Corrupt-A-Wish

[PrincessKnight]

Granted, but their wonky schedules mean that you still can't catch one on time.

I wish I had something to fix my aching body.

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You have a bottle of Bayer rub to put over your sore body.  Too bad it's empty.

I wish I was a stripper pole.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. You're made out of jello and fall apart.

I wish I could dance.

[King Malachite]

Granted but you can only dance in your sleep.

I wish I was a fish swimming in Puerto Rico with a school of fish.

[PrincessKnight]

Granted, but your school is full of delinquents who try to get high by seeing who can stay out of water the longest. You stay out too long, get turned into a taco, and are really quite tasty.

I wish I didn't have to do homework.

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You have no more homework but your tests become harder.

I wish I was a shard of glass.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. Unfortunately you ended up on a beack, where the wave action eroded you back to the quartz from which you came.

I wish I was a Rock Star

[PrincessKnight]

Granted, but your fame and fortune leads to drugs, and you die at the age of 27.

I wish I knew what I want to eat for dinner.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. Eventually you chose a Porterhouse steak with mushroom sauce. Regrettably the mushrooms were of the poisonous variety and you died a slow agonising death.

I wish I was a Princess in a castle waiting for my Prince Charming to resue me

[King Malachite]

Granted.  Prince Charming has been eaten by the fire-breathing dragon that was in his path so you will be waiting forever. 

I wish I could see a gender therapist.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. And after only 3 months accelerated treatment, you received approval for all your transition needs, won Lotto which financed everything for you. Regrettable you had to be teleported to the moon, as he was the only therapist available on short notice. The good news was that you lived happily ever after

I wish I was an Eskimo

[King Malachite]

(That had to be the best corrupted wish ever.    )

Granted.  You was an Eskimo....until the nice polar bear came by and decided he needed a snack.

I wish I had a beard.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted. Regrettably you had an adverse reaction to some of your recent forays into cooking, causing a rapid hormonal imbalance. Your 'T' levels shot through the roof, reacting to form DHT, causing an instant shedding of your beard. Your beard immediately feel to the floor and was hastely gathered up by the mice at your feet, wisked away and turned into wigs for the laboratory mice on a sex change programme.

I wish I could write trash

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You write great trash but someone plagerizes your work and you get no credit for any of your work.

I wish I had some bubblegum.

[Angelique1994]

granted. you get ur gum but its so old and so hard that it breaks ur teeth lol.

i wish i was the prettiest girl alive

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are the last person alive so there's no one else to compare yourself too.

I wish I had some grapefruit soda.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.   Regrettably there was a production error in the batch of soda you bought. The seeds were not filtered out. In the bottle you bought, the seeds took root, and grew into an enormous fruitless  grapefruit tree, absorbing all the remaining fluid. So you never got to drink it.  The manufacturer refused you compensation, sighting your story to be soooooo unbelievably false.

Fortunately living in South Australia, as you do, next door to Cindy, the GodMother, you are able to retrieve a 5 cent refund on the glass bottle.

I wish I was a Martian

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are now a voice actress for a Martian in a video game that got bad reviews and didn't sell too well.

I wish I was a bucket of sand.

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted.   Fortunately you ended up near the rock pool at the local beach. Children, being children, one child found you and immediately did what all kids do at the beach. Eat sand in vast quantities. The internal heat of the childs body slowly turned you into a looking glass, which you were for eternity, able to look at the image of the gorgeous man you became from eating that specially wished for sand.

As for the sand that wasn't eaten, I hear you ask? That was dumped by a Katrina style typhoon that came in after the kids had left the beach and it spead your remains to the 4 winds. In fact I think some ended up on Avoca Beach. Let go down and check out to see if some of you is still there. Won't be long. .......... 1 grain of sand, 2 grains of sand, 3 grains of sand, 4 grains of sand ...... No! Not so far, but there's a few more still to count.

I wish I was gnome

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are the prettiest gnome sitting in the yard when the owner's dog knocked you over and shattered you to pieces.  Luckily though you were able to be pieced back together but you never looked the same as the glue and duct tape was visible.


I wish I was a tire for a truck.