Corrupt-A-Wish

[JamiePhsx42]

Granted but now you've become an office drone.

I wish that pigs could fly.

[ChiGirl]

Granted, but now they ALL do.  All the time. And they're everywhere. Pig poop falling from the sky at any given moment. 

I wish my dog would stop barking at 4am.

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[traci_k]

Granted: Your dog now sleeps all night being too tired from barking at folks from Westboro Baptist Church protesting outside your home all day.

I wish I lived in Hawaii.

[Matthew]

Granted: You've immediately moved to Hawaii, but seeing as it was with no notice, none of your belongings are with you. Good luck 


I wish for an endless supply of sushi

[traci_k]

Granted: but they're all made from an endless supply of blowfish and therefore deadly poisonous.

I wish I had some clothes to wear in Hawaii

[rachel89]

Granted, but its from the luggage of someone who was visiting Alaska.

I want laser hair removal.

[ChiGirl]

Granted, but they use the laser Dr.  No used to try and kill James Bond.

I wish I could turn invisible.

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[Kova V]

Granted but while you're invisible to others in the outside world, everyone is invisible to you.

I wish I could meet new friends!!

[Jera]

Granted, but you believe when they tell you not to be alarmed that nobody else can see or hear them.

I wish that renting an apartment wasn't so expensive.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. The next apartment you rented, the landlord paid you. Just as well, because the tissue paper walls would always get wet when it rained.

I wish traveling to the States wasn't sooooooo long (26 hours)

[Matthew]

Granted: it's no longer 26 hours, but now it's 52 hours

I wish that I wasn't sat in a history exam right now 

[Devlyn]

Granted. The chairs are gone and now you're standing in a history exam.

I wish it were lunchtime.

[Rejennyrated]

Granted it is now lunchtime but an army of cats has invaded your canteen and stolen all the food.

I wish I could lose about 15 kilos of weight and be 30 years younger.

[Sebby Michelango]

Granted it is now lunchtime but an army of cats has invaded your canteen and stolen all the food.

I wish I could lose about 15 kilos of weight and be 30 years younger.

Granted. You would lose 15 KG and be 30 years younger. But you would be so small, no clothes in the world would fit you.

I wish I could get all my guy parts that I was supposed to have - Become a cis-guy

[KyleEdric]

I wish I could get all my guy parts that I was supposed to have - Become a cis-guy

Granted! Your pecs are now on your back, penis on your ankle and, naturally, balls under your armpit; just like a cis guy!

I wish I could write a best selling novel.

[soaringPhoenix]

Wish granted! But your novel is about a topic that you are against, and a lot of bad people read it. It gets banned in your country.

I wish my mum could lose some weight so she can live with me longer.


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[rachel89]

Granted, but unfortunately, someones escaped pet tiger has now gained weight...
I wish I had a job.

[KyleEdric]

Granted. The pay is superb, but it's as Donald Trump's personal butt kisser.

I wish my cough would go away, already.

[V M]

Granted, your cough goes away but so does your voice never to return and all you can do is grunt and point and you go mad and are institutionalized


I wish I felt like my life still had purpose and reason

[Devlyn]

Big hug! Granted. Your life has more purpose and reason than most of us could wish for. I mean that.

I wish I had a subscription to the Ice Cream of The Month club.