This transexuals view of Internet transexual group??

[brina]

Hiee,

  When I first began my transition I found that I was looking for information and I found it on forums dealing with transexuals. The information available had to be THOURGHLY examined as much of it concerning Hormones was down right dangerous. Its also been my experience that many of these area's are loaded with everyone from the transgender spectrum and not solely transexuals. In the begining my need(s) probably ran about 90 to 100% for information. As I sit here today I realize that my needs have dropped to like maybe 5 to 10%. Mostly I am only interested now in what information I may gather about vagiaoplasy and in particular my surgeon of choice. Origianlly I had a very positive outlook on what transexuals are, but that is no longer the case.

Byee,
  Brina

[Kate]

Origianlly I had a very positive outlook on what transexuals are, but that is no longer the case.

I'm not sure I understand why you have a negative view on what we "are" now? Could you explain more?

I ask for information too, but the real reason I come here is because I think the people here are some of most beautiful souls I have ever met. I rarely make it through a day without crying over someone's heartbreaking story or kind words - not just to me, but the incredibly unselfish support you see taking place here every day. Everyone here has become something of a surrogate family to me. We've kind of grown up together over the last nine months, laughed, cried... I dunno, I DO appreciate the information, but it's the PEOPLE I love the most.

You're right though, the forum is open and supportive of ALL kinds of people... TS, CD, androgyne... we all need support and virtual hugs now and then. You do have to filter the information you read to see how well it applies to you, but I think I've learned a LOT about myself just from doing that... from reading alternate points of view. I'm probably MORE sure of myself because of the forum being such an all-encompassing, supportive place.

Kate

[Refugee]

Origianlly I had a very positive outlook on what transexuals are, but that is no longer the case.

I'm not sure I understand why you have a negative view on what we "are" now? Could you explain more?

The internet is not real life.  I think that's where the negative opinion comes from.  Its risky, at best, to judge ALL people of a given demographic by what you learn of them on the internet.

[Stormy Weather]

OK, this is the fourth TS/TG forum I've passed through in the last 12 months. On the whole, apart from the kindness, on all of them there also seems to run a febrile undercurrent of tetchiness fuelled by insecurity and estrogen, where the smallest of slights gets blown-up into unsightly hissy-fits.

The jokes here are the funniest, though. 

[Sheila]

Brina,
   I not sure what you are asking and thinking about positive or negative about transsexuals. I know we all have some motive in coming to forums like this one. I know at first when I wanted to know more about what I was feeling I got online and found a few forums and in the long run ended up here. I'm online with another group for over 50. Susans has a lot more variety of ages and genders that I to hear about what the young people have to say about ->-bleeped-<-. Right now, I have already transitioned and living my life in the gender that I should have been when I was born. I only come to the forums like I have said previously and maybe to add some advice as well. As far as the advice goes, it's only from my point of view and should not be taken as the only word around. I have been known to be wrong on a few occasions. I do my best to answer questions and hopefully, with other replies, will help others out while they are going through their transition phase. The internet, while you can make some pretty good friends, is mainly for information and then you have to weed out the bad stuff, as in life in general. Brina, I hope you stay around.
Sheila

[brina]

Hiee,

  Perhaps I am becoming somewhat 'jaded' in my opinion. After all I really have no idea as to who I am really conversing with in these forum, no tangable proof as to who they really are. I tend to start threads which are highly controversial in nature. I have been told in the past that I'm single minded in my opinions and I suppose that is true. I do find though that the transexual playing field IS NOT level and while some my be good or excellent mountaineers way to many are not. I really do believe the field needs to be level so that it is fair to all, I suppose this might have something to do with my scottish heritage while the fire and passion comes from the french side.

Byee,
  Brina

PS I do find Susan's to be one of the Better forums though as at least it affords boards for everyone for the most part.

[Melissa]

As opinionated as you may be, I found you brought a new point of view.  Particularly in the "does stealth hurt us" thread.  While I could clearly see what you were saying, I didn't quite agree.  After seeing the conversation progress and reading some of the things you had to say, it started changing my point of view on the subject.  Whereas I had originally planned on doing a semi-stealth thing, I am rethinking that and may be more out, particularly because the area I live in seems to be more accepting.  Anyways, personally, I'm glad you have shared your views on here.

