How common is cutting and burning?

[lilacwoman]

While I'm covered in scars from work, truck accident and TS surgeries I cannot imagine taking a blade or hot point to my skin and even when I was seriously depressed about being TS I never considered selfharming apart from simple suicide.  So is selfharm common?

[Hermione01]

Sorry, but suicide is never simple. 

[Asfsd4214]

Right before I saw this post... I saw a reflection of myself in a window, I tend to be ok with my appearance up close but always see myself negatively from a distance. This was at a distance, impulsively I took my right hand and scratched the hell out of my left arm almost immediately. Over in seconds. Bad enough that it's almost bleeding. I've scratched myself bad enough to bleed and scar before.

I can't tell you how common self harm is among TS's, but I can tell you I have a nice pile of scars from cutting myself with scissors, pins, knives, sticking myself with sharp objects, I know it doesn't really make any sense unless you have experienced it.

I suppose the only way I can think to explain it, is, you know how when you feel very frustrated or negative you feel like you just want to hit something? It's like that. The pain is like a release from the other negative emotions you're feeling.

[spacial]

lilacwoman.

The two, with respect, are completely different.

Some people cut and harm themselves for a number of reasons. Generally these are to feel, or to feel something different. Sadly, some people who self harm end up dying in the process. But they are no more suicidal than say, someone who rides a motorcycle really fast to get an adrenelin rush. Or someone who takes drugs or alcohol.

For some people, the pain in their lives, after a long time, becomes annoying. They need a release, however temporary.

Suicide is, in my experience, a consequence of a self realisation that their life has little purpose anymore.

[Asfsd4214]

lilacwoman.

The two, with respect, are completely different.

Some people cut and harm themselves for a number of reasons. Generally these are to feel, or to feel something different. Sadly, some people who self harm end up dying in the process. But they are no more suicidal than say, someone who rides a motorcycle really fast to get an adrenelin rush. Or someone who takes drugs or alcohol.

For some people, the pain in their lives, after a long time, becomes annoying. They need a release, however temporary.

Suicide is, in my experience, a consequence of a self realisation that their life has little purpose anymore.

In fact, self harm, drug use, etc, although not the most constructive coping mechanisms in the world, do help to avoid things getting to overwhelming you want to kill yourself.

Having an escape, any escape from those feelings, is invaluable.

[pebbles]

I don't think it is common I mean I did ALOT but I did so instead of other forms of self-abuse that I would have otherwise taken ie drinking/drugs other harmful coping mechanisms. I think that although only a tiny fraction actually adopt self harm as out drug of choice but I reckon the majority of us engaged in other highly self-destructive coping mechanisms.

It's odd how I started it was kinda instinctive I was given my first razor and I realized it provided me more than just temporary relief from facial hair I became fascinated with the blades sharpness whenever I was depressed at first it was just slicing through sheets of paper before I desired to turn it on myself white hot pain that just washed away the longing ache I felt in myself leaving a period of calm. Rituals developed and became more frequent and elaborate as I felt worse and worse about myself Most of the ritual had purpose to evade discovery but alot of it was highly symbolic to me aswell.
After awhile I noticed I was REALLY screwing my body up and whether I ought to get help to stop. but I couldn't stop it was the only thing I had that took the ache away. Then I realized my body was an uncontrollable piece of crap and if its allowed to do whatever and torture me I'm equally allowed to do whatever I want to it, The fact that I hid it so well worked against me in terms of recovery as I got the idea that nobody cared what happened to me as what I was doing was unsustainable I didn't see any point as I thought I was going to die soon anyway.

[Dana Lane]

With all the pain we go through just transitioning (laser, electrolysis, etc) I would think that would suffice! But seriously, I have seen one person on my Facebook who used to do that a lot. I guess you can't understand it unless you are in that position. I would never hurt myself like that on purpose outside of eating really really hot foods. I go to the extreme in the heat department and find it exhilarating. I tried to get my FB friend to try hurting herself with peppers instead but she never tried it. I wonder if that could take the place of cutting. And peppers being so good for you it would be a healthy type of 'abuse'. Lowers cholesterol, thins blood, cures stomach ailments and on and on.

[Asfsd4214]

With all the pain we go through just transitioning (laser, electrolysis, etc) I would think that would suffice! But seriously, I have seen one person on my Facebook who used to do that a lot. I guess you can't understand it unless you are in that position. I would never hurt myself like that on purpose outside of eating really really hot foods. I go to the extreme in the heat department and find it exhilarating. I tried to get my FB friend to try hurting herself with peppers instead but she never tried it. I wonder if that could take the place of cutting. And peppers being so good for you it would be a healthy type of 'abuse'. Lowers cholesterol, thins blood, cures stomach ailments and on and on.

