So this was my very first outing En Femme.
Let me first start by saying , I am extremely shy. I mean way beyond what would be considered normal shyness . I get very nervous around people. My wife helps allot, does all the talking for me, orders for me, asks for assistance etc. we're always together so it's not to much a problem. I have talked to my wife about going out En femme. She questioned weather or not I would have the courage, knowing my deep insecurities . Although she supports me in everything I am doing, she has expressed some discomfort regarding the subject of going out En femme. I told her that maybe I would like to try , maybe in a year from now?
So, I'm down in So Cal, for a couple weeks. Without my wife ( which is rare). I have no idea what got into me. I just decided that I would call a friend (a gay friend)and go out to breakfast, En femme. Now mind you, I am not out of the closet except to my wife and one of my children. I have never went out with any makeup or nail polish, etc. The next day I picked up my friend .Boy, was he surprised to see me En femme. We headed out to a very popular restaurant in LA. (The Pantry). I could have picked a quiet out of the way place , but I didn't. There I was standing in line for thirty minutes , dressed En femme and not nervous. On any other given day a situation like that would have been very uncomfortable for me. Breakfast went well except for one moment. I large group of people got seated just across from us. All at the same time they turned and stared at me. They didn't say anything just kept staring .I started feeling a little uncomfortable. As it turns out the Pantry's menus are posted up on the walls and I happen to be sitting directly under one. After breakfast I didn't want the day to end. So my friend took me around to introduce me to his friends. Which , because of my shyness, I would have never agreed to but this day was different.
When I am presenting as male and I am around groups of people. My mind is filled with self conscience thoughts. What they think of me? How I must appear to them? When I present female. I'm not all that concerned . I can't even seem to conjure up a feeling of nervousness when I think of going out En femme. It's like something just clicked. I am so looking forward to going out again.
OK, Here's the funny part that I did not consider. My friend who took me out, is a real gentleman. When the door was opened for us to enter the restaurant . My friend motioned for me to enter first and of course I motioned back for him to enter first. We stood there for a moment motioning back in forth and finally he gave in and entered. I had no idea what had happened til later. Unfortunately this happened more then a few times that day. We went window shopping for awhile . We were walked back and forth down the boulevard and every time we changed direction , he would take the outside position. Then I , without realizing it would slip over to the outside position. It went like that all the way down the street, until I realized what was going on. It was quite funny.
Erocse