Melissa

[lolli]

When first I went online and actively did a search, this was one of the sites that came up.
So I joined and since I have been here I have found that really there is no need for me to go elsewhere because every member here can help me, and maybe sometimes I can offer my limited opinion in return.
I would say that I have spent 95% of my learning expierence here and the remaining 5% on links that were given to me from friends on Susan's site.
I dont think of this site as a bunch of strangers whom I know nothing about.
I consider everyone here to be my friend, and after all we all are traveling a rocky path made smoother by a helping hand offered from kind friends on Susans.
I live in the UK and I have looked for a site here that can compare but those I have found want to either charge for membership or have closed their doors to new members.
As I travel down my path and I pass each junction as a way point in my life of course I will become more learned on transgender subjects, and maybe one day I will be able to help new comers just starting on their path.
Thats my two penny worth girls

[Melissa]

Melissa,
[...]
I Like Your New Picture!! 

Thank you.   By the way, Kiera is a very beautiful name.

Melissa

[Ricki]

Brina do you mean maybe

Origianlly I had a very positive outlook on what transexuals are, but that is no longer the case.

that going into this transgendered internet world with less information the farther you have gotten into it the more you find there are numerous different good and bad things to it and that is not appealing? to you?
Life's lessons work here regardless of gender!
No one is perfect
People are sincere but is 100% of our clientele representing themselves 100% of the time probably not... discretion is not a bad thing, an open site means anyone can sign in and visit and there are judgmental people out there that just prey on that as well..
I and most here are brave for the fact that we come, we talk, we post, we cry, we share, we argue some, we agree, we disagree...We learn from each other, yes?
The world turns in here as it does outside of here.  There is no perfect place or perfect answer...
I found the uggliness years ago in my 20-25 year old age bracket.. It saddened me and sickened me at first weaving through the itnernet-talking to rejectful idiot doctors that had no clue-all the other misgivings i had,  i had limited knowledge ( i feared i would turn into this or one of those or be like this one i saw or that.. these things helped to form some of who iam now in a good way)when i was younger and went on a search to find transgender and what is was and wasn;t and who was and wasn;t and along the way i found so much more amazing things and amazing people.. Good people and sick minded people.. Sincere ts people who just cried inside to be right... Not sincere poeple who used the ideal as a glamor for them a sick game...
do i judge any of them , NO i do not care that much nor put myself in a position to!
I'm young i suppose only 38 but my life's lessons have taught me many things and some of them have helped me in the gender world and community!
I just sort of went on and on  sorry..
i maybe did not touch on anything relative or maybe i did let us know pease?
you seem like you are troubled about something?
Ricki

[Ricki]

Well said tinkerbell....
xoxo
Ricki

[Lori]

Hiee,

  When I first began my transition I found that I was looking for information and I found it on forums dealing with transexuals. The information available had to be THOURGHLY examined as much of it concerning Hormones was down right dangerous. Its also been my experience that many of these area's are loaded with everyone from the transgender spectrum and not solely transexuals. In the begining my need(s) probably ran about 90 to 100% for information. As I sit here today I realize that my needs have dropped to like maybe 5 to 10%. Mostly I am only interested now in what information I may gather about vagiaoplasy and in particular my surgeon of choice. Origianlly I had a very positive outlook on what transexuals are, but that is no longer the case.

Byee,
  Brina

A person is only what they say they are. Since being a transsexual is a self diagnosis, then you have to expect people to take it on faith that you are what you say you are. But everybody is different and trying to put eveybody in the same bubble is not going to work. Transsexuals are as different from each other as everyone else on this planet. I could state I was a gerbil and tell people to treat me as such, but if I am not percieved that way I won't get any validation as to what I claim I am. If I dont look and act like a Gerbil I doubt I get the respect or treated as one regardless of how things should be. If you are only interested in srs info why do you even bother posting in here if you have such an opposing view on what transsexuals are? Or why don't you change your diagnosis if you don't like it? Or are we all wrong and you are right and we should change who we are to suit you?

This is a quote from your website

June 15,2005
Well I just found out last week what the initial diagnosis was
from the pychiatrist I saw back in March. He has classed me as
having Transvestic Fetishism as well as being Gender Dysphoric.
YAAAAAAAA the door is now ajar for my Sex Re-assignment Op in
2007, I'm so excited thinking about it .

Maybe this is why you are having difficulties with Trannsexuals. I didnt know that ->-bleeped-<-s got letters for SRS or HRT either. I think I am more confused then you are at this point. You were diagnosed as one thing then self diagnosed yourself as something else. Only you can know.

