How do you...?

[utouto]

Deal with a situation where several people are using "she" constantly around you. And by constantly, I mean at least 15 times in 5 minutes. D:

So, During P.E. my class was playing volleyball. I was on the team with 2 or 3 guys who weren't following the rules so they could win. They, and two people on the other team got into an argument about who was supposed to be serving. I served last, so of course, I was mentioned more than just once.
They were yelling and all I picked up on was "SHE just..." "wasn't it HER...." "but SHE served..." I was standing there trying so hard not to yell at them and run away... I just COULDN'T STAND being there while they repeatedly used feminine pronouns. They don't know that I'm trans, but apparently I don't pass well to them. And others these past 2 days.

And to add to that, There was a college fair at my school last night...Women in Engineering was ALWAYS brought up in my conversations with different representatives (I want to major in Nuclear Engineering).

Yeah, end of rant.... :\

This whole day I've been really paranoid about how I look. I just want to be seen as a guy. I feel like I should correct them when they assume I'm a female, but I feel like it's rude to just cut off a conversation, and I don't want them to feel embarrassed about it. How do you do something like that politely?

[SnailPace]

The only thing I could think would be to talk to them politely after class?

I'm kind of having a variation of this problem.  Most of my friends know I'm trans but don't really understand.  They see it as kind of a "switch".  Like, once I get "the sex change" then they start to use make pronouns.  It's hard because I don't pass at all to them so they seem to think it would be silly to use male pronouns now.  Sometimes I ask anyways though.

Most of the time I don't hear people refer to me in pronouns.  The only time is when they talk to my son in front of me.  It's all in baby talk, "Oh, look at mommy! She's so nice, don't you love her?~"  It would seem rude of me to interject when they're basically complimenting me, no?

[M.Grimm]

I know it feels awful to be subjected to this. However, if people don't realize they're making the wrong assumption, nothing will change. You do need to stand up for yourself, though, and gently correct people.

These days, if someone refers to me as she/her, I just say in a friendly and polite way, "It's 'him', actually, I'm a guy." Generally they apologize and we move on. I had someone in class refer to me as 'her' and I just spoke up and corrected him, which did make the class go awkwardly silent, but then he apologized to me.

I know it's daunting but you need to control your situation, you know?

[Tyler90210]

Deal with a situation where several people are using "she" constantly around you. And by constantly, I mean at least 15 times in 5 minutes. D:

So, During P.E. my class was playing volleyball. I was on the team with 2 or 3 guys who weren't following the rules so they could win. They, and two people on the other team got into an argument about who was supposed to be serving. I served last, so of course, I was mentioned more than just once.
They were yelling and all I picked up on was "SHE just..." "wasn't it HER...." "but SHE served..." I was standing there trying so hard not to yell at them and run away... I just COULDN'T STAND being there while they repeatedly used feminine pronouns. They don't know that I'm trans, but apparently I don't pass well to them. And others these past 2 days.

And to add to that, There was a college fair at my school last night...Women in Engineering was ALWAYS brought up in my conversations with different representatives (I want to major in Nuclear Engineering).

Yeah, end of rant.... :\

This whole day I've been really paranoid about how I look. I just want to be seen as a guy. I feel like I should correct them when they assume I'm a female, but I feel like it's rude to just cut off a conversation, and I don't want them to feel embarrassed about it. How do you do something like that politely?

First off sorry to here about you having to get "she'd" dude.  That ALWAYS sucks. 

If  you don't mind me asking, man, what do you think hinders your passing most?  Clothes, voice, body?  If it's clothes I might be able to help.  I'm just really into fashion and LOVE making outfits for people.  Sorry gay guy over here, lol.

As for correcting them, I'd say just do it privately. 

But don't worry though dude, once you get on T it will all be a mute point. 

[Silver]

Aw man I know how you feel. I've been passing since I cut my hair short, you know? I get hes from all of my family that I see and my friends and teachers and school staff and etc. But then, somehow I don't pass to my classmates. I'm sitting there, thinking I'm passing so well and then I get she'd and the response is usually "what, who? Me?" And then I must correct, "I'm a guy." and they say "oh" and forget the next day.



Eh what a pain, the horrors of not passing.

I should correct them when they assume I'm a female, but I feel like it's rude to just cut off a conversation, and I don't want them to feel embarrassed about it. How do you do something like that politely?

I would think it's more rude that they are calling you by female pronouns, bioguys don't think it's rude to correct people when they are mistaken for women in the rare cases that it does happen. Just at the end, slip in a little "by the way, I'm male." And possibly laugh it off. Probably more embarrassing for you than them I'd think.

[utouto]

If  you don't mind me asking, man, what do you think hinders your passing most?

My FACE. I feel like my eyes are very "doe-like" and the fat on my cheeks makes me look feminine when I smile. AND THE HANDS. I have very small hands.
I've been He'd and Sir'd many other times... then things like this happen.

[utouto]

I know it feels awful to be subjected to this. However, if people don't realize they're making the wrong assumption, nothing will change. You do need to stand up for yourself, though, and gently correct people.

This is what I tell myself when it happens. Every time. But then I think, "but, this conversation is going so well!" or "It's not the right time at the moment" and don't end up mentioning it.

I would think it's more rude that they are calling you by female pronouns, bioguys don't think it's rude to correct people when they are mistaken for women in the rare cases that it does happen. Just at the end, slip in a little "by the way, I'm male." And possibly laugh it off. Probably more embarrassing for you than them I'd think.

I'll try to think of this when it happens again. Thanks.

[Carson]

Personally I think waiting and talking to them after class is a really feminine reaction. Do you think that if any of them were mistaken as female they would wait around to correct someone or care if the other person was embarrassed? Definitely not. They would interrupt the conversation of a life time and be like "WTF dude are you serious?".

[Silver]

Eh well in my defense, he said college people and I am imagining him interrupting a speech by them. At the end of the speech, not the whole conversation lol.