Corrupt-A-Wish

[Fencesitter]

Peace breaks out, but then people in the Middle East start arguing about who has the most peaceful country.

U made my day! 

[Lee]

They speed through the construction process, leaving a weakened floor in the bathroom.  You fall through onto your bosses desk the first time you sit on the toilet.

I wish that all of my pharmacy school applications will come back as acceptance letters.

[Dusty]

granted, but then you can't choose which school to go to, and wind up not choosing until the very last minute.

I wish my girlfriend liked Halloween more.

[Lee]

She develops a debilitating addiction to candy corn.

I wish I could stay inside and watch Eureka all day.

[justmeinoz]

You can, but the DVD has a scratch through the last 5 minutes.

I wish underwire bras were more comfortable.

[Janet_Girl]

Granted All underwire bras are now comfortable.  But you become allergic to the underwire material.

I wish I could find a decent bra that would give me cleavage.

[Fencesitter]

Granted. But new-born Christians come to power and showing cleavage in public or to anyone not being your husband is not allowed any more.
I wish having watched The Ring (Japanese original) again on Helloween wouldn't interfere with my sleeping habits.

[Lee]

While sleeping comfortably a creepy girl crawls out and attacks you.

I wish I had a flat chest and washboard abs.

[justmeinoz]

You have a flat chest and washboard abs - to go with your non-existent backside and water wing arms.

I wish petrol was 25 cents a litre.

[Dusty]

granted, but it doesn't last as long as it should.

i wish internet service was reliable.

[Lee]

It is, but it's unavailable in your area.

I wish my Spanish paper would write itself.

[V M]

Granted... Your Spanish paper writes itself... In Russian

I wish I could get all my guitars professionally repaired

[Lee]

They are repaired by professional drywall hangers.

I wish I had a maid.

[justmeinoz]

You have a maid.  She is then deported as an illegal immigrant, and you are charged with breaking the labour laws by underpaying her.

I wish tights wouldn't run.

[glendagladwitch]

Granted. But the material is now so strong that it can stop bullets.  Consequently, all tights have been requisitioned for use by the military, and it is illegal for civilians to own or possess tights.

I wish the government had bailed out homeowners instead of banks.

[V M]

Granted... The government gives homeowners large bail out checks... But now there are no banks to cash them at and you crash while riding your broom around to find one

I wish the holiday seasons didn't depress the stuff out of me

[April Dawne]

Granted, only now you are depressed the rest of the year instead....

I wish I could be as pretty as Brittany Murphy was

[justmeinoz]

You mean Brittany Murphy who lives round the corner and won the "Ugliest Woman In Australia 2010" contest , don"t you? Zap!!

I wish my cat wouldn't scratch the carpet to pieces.

[rexgsd]

Granted, but now he scratches the curtains, couch, and all the sheets on your bed to pieces.

I wish i could get a good winter beater car for free

[A]

[Ew, and here I thought we French gamers were original with that game.]

Granted. Go to the car store closest to your home to be offered an old Lada car with mechanical arms that end with boxing gloves for hitting snow banks repeatedly.

I wish I could resist sugar's appeal.