, hen highlighted seems to be particularly associated with female toilets.

Just last week while in a restroom at a large shopping centre I visited for the first time, an employee who worked there (security I think) waited for me till I left.  I was a little suspicious as to why she was there as she didn't go into a cubicle, just stood around the wash basin watching me in nonchalant way. 

So I thought 'I'm being paranoid' so was willing to try again as I had been shopping for several hours and returned to the ladies restroom.  You guessed it.  She returned and again waited around the wash basin, this time blatantly watching my every move while I was washing my hands and used hand dryer and fixing my hair/makeup. 
She again only left after I did. 
I was extremely shocked by this and have never had it happen before.  I hate my life!! 

If I can suggest something. This is the sort of experience that will haunt you if you don't confront it.

May I suggest you write to the security company or the shopping centre manager, or even the local town council. Tell them what happened and ask for an explaination.

Tell them you are an honest person, who doesn't go into shopping centres to steal. Say that, if they believe you have been doing so then would they kindly supply the evidence.

Try to supply the date, times and a description of the guard. I would think the guard was just following orders, but in any case, you don't deserve this sort of harrissment.

[Jaimey]

well, I don't think either standard gender would still want urinals in a mixed bathroom.

That is indeed uncomfortable.  There's a gay bar in Louisville that has ONE, COMPLETELY OPEN bathroom.  It has about three stalls and then a trough for men to pee in.  Classy. 

[glendagladwitch]

I think that gender segregation is a huge problem and should be stopped.  There's no need for it.  There are plenty of unisex group restrooms in Europe, and studies show them to be safer and less likely to be used as common areas.  All new British schools are being built with unisex restrooms.

[28BROOK]

My appearance is male (the beard usually gives me away) my issue is a life of having a penis on the small side.  This has been made worse since brachytherapy treatments for prostate cancer and having diabetes.  It got to be embarrassing trying to stretch out over my shorts and pants to use a urinal then wetting my undergarments and pants.

Broad shoulders and arthritis make using the regular stalls difficult so I use the handicap stalls. Traveling across the country I found some are now equipped with a sink and hand dryer, which means no competition for the main wash area.  The down side was that some were without adequate supplies.

I have difficulty in urinating while sitting - at home I use a hand urinal - when out I mostly try to avoid sitting but when I have to that means using my hand to deflect my stream into the toilet (the times I truly wish I was female), therefore, I carry a package of flushable baby wipes  in my pocket. I can clean more of myself than with the toilet paper and clean my hands at the same time.  Generally I do a second wash before leaving but one could avoid that if they were using the wipes to sanitize their hands.

I am usually seeing yellow when arriving at the restroom and have found myself a number of times in the women's facilities.  Wal Mart had a normal layout they used for the ones in the front of the store, using only stick figures for identification.  A lot of the newer ones have a "family" restroom in the back along with the normal ones.

One morning I was seeing yellow and rushed for the handicapped stall.  After chucking my pants I heard the door on another stall slam then I heard a strong rush of urine splashing in the toilet. "Boy," I thought, "that guy must have really had to go."  I finished and flushed and headed to the sink to wash my hands.  While doing that a lady walks out of one of the stalls.  Only then did I realize there were no urinals. I laughed and said, "Damn I've done it again!"  smiled and walked out. I noticed she seemed to be smiling as well.

Our local hospital has mostly unisex bathrooms, although most one sex ones on the long stay floors only have a toilet while the main floor has a urinals and a handicap stall.

My complaint is the toilet paper dispensers - why do they insist putting them under the handicap rails almost giving you no room to sit on the toilet?  I am reminded of research done in marketing where fast food places like McDonalds designed eating areas so the lack of privacy would drive patrons to eat and leave faster - evidently this applies to restrooms as well.

[Raven]

I've used mens, womens, and unisexed bathrooms and personally never had a issue with it. Well with the mens bathrooms, I made sure it's made for only one person at a time deal for obvois reasons. First time I used the mens room I was a bit nervous cause I was hoping no one would try to come in. But nowadays I just don't give it a second though and just go in. I basically have no problem useing any sort of single stall bathroom, with the ladies room I don't care if it's multi stalled or single. All I think is I gotta go so yea whatever. I've had one exp where when I came came out of the mens room at a gas station a few guys gave me a weird look, threw em off I think more when I saw a lady waiting for the ladies room to be free and told her the mens room is free and she thanked me and went in there. Eh I'm weird I guess lol.