Byee
   Lori

[brina]

Well Lori,

  Had you bothered to read any further you would also have seen that latter on I did in fact begin seeing a local pychiatrist in gender and in fact he has diagnosed me as being GID oh yaaa another label to be proud of. The first interview ended on a rather sour note as he was adament that I would have to proceed thru the 'Clarke' institue in Toronto and having already had dealings with them I knew them to be Ultra Conservative in their approach. He graciously (NOT) informed me that without proceeding thru THEIR hoops and agenda that I would NEVER have SRS in CANADA. I informed him that my intent was to have my OP in Thailand anyhow due to the cost involved which usurped his authority over me. Now add to that the fact that he was appearantly upset that I had not shown up in a mini skirt and heels (the first week of March mind you with a foot of snow on the ground) and the fact that he also mixed in sexuality with his diagnosis and discounted a good deal of what I had confided in him, it should be clear as to why I eventually sought further treatment from a second source.

I might say though that at least I have the conviction and courage to post ALL information about my state of transitioning from one gender to another for all to see. Even if it means that some will try and use snippets from it to render personal attacks!

Brina

[Ricki]

sorry Brina,
Bad run with the doc...
I was on my fifth psychiatrist in this area (many years back) when that failed and mind you this was just seeking original counselling... I struck it lucky going to a therapist who was a psychologist... actually should of did that first she could not prescribe pills, which was good at that point, the psychiatrists tried to make me belive i was not who i was saying and that mind altering drugs and depressants would solve my issues!
agghhhhhh
Ricki

[Julie Marie]

The Internet is a mask.  Behind it you can be whatever you want to be.  It's impossible to know for sure who you are interacting with.  And the same can be said about information you get from the Internet.  This all has to be approached with caution. 

Reagrding transsexuals, I have met many in the past two years and I have gotten along with most of them.  But we are just like every other group in this society, there are some bad apples.  Those bad apples haven't tarnished my overall opinion of transsexuals.  But I do find that transgender persons tend to be a bit more down on themselves than what you find in the general public.

Julie

[Catherine]

Hiee,

  Perhaps I am becoming somewhat 'jaded' in my opinion. After all I really have no idea as to who I am really conversing with in these forum, no tangable proof as to who they really are. I tend to start threads which are highly controversial in nature. I have been told in the past that I'm single minded in my opinions and I suppose that is true. I do find though that the transexual playing field IS NOT level and while some my be good or excellent mountaineers way to many are not. I really do believe the field needs to be level so that it is fair to all, I suppose this might have something to do with my scottish heritage while the fire and passion comes from the french side.

Byee,
  Brina

PS I do find Susan's to be one of the Better forums though as at least it affords boards for everyone for the most part.

Life is not a level playing field.... Why should it be any different for us ??

Most people on here are just that people. We are all different and driven by different things, you should respect that.

[Steph]

Hiee,

  Perhaps I am becoming somewhat 'jaded' in my opinion. After all I really have no idea as to who I am really conversing with in these forum, no tangable proof as to who they really are. I tend to start threads which are highly controversial in nature. I have been told in the past that I'm single minded in my opinions and I suppose that is true. I do find though that the transexual playing field IS NOT level and while some my be good or excellent mountaineers way to many are not. I really do believe the field needs to be level so that it is fair to all, I suppose this might have something to do with my scottish heritage while the fire and passion comes from the french side.

Byee,
  Brina

PS I do find Susan's to be one of the Better forums though as at least it affords boards for everyone for the most part.

Hello Brina.

I'm glad that you find Susan's to one of the better forums.  And just know that we try our best to accommodate all members of the transgender community no mater who or what you are.  I'll refer to our mission statement if you will which reads as follows:

Every one is welcome at Susan's Place if you follow a few basic rules: This site is an open support area and is not generally sexually oriented. This site is for the discussion of issues related to gender and may include Transsexualism, Transvestism, Cross-dressing, or other related topics. This web site exists try to provide constructive input and support.

I think it is fair to say that we treat everyone with respect and dignity, no matter what or who you are.  This is not a Transsexual support site, it is not a Cross-dresser support site etc. the site is for everyone consequently everyone is entitled to post their views and opinions.  Every now and then these views and opinions perhaps are not what we are looking for or expect.  The key is not to take any of this personal.  Of course if a person makes the topic or reply personal then others will reply in kind.  It is the nature of the forums.  The rules are there for everyone and they are applied to everyone.  It is unfortunate that you seem to have had your opinion of Transsexuals tarnished while on this site, however it is safe to say that members give as good as they get.

I will offer my apologies to you if I or any of Susan's members have been the cause of your dismay, however the members of Susan's are a very active bunch who hold their beliefs close to their hearts and are passionate to a fault over their opinions.  Again none of this is personal.