It's not about just any pain. It's not even about pain generally. Cutting does hurt... but in my experience, it's waaay harder to imagine doing it when you're feeling ok than when you're feeling really down. When I feel really down, cutting doesn't even hurt very much. It does a little, but not much more than a bad scratch. It's more about the distraction I guess than the pain.

I don't think peppers would work for me, I've heard all those alternative suggestions, most of them I don't think would work, for me at least.

It's only certain kinds of pain and only when you're feeling really down. And I think seeing yourself bleeding (again, can only speak for myself) plays a big role in its effectiveness.

Truthfully, I don't think I can convey how cutting works psychologically. Except to say that when I cut, whatever I'm feeling at the time largely disappears. And you just feel sort of numb, relaxed. Why it works I dunno, supposedly it releases endorphins.

[Dana Lane]

It's not about just any pain. It's not even about pain generally. Cutting does hurt... but in my experience, it's waaay harder to imagine doing it when you're feeling ok than when you're feeling really down. When I feel really down, cutting doesn't even hurt very much. It does a little, but not much more than a bad scratch. It's more about the distraction I guess than the pain.

I don't think peppers would work for me, I've heard all those alternative suggestions, most of them I don't think would work, for me at least.

It's only certain kinds of pain and only when you're feeling really down. And I think seeing yourself bleeding (again, can only speak for myself) plays a big role in its effectiveness.

Truthfully, I don't think I can convey how cutting works psychologically. Except to say that when I cut, whatever I'm feeling at the time largely disappears. And you just feel sort of numb, relaxed. Why it works I dunno, supposedly it releases endorphins.

Give it a shot one day when you feel like cutting. Hot Peppers release endorphins as well. The hotter the higher you get.   It sure doesn't hurt to try! Well, maybe a little hurt for your tongue!

If you try it I highly recommend Mad Dog's 357 Collector's Edition hot sauce. It is HOT! Just putting a very tiny bit on the end of a toothpick would make you wish you didn't. Can mix just the smallest drop of it into something you can mix. Can't use directly on food.
http://www.cosmicchile.com/site/357-mad-dog-collector-s.html

[spacial]

I've never cut myself, but have, in the past, used other forms of abuse, drugs, alcohol. I don't use these anymore simply because they began bringing on feelings that were a more extreme version of what I was trying to avoid.

It has to also be said that, once I stopped using drugs and alcohol, I had a lot more money and an ulcer. Of all the various methods, I suggest drugs and alcohol are the worst.

Now I have a number of different ways I use when I can't push the feelings out. My computer takes up a lot of concentration, especially some of the online games. My allotment is surprisingly good, it's kinda a different world from the city where I live and even though I don't achieve a lot, I do have several very deep holes. I occasionally do things to my house. I've taken down walls then rebuilt them. Expensive and not really recommended.

Cutting is dramatic and can cause a lot of concern for others. But those that do cut generally are quite careful. As long as they remember to wash after.

Burning is a bit more of a problem. If you burn too deep, you get past pain. But what you've really done is burn down to very deep layers where the nerves are destroyed. This is usally called 3rd degree burns and can turn gangrenous.

Some get relief from therapy. This is great for them. My own experience is that these people make records which are later taken out of context, only adding to your problems.

[Fie]

It is common, especialy in the people you would least exspect, however I find that they are almost always GLBT. Most of my friends are GLBT and I can say that about 90% of them have self inflicted scars. I myself have a few, but I cut, not completlty out of depression (and not at all anymore) but in order to remember things. I have my 'real' name written on my thigh so I would never forget the moment I realized what my real name was. I have 4 cuts on my shoulder, 1 for each heartache i've had and 1 to remember how hard I fell when I was crushing on this one girl, this scar is to remind me to never allow myself to become that depressed again.

The first time I did it, I became so addicted to the feeling that I actually ended up frightening myself and I had to fight the addiction for three days (and thats just after cutting myself once.)
The addiction that I experianced really allowed me to understand how people who get caught up in it really can't help it by that point. It's a very addictive feeling but at the same time, I happily feel that I will never cut myself again.

