Corrupt-A-Wish

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted. But someone breaks in your room, and does horrible things to you [figure that one out yourself ].

Tickle torture!

Granted but on your return trip you accidently bring back an extinct species of bacteria that wipes out all humanity.

I wish I could telepathically look through the eyes of someone else, so I could find my damn cat! >.>

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Granted.
No, no one wants to touch you.
No one would think about using you.
A neglected toilet with no purpose in life.

Even >-bleeped-<faced prostitutes rather gulp down their own puke than purge themselves into you.



...
I wish I had an unlimited amount of food.

[Jayr]

Granted. But you're a tree in a dog park. You get pissed on all day. And your branches are broken off and used for fetch.

I wish I was done with this studying.

Ps. She has unlimited amounts of food, therefore the raccoons can't eat all of it.

[Lily]

Granted, and by "other people's" they mean everyone except yours.

I wish the moon was a giant jelly donut.

[Jasper]

Granted. But an asteroid hits it and you drown in the gooey jelly.

I wish my car was an autobot.

[Dante]

Granted. It randomly transforms at the worst possible moments, smashing tunnels, buildings, other cars, and the occasional fire hydrant.

I wish I had a car.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Granted.
You're now the owner of the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile :3



I wish mosquitos could be moved to another planet.

[Dante]

Granted. All the mosquitoes are rounded up and sent to another planet. However, we don't want them to die out, so we decide to send a team of humans along to act as a food source for them. You are the first one picked. Have fun in space!

I wish I could bring books to life.

[V M]

Granted... But you read murder mysteries and the main suspect kills you and the case is never solved

I wish I had an Oscar Mayer Weinermobile 

[Lee]

Granted, but the company accidentally gives you the Anthony Weinermobile.  You quickly realize it's not nearly as smooth a ride.

I wish my cat would move off my bed so I could put the sheets on without feeling bad about waking her.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Granted. She poofs on top of your roof.

I wish I had to never go to sleep.

[Fighter]

Granted. You now can never sleep, but you still NEED sleep. In other words, you still get tired and drowsy and cranky, but you can never actually sleep.

I wish my co-worker would sell me his ps3 for under $50.

[JenJen2011]

Granted. But while you fall to the floor to do a split, you break your legs off.

I wish I was a millionaire.

[Akashiya Moka]

Granted.  Due to faulty design your house burns down and your entire family dies in the fire; you collect a million dollar settlement but your attorney's outrageous fees eat up most of the profit.


~I wish I had an incorruptible wish that cannot be corrupted by any previous*, concurrent, or subsequent wishes in this universe or in any other.

*Just to rule out time travel (and multiverses).

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Granted.
You get banned from susans.
THIS THREAD SHALL LIVE!

I wish I had more food to eat.
xD im so fat.

[Akashiya Moka]

Granted.
You get banned from susans.

~Totally worth it.

I wish I had more food to eat.
xD im so fat.

Granted. You are stranded on an island with plenty of coconuts...and only !@#$%& coconuts! Also, there are non-human primates on said island that perceive you as an attractive simian female.... and it is mating season.

I wish I could turn into a cat at will! =^.^=

[Lily]

Granted, you can now turn into a saber tooth tiger but every time you do, thousands of scientists converge on your location to try to capture you for study.

I wish swiss cheese had fewer holes.

[Fighter]

Granted. All swiss cheese now has just one giant hole in it.

I wish my acne would stop...

[Dante]

Granted, your acne is purged. However, you begin to develop unsightly warts. And somehow, you seem to have been transported to Salem during the witch trials...

I wish I could remember how to sing this Welsh song!

[Fighter]

Granted. You learn how to sing that one Welsh song you were thinking of, but you've learned it so well that you forgot how to say any words besides the ones in the song.

I wish I was a knight! Huzzah!