I am so happy. On December 21st I'm getting top surgery in Philadelphia (well, technically Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania,) and the surgeon is Dr. Leis. It will either be a doughnut or lollipop incision, and after I've recovered for a while I'm going to spend a week of doing fun stuff in the city.
All I can think to say right now is OMG I am so fortunate that this is happening...I almost can't believe it, but it is, and I am thanking every lucky star in the blinking SKY that I've been able to get to this point in my life. Moving forward, breaking free of the doldrums, not having to walk around with my shoulders slumped and my confidence wheezing out its last hallelujah--it's like right now, all the stress and sleepless nights and metaphorical ulcers make sense. This is why I'm transitioning, not because I'm loopy, not because I hate myself or have daddy-issues or any of that neolithic twaddle, but because I'm happier with a body that fits. I knew this all along in a rational way, but just now it's become intuitive and unassailable by shadows of fear or doubt.
And to think of how terrified I was before the phone consultation. It all worked out fine.
Surgery itself is a little scary to consider, all the needles and drip-tubes and things which smell of hospital, but I AM SO JOYOUS TO GET THIS DONE AT LAST!!!