And to adress some things that have come up in this thread,
It isn't always about the pain. Yes some people will cut themselves in order to force themselves to feel pain and 'feel alive."However ussually, they cut because for the feeling on satsfaction and the numbing effect cutting has. It seems to make your brain tingle and you get the most calm sensation. If it was just for the pain we could resolve cutting by getting everyone a BDSM partner x) But it's not, it's about the satisfaction. I'm not lying when I compare the addictive effects to that of say, smoking. It feels good, and the feeling of cutting into yourself feels really good. For most people, it should be understood, that cutting is no longer a thought out choice, it's a need to satisfy the addiction.

[pebbles]

Give it a shot one day when you feel like cutting. Hot Peppers release endorphins as well. The hotter the higher you get.   It sure doesn't hurt to try! Well, maybe a little hurt for your tongue!

It's not the same when friends did know about my cutting they suggested a number of techniques

snap a rubber band on my arm or hold and ice cube it's about the sensation and knowledge of injuring yourself not just the pain... seeing the blood is a big part of it knowing you'd made it real to yourself. it's very hard to explain when you feel fine... but just pain without injury it wasn't fulfilling enough to be worth it. Other-times just taking items I could hurt myself away didn't help much as I started biting my hands and nails and also scratching my skin clean off. the temptation was also there to strike solid objects or slam your arm into a door.

The only thing I found enabled me to stop changing my mindset and working towards an realizing a future I wanted to live in and seeing my life as something worth fighting for, and I had to do that by living for myself in a way that honored all of my feelings and not just in fear of what others wanted me or my body to be. before although I went through the motions of living I was a looser just filling the days with dreams and things to do before I finally died.
I found It's not that hard to get better or recover from it if you WANT to get better the temptation is there on some dark days but you will find you have a reason to resist now. Now I don't want to die I want to fight now and fix my body and life smile alot and live a long time.

[Nathan.]

For me cutting was not only a coping mechanism but a punishment so none of the other techniques worked. Causing myself pain but not leaving a mark did help but nowhere near as much as scarring myself did, I needed the scars.

[Raven]

Cutting for me always brought me relief from whatever I was depressed about or when I was suicidal. I had consumed a chemical before when I tried to end my life some years ago and I use to pop pills and use drugs. But to me poping pills and doing drugs were nothing but means of escaping reality, to espace the reality of what pain I was feeling, self hatred, my life. But in reality where did all that get, nowhere but in a mental hospital. Nowadays when I get depressed or whatever I just try to meditate and listen to music. True last time I got bad I wanted to end my life but somehow I hanged on. But to answer your question, Idk how common it is, but let me ask you this, in the end is self harm really worth it? I can't tell you how many ppl I've helped with their depression and suicidal thoughts and once I helped a friend get off drugs. Because I feel with my exps I can use it to help others. The way I look at it self harm, drugs and alcohol brings nothing but temp relief and just makes your pain worse.

[lilacwoman]

Sorry, but suicide is never simple. 

for me at 14 swallowing too many asprins seemed a simple suicide method...unfortunately I just threw them all up.
I took them because two days previously the family doctor had practically run out of the house to get away rather than discuss my feeling of not being a male same as my brothers...so logically i thought that if the doctor thought i was untreatable i was better off dead...now I'm finding the medics are throwing that early suicide attempt back in my face to delay my srs.

[Renate]

I'm the sort who gets despondent over a paper cut, so cutting is not for me.

I think cutting and burning is much more prevalent in the general community than most people know.
It seems that most try to hide the evidence but some seem to flaunt it.

I feel sorry for all that cut or burn but I'm not arrogant enough to think that there is an easy fix.
Please try though.

[spacial]

for me at 14 swallowing too many asprins seemed a simple suicide method...unfortunately I just threw them all up.
I took them because two days previously the family doctor had practically run out of the house to get away rather than discuss my feeling of not being a male same as my brothers...so logically i thought that if the doctor thought i was untreatable i was better off dead...now I'm finding the medics are throwing that early suicide attempt back in my face to delay my srs.

Really sorry to hear that you landed with such an unprofessional Dr.

Hopefully things are better now.

[long.897]

It's so hard to convey to someone who hasn't had the experience, but there really are moments during which I just can't stand the emotional deadness anymore, and I need to feel something.  Emotions may not happen, but pain can temporarily sate the emptiness, and I've self harmed in the past because it was the lesser of all evils.  I tried burning once, but it wasn't for me; the scabbing and eventual scar was too obvious, and this was a very private act.  The best method I found was to make a small cut with a paring knife, and to dig around beneath the skin with something small and sturdy; a sewing needle or heavy gauge syringe (iirc I had a box of 12s) worked best, but a paperclip would do in a pinch. 

I definitely don't recommend that anyone try this; if you want to hurt yourself, see a therapist, or call 911 immediately.