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Alright, incredibly weird question incoming

Started by M_is_for_Something, October 15, 2010, 04:46:05 PM

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M_is_for_Something

I'm in High School. Pre-transition, but I did get my hair cut and I came out to my mom, my best friend, and my therapist.

There's really no way to put this, but I am incredibly put off about receiving hugs from females for some reason. It started a few months ago, but I just can't hug girls...it really creeps me out. It feels strange and unnatural and I get embarrassed. I can hug my dad and my little brother fine, and I don't imagine it would be too hard to hug my closest male friend were I so inclined, but just the idea of hugging my mum...*shudders*. My mum acts like I'm hurting her feelings because I'll hug my dad but not her, but I just can't do it.

Is this weird? Is anybody else having this problem or just me?
(Also, yes, we're a community big on hugging, don't mock. :( )
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Inkwe Mupkins

Personally, I would never hug a female jokeing or not. It's akward cause there all emotional. I've hugged a guy friend but not out of compashion, it was like who could squeeze the hardest. I wouldn't ever show any physical affection to anyone regardless of gender. I find all intimate, including holding hands, discusting.
Islam means peace.
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DaddySplicer

I was awkward about hugging chicks pre-top surgery. Now it's all right, because boobies feel nice against a flat chest. ;;>>
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Shang

Even if it feels really wrong/weird for you, you should hug your mom.  I hugged my mom regardless of how I felt about hugging her or girls in generals.  I knew that I upset her if I hugged only my dad, and it's really not the greatest thing to upset your mom--especially if she's helping you.  And I doubt your mom is "acting" hurt--she probably is really hurt that you only hug your dad and brother.

That being said, I've nothing against hugging anyone.  I'm actually awkward when it comes to hugging guys more, but then guys just don't give the awesome cuddles that chicks give and I love cuddles. XD
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Raven

I'm not too found of hugs myself, but I will hug anyway if either forced or if I think a hug is called for > >    But what really creeps me out is when my best friend not only hugs me but when she gives me an peck on the cheek heh.
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Izumi

Quote from: DaddySplicer on October 15, 2010, 06:32:37 PM
I was awkward about hugging chicks pre-top surgery. Now it's all right, because boobies feel nice against a flat chest. ;;>>

Flat chest also feels nice on boobies.   

I really didnt see guys hug much growing up, just the occasional wave or fist bump.  Although, guys would always seem to jump at the chance to get a hug from a girl... its a boob thing probably, like a second hand feel up or something.
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James42

Ha yea one of my best friends is a girl and I hug her all the time, well now I do. I was never used to giving hugs either, if someone gave me one i'd give it back but I was selective. I let her hug me and we have like a minute hug session lol which I don't mind. I guess I'm just more selective on who I show affection to. My parents hardly gave me hugs or kisses past the cute stage, so I'm just used to it
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Cindy

Funny and interesting comment,

In guy life I never hugged another guy, well except for my Dad. Yes hugged girls but that was trying to be a boy thing. Now I hug my girl friends when I meet them, seems natural (as GF they are GF not sexual GF). What I totally hate is older women kissing me, my grandma, my mother in law all want to kiss me goodbye; totally hate it ??? Makes me cringe, yuk, yuk, yuk.

Cindy
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Darrin Scott

Hugging other girls doesn't bother me at all! I don't like hugging in general, but I enjoy hugging attractive women.  ;D





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Jeatyn

I've never really thought about it, I'll hug anyone, I'm a hug slut
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Adio

Growing up, I hated to hug anyone.  Especially girls.  I think I saw hugging as something feminine and didn't want other people to see that in me.  But I always hugged my mom and other female relatives.  Very seldom did I get a hug from my dad or pawpaw.  It just wasn't done.

I'm now much more comfortable hugging female friends and acquiescence.  Has nothing to do with boobs though.  I won't initiate the hug, but I'll give one back.  With female relatives, the only two I hug are my grandma and aunt.  For some reason, my mom and I don't hug at all unless it's something very emotional.  When I've tried to hug her, she declines or gets stiff.  Not sure why that happens, but it doesn't matter too much.

I think even now I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable hugging a guy that I wasn't dating.  At least not in public.  But now that I've realized girls hug pretty much everybody, I don't have a problem hugging them back.
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Flam

I like to hug strongly the closest friends of mine. But i used to do it more when i was smaller... And had no boobs  >..>;
I feel sorry for my boyfriend, who enjoy to hug me the strongest he can, but always hurt me when doing so, because of this disgusting fat-balls on my chest  ._.
But well, answering the topic... I don't feel bad when hugging a girl. I just don't like to do it, because they too have bewbs, do i can't hug them the way i hug boys, because i know i can hurt them   ^..^;
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Arch

Love being hugged by the men in my gay group. Don't like hugging women. I do it occasionally with very very special women...but, come to think of it, only two, and they're both trans. And I haven't seen either of them in months.

My family was very hands off, and I especially hated being touched by my mother, but I had (still have) serious issues with her. When my school called her and told her I had tried to kill myself (I hadn't), she came in all aflutter and hugged me. I still think of that as one of the most disturbing and disgusting moments of my life.

But then, as I said, I had issues with her.

Apparently, your issue isn't with your mom but with women in general. Could you be distancing yourself from women because you don't identify as one?
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Elijah3291

I didnt really like to hug my girl friends before transition, but now that i have transitioned I enjoy hugging them now, the kind of hug where you hug them and move your feet a bit, like a bear hug, it makes me feel protective over them, and like I am in control.
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M_is_for_Something

Quote from: Arch on October 16, 2010, 07:45:58 PM
Apparently, your issue isn't with your mom but with women in general. Could you be distancing yourself from women because you don't identify as one?

Huh. Yeah, that might be it, actually. Thanks.
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Arch

Quote from: M_is_for_Something on October 16, 2010, 08:35:24 PM
Huh. Yeah, that might be it, actually. Thanks.

Well, I hope I helped.

I think that some of my own discomfort is for the same reason (distancing myself from women because I always felt male), but I know that my mother did a lot of damage and made it difficult for me to trust any women at all. I thought I mostly had it licked.

Then I transitioned and found out how wrong I was.

In my case, this step backward is actually a step forward. Now I'm feeling things instead of repressing them. It's good to feel, but it doesn't feel good. :(
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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