anyone else feel this way?

[ki1977]

hey,
Have recently joined this forum, and after reading through the various topics I have gained a lot more information and help in 1 hour than I have since I knew what FTM ment

Anyway, I've not really discussed my situation with many people. There are many reasons for this, and one of the reasons was down to my mother, she was sick for quite some time and I really didn't want to add to her problems. My mum has passed away now, and I really feel as time goes by I'm getting unhappier, which causes a lot of frustration.

I have recently ended a 5 year relationship with a woman, who at first completely accepted me, but after time I found and felt that she really didn't want me to go much further to becoming male (physically). The problem is; she has 3 children who are really very close to me and I think she was worried of the effects it may have on the kids.
We are still living together, as she doesn't want the kids to know we have split. But, as you can imagine it's really not the ideal situation.

I now find myself worrying about things which I'm not sure I should be....ahhh, this probably really isn't making sense and I'm sorry if I have just confused you.
But, I worry that I wont meet someone who will accept the huge changes,which I hope to make over the next few years. I am only 5ft 1, and I have been accepted very openly as a lesbian, but I don't know any males that are my size.....one friend commented "well I do, you", which really put a smile on my face. I probably sound like an idiot right now, but I just don't know if these worries are normal.. I mean I am who I am, but I'm not who I want to be if that makes sense.

Many thanks
Ki

[Morgan]

A good friend of mine at college is male and he is just an inch taller than me, leaving him at 5'2". No one questions him, just because he's short! There ARE short men out there, they're just hard to find. Height does little for passing. People don't think 'oh you're short so you MUST be a woman, even though you have a mustache?'

So once you go on T, your shortness just doesn't matter anymore.

And about your partner, I personally wouldn't want to stay in the house, telling the kids a 100% 24/7 lie like that. But that's just my thoughts on it, you gotta make your own call in this situation.

Welcome aboard!

[tangobravo]

We are still living together, as she doesn't want the kids to know we have split. But, as you can imagine it's really not the ideal situation.

I now find myself worrying about things which I'm not sure I should be....ahhh, this probably really isn't making sense and I'm sorry if I have just confused you.
But, I worry that I wont meet someone who will accept the huge changes,which I hope to make over the next few years. I am only 5ft 1, and I have been accepted very openly as a lesbian, but I don't know any males that are my size.....one friend commented "well I do, you", which really put a smile on my face. I probably sound like an idiot right now, but I just don't know if these worries are normal.. I mean I am who I am, but I'm not who I want to be if that makes sense.

Many thanks
Ki

you'll find someone who accepts you. people are surprising. and everyday, their minds are changing. i was in a long term relationship too, and when it ended i thought there was never going to be another person who accepted me and was willing to go on the adventure of my transition with me.
i was pleasently surprised when i met a young woman whom i outed myself to (for the first time. every time before it was more of a known fact that wasn't discussed in depth.) was not only accepting of it. but still saw me as tim, rather than tim the transsexual. and just the act of knowing i could tell someone who i was and who i was working on becoming, and having them be just as excited as me was a huge relief for me.

and i know that she's not the only person like this out there.
i'm not saying to out yourself to every possible mate, because you never truly know how someone might react to it. but know that the right person will come along. and you shouldn't be so afraid of who you are to not let them celebrate who you are.

as for your height. i wouldn't dwell too strongly on it. i know bio men who are your height. and if you start hormones, it is possible that you will gain a 1/2 inch to an inch in height.

i'm sorry to hear about your mother, and i hope everything gets easier for you. good luck

[ki1977]

thanks both....yer I'm not comfortable about the kids either, they do need to know the truth...I guess I've just been feeling guilty, as I have asked so much of her....and it was me that ended it.
But, I have no doubt that life will be a lot brighter for me now