Corrupt-A-Wish

[EmmaMcAllister]

Granted, but it's an inflatable kiddie pool with a pinhole leak you can't seem to find.

I wish I lived in Montreal.

[King Malachite]

Granted but a big storm came just as you moved in and destroyed everything in it's path making it all rubble.


I wish I had a shoelace

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.
Unfortunately it came undone without you noticing and you tripped over it, falling on your head and losing your memory. You then weren't able to remember your wish and bought slip on shoes

I wish I was going on a picnic this weekend

[King Malachite]

Granted but as soon as you get your picnic ready it pours down raining hard but to your luck it's raining oysters.

I wish I had duct tape.

[Catherine Sarah]

YUMMMMM!!!

Best time to go to the beach, is when it's raining. Everyone packs up and goes home. I have absolutely no idea why. You get wet when you go in the water at the beach, what's the problem with the rain?

Granted.
You receive that much duct tape (the fairies were in a good mood) that you are inundated with it. Being a hot and summery day the glue holding the duct tape starts to melt, slowing embalming you in this enormous sea of duct tape. By the time the authorities can attempt to rescue you, it's all too late. The temperature dropped and the duct tape congealed into a solid mass.

I wish I was a famous actor

[King Malachite]

Granted.  However every movie and tv show you are in had low ratings and you were deemed a horrible actor.

I wish I had a loaded shotgun.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.

This loaded shotgun was a family heirloom, and was held with high esteem within the local community. Even to the extent one day each year the local community would pronounce a special holiday to venerate this shot gun.

As the day drew near you took the loaded shot gun down to polish and get it ready for the mighty occasion. (Even the Pope would leave Rome for this event) In the process of cleaning it, the safety catch accidentally disengaged. Not noticing it when you were about to return the shotgun to its glass case, your hand slipped on the highly polished barrel. Fumbling to catch it you accidentally pulled the trigger, discharging both barrels into the china cabinet, totally destroying Auntie Gertrude's Royal Doulton china dinner set worth 800 million trillion dollars.

I wish (with what I know today) I was a little boy again.                             





(god how things would be different today

[King Malachite]

Granted but you were attacked by a wolf so you were scared for life afterwards.

I wish I wasn't tired.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.
And this wish came with special powers that gave you the ability to grant wishes to everyone in the world, and do so much good. The corrupt part of the wish is about to commence, so go get your popcorn now, I'll wait ...........

Unfortunately, sleep deprivation caused you to die all too young. How must of a miserable sod are you?       If you'd just gone to bed earlier, YOU could have saved the world.

I wish I was a hairpin

[King Malachite]

Granted but someone broke you in half and ran over it with a truck so you are never used.

I wish I had sweet potato pie.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.

And what a sweet potato pie it was. End of wish.

[Catherine Sarah]

Now for the evil, mean, nasty and corrupt part of the wish.

After eating it, the sweet potato reacted with your digestive juices, together with the pastry and created an enormous balloon inside you. It became sooooooo big you floated skyward without any control whatsoever. You were at the mercy of the wind.

You floated so high you entered commercial airspace, were duly noted on radar and as you didn't have a transponder to squawk your identification, the USAF were scrambled immediately thinking you were a terrorist attack. The pilot who saw you couldn't believe her eyes, you looked sooooo gorgeous, but orders are orders. She locked on you, her target and deployed the missiles in order to avert a tragedy. You unfortunatelywere blown to smithereens at 38,000 feet.

The silver lining to this evil corruptness is, your remains settled in a paddock and was used as good fertilizer.

I wish I was genius

[King Malachite]

Granted but you have memory loss so you don't remember anything at all.

I wish I was beach sand.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hummmmmm ...............................      Granted

However failing to hear the local weather forecast and the impending doom of yet another Katrina style hurricane/ typhoon, you are quickly sucked up into the hurricanes vortex. The heat is soooo immense that you are immediately transformed in from of your own eyes (if sand had eyes) into the largest sheet of glass EVER known to mankind.

Regrettable as the storm lost its veracity, you fell to earth shattering into thousands of tons of sand, upon some unsuspecting farmers paddock. Sorry. due to the strike at Fairfax's paper, there is No sliver lining OR moral to this wish. Stay tuned, same time same station next week for an update


I wish I was a black hole

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are now a black hole that is stuffed with used toilet paper and wastes from tourists in the public bathrooms.

I wish I had a sand dollar.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted         (I think. As fairy feverishly looks up Wiki leaks looking for definition of sand dollar.       I think I've found it)

Yes! Absolutely granted.

With the latest news from the stock market indicating the Aussie dollar has taken over world currency, including Greece's debt, but not the Italian's. The price of sand dollars falls to an all time low. So low in fact that anyone holding sand dollars has to pay the Aussie Govt. a zillion dollars every year, for eternity. You now declare yourself bankrupt and fly to Majorca to live a life of seclusion.

I wish i was Mary Poppins

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You just happen to be a person named Mary Poppins and not the actual famous Mary Poppins.

I wish I had a water gun.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.

With the GFC and Climate Change in full swing, remembering that Greece has gone bust, hotly persued by Italy (Not really sure why they get a mention. We may find out later) all the water drys up and even if there was money available, you still couldn't afford to buy water that wasn't for sale. So the joy and delight of this little ditti is you have your water pistol, but no water.

The silver lining in this story is, if you said yes to NPTP topic, drinks Coca cola, you could put that in the pistol and shoot everyone with Cola. Well times are tough. Necessity is the mother of invention


I wish ............................... *Catherine hummmmmmmming again*  Nope !

I wish ......................... * Catherine behave yourself. Please. Stop thinking naughty thoughts*

I wish I was Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Oz

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are now Julia Gillard.  You celebrate by going sailing on a boat but you wind up stranded and wrecked on an island and everyone eventually forgot about you.

I wish I had a great career.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.

And when you look deeply into the reasons you now have that great career, you'll find the corruptness. And it wasn't on your behalf, just let it be known that good DOES triumph over        Got cha!!

I wish I was a tragedienne