I truly hope that your opinion will change but you will still be most welcome here if it doesn't as we are all different, we all have different views, passions and causes that we hold dear, and many of the members will defend those views and passions.

Needless to say please stay around, relax and enjoy, we are a pretty great, unique bunch of folks.

Steph

[brina]

Hiee Steph,

  If I have given the impression that my views on transexuals have been tarnished by the treads and responses made then I am indeed deeply sorry for that IS NOT the case. Although in lookiing at the title of the tread I can see how that might have been implied. It should have been:

Groups ie plural!

Anyhow I tried to amend that with my comment about Susan's Site. Its been my personal experience that many other transgender sites don't really care to hear the accepted definition of thier respective (condition?) ie being CD,TV or DQ/K etc.
It seems to me to have something to do with a fantasy, but then I truly don't comprehend why someone feels compelled to dress in womans attire and present as female when they identify as being a male speaking in terms of the male members only.

Rikki:
  Yes when I did finally get a copy of the first diagnosis it was appearant that this guy had made his mind up the second I walked thru the door and before we even began the interview. Thru out the entire letter he used male pronouns in refering to me did not even appearantly pay any attention as to what I did in fact wear that day and  left out huge segments of what I had told him re: I think the reference to Transvestic Fetishism. I was excited mostly because I had a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria and with the surgeons in Thailand that is all that is required and not being GID. Being as he was indirectly tied to the 'Clarke' institute in Toronto and in hindsight I can see very clearly what he was likely up to. I am soooooo very happy to have found a local pychiatrist who's philosophy is more in tune with the Sherbourne Clinic in Toronto. Anyhow it now is all water under the bridge.

  Is life a level playing field of course not and EVEN less level for transexuals. My question is why accept it that way. It should and can be changed!

Byee,
  Brina

[Genevieve]

I think it is fair to say that we treat everyone with respect and dignity, no matter what or who you are.  This is not a Transsexual support site, it is not a Cross-dresser support site etc. the site is for everyone consequently everyone is entitled to post their views and opinions.  Every now and then these views and opinions perhaps are not what we are looking for or expect.  The key is not to take any of this personal.  Of course if a person makes the topic or reply personal then others will reply in kind.  It is the nature of the forums.  The rules are there for everyone and they are applied to everyone.  It is unfortunate that you seem to have had your opinion of Transsexuals tarnished while on this site, however it is safe to say that members give as good as they get.

Well said Steph!!   

I believe the transgendered community is one of the most diverse there is. Having said that, I look over Susan's and see people posting here on a huge variety of topics. I look at all of the people here and we see the entire spectrum of TG people represented. Susan's supports MtFs and FtMs and CDs and GIDs and SOs and so many more it's hard to to keep track of the anagrams.  LOL   The point is that we are all people. We come here to represent ourselves as we see ourselves, regardless of whether or not that vision is accurate.

Here is what I believe. I take EVERYONE at face value and support them as much as I can in the manner they wish to be supported in accordance to my beliefs. But, there are such great people here from all over the TG spectrum. I value the support from all the people on this site. Some of the people I love here are Julie Marie, Tinkerbell, RebeccaFog, Marco, Ricki, there are just to many good people here to really list. I find the whole spectrum of TG experience to be fascinating.

I really guess the point of this post is that if you are solely seeking real people that are 100% genuine, 100% of the time then the internet may be the wrong place to look. For most of us you are seeing the real us, with only the names changed to protect ourselves. I know you are probably already doing this and know what I am going to say, but try seeking out the TG support groups in your area and look for one that has members that mirror your own situation. That is where you will find reality. I'm becoming a member of a TG social club and actively seeking support groups in my area.

With regard to Susan's, I have looked elsewhere and I believe that I have found the best TG site, and I have certainly found the one at which I am most comfortable.

I love being what I am and I love the road that I have started to travel upon as I finally see a destination of worth in my life.

*hugs*

Genevieve

[Ricki]

Genevieve!  I'm overwhelmed!  You said a mouthful and it was good!  Very tasteful and smartly said! WOW is all i can say..............
Now if people and new people and visitors would read your reply they would get some instant insight into what to expect or not expect and maybe what to expect out of themselves..
I had no idea what to expect and so far i am forming expectations.  they are good ones.  I have made quality time in my day to sign on and stay in the sessions for a while becasue i truly enjoy you guys, the topics, the replies, the info, the jokes, it's all very very good and for me that's a difference maker becasue this is exactly what i was looking for to constructively use some of my time..
thanks to susan's- you- and everyone on the site, truly!
hugs
Ricki