Scary Experience

[Kentrie]

I'm visiting my cousins in Kentucky because my grandpa is dying and when we went to the hospital I had to pee so I went into the mens room, now my family was there in the hospital and I was terrified of them seeing me in there, I got the nerve up and went in there. And what do you know the locks are broken on the stalls, I closed it as far as it would go and then all of a sudden the door opened and I was thinking "Oh ->-bleeped-<-" and I panicked. I just sat there for a while because I couldn't pee, I was to tense. He did his business and walked out and my brain said "screw peeing, get out of there before either someone finds out you're a girl or your family sees you" so I tore out of there and thank god no one was out there and I finally snuck off and used a unisex bathroom. Why did I panick? I didn't feel like I didn't belong (well sort of because it was the first time I've been in a guys bathroom with stalls) but I felt okay. But then when the guy walked in, I panicked really bad. Why is that? Does/did anyone else have that problem?

[Flam]

Maybe that's because you know you have a female body and so will be treated like one. And obviously, a man don hope to see a woman in the male bathroom  ^..^;
I never went to the man's bathroom, but i'm sure i would feel the same way, once i'm pre-op  .-.

[Pundit]

Sounds like you were afraid he might accidentally walk in on you or something and then see your female body and react in a surprised, possibly angry way. Honestly, it seems like a natural fear. I'd probably feel the same way if I were in your position.

[Adio]

Was this your first attempt to use the men's room?  It's okay to be nervous or scared even when you've used it before. 

You panicked probably because you weren't prepared for the locks being broken.  It was a situation you didn't plan on encountering.  Combine that with the fear you might be seen by your family.  That's probably why you panicked.  It doesn't mean that you don't belong in the men's room.  It was just a tense situation for you.

[Morgan]

I got really scared when I used the men's room for the first time, too. When someone walked in, I thought I was going to die X_X So yeah, the way you reacted is pretty normal. You'll get used to it, in time!

[Kentrie]

I can use a single bathroom or if the area is empty but when he walked in I thought he was going to be like "why is he sitting down". I wasn't scared of him but I was afaid of him finding out I was biologically female. I was getting ready to "go" but I tensed up when he walked in. How many times do I have to be scared like that before I'm used to it? Next time their might be a lot more people in there.

[James42]

I don't like going to the restroom without a stp, it makes me feel more comfortable and never nervous. Have you planned on getting one? It might help

[Nygeel]

I'd be nervous of somebody opening the door no matter what restroom it was (if there were no locks on the stalls).

[xAndrewx]

I'd be nervous of somebody opening the door no matter what restroom it was (if there were no locks on the stalls).

Agreed. I think you probably would've been a little more calm about it had the stall been able to lock. I panicked my first few times but then I realized no one noticed if I was sitting down because some bio guys sit to pee as well. Plus, you're a guy, you belong there.

[JesseA]

most guys dont care in bathrooms. they assume you know what youre doing. your confidence and belief in this will build over time, don't worry. you'll get used to it and eventually it will faze you just as little as it does the other guys in the bathroom.

[Radar]

JesseA is completely right. Plus, guys sit down to take a crap too. I doubt this guy would interrogate you on this. When you say he opened the door do you mean to the stall or just entered the bathroom?

Anybody anywhere opening the stall door is going to be startling no matter what bathroom. If you notice there's no locks if you hear someone in there keep an eye on the door. If someone starts opening it then yell you're in there and use your foot to keep the door closed if you can. I've done this in the women's and men's.

[some ftm guy]

ok one time before a cross country race in 04 i had to use these old public restrooms and all the stalls were being used except the one at the far end with no door at all. i REALLY had to go so i tried to just sit down at that one and hurry but sure enough someone walked up and saw me and you bet your ass i yelled in terror! she was just like "oh there's no door at this one." while walking away. just as embarissed as i was. good thing i was sitting down otherwise...yeesh hehheh.

so no wonder you were panicked i understand that completely, being walked in on while using a toilet is really unsettling for anyone. i don't think he would have noticed anything odd about you sitting down though. I'd be scared about my family seeing me walk into a mens restroom as well.

[Kentrie]

No, he didn't open the stall door, he walked in and went to the urinal and walked back out. I'm not used to bio men because I'm usually only around women. My mom has told me all of my life that men will rape you and to never be alone with one (she had bad experience with a man as a child) so when he walked in I thought if he found out I was biologically female he would hurt me. What if someone tells me I'm in the wrong bathroom? What do I say?

[Kentrie]

I don't like going to the restroom without a stp, it makes me feel more comfortable and never nervous. Have you planned on getting one? It might help

I can't afford one.

[kyril]

No, he didn't open the stall door, he walked in and went to the urinal and walked back out. I'm not used to bio men because I'm usually only around women. My mom has told me all of my life that men will rape you and to never be alone with one (she had bad experience with a man as a child) so when he walked in I thought if he found out I was biologically female he would hurt me. What if someone tells me I'm in the wrong bathroom? What do I say?

You're a man. Do you plan to rape anyone?

Yes, there are violent and dangerous people in this world. They are not everywhere. They are not the majority. As a young man you have the privilege of not having to act like they're everywhere. But in order to enjoy it you have to put aside some of the fear-conditioning you've been subjected to as a girl. This is just the beginning of that. Some night you're going to be in a room full of young, drunk, possibly otherwise chemically-enhanced guys, possibly playing with weapons and/or other dangerous objects, and you are going to have to be confident and not show - or even feel - the slightest trace of fear.

Start here. Tell yourself, the next time a guy walks into the bathroom when you're using it, that you are safe. He's not going to hurt you. All he wants to do is take a piss like any other human being. And whatever you do, do not - do not - let him see you afraid. Because that, as a guy, is the only thing that's going to get you hurt.

And if you're challenged? Look at the person like they're crazy.

"Are you in the right restroom?"
"Um...yeah...?"

"Hey, the ladies' room is down the hall."
"Uh...thanks, dude..." (walk into men's)

No fear. No submissiveness. Walk tall.

[James42]

I can't afford one.

start out with just a medicine spoon or similar receptical

[Radar]

Kyril is right. If you act like you belong there, even if you may not be 100% passing, then guys will assume you're in the correct place. I had a double take only one time, but he said nothing so I assume he believed I knew what I was doing.

Going to the men's toilet can be imitating at first (we're taught it's taboo). By continuing to do it you'll get more confidence. If you're in a situation where you don't feel comfortable using the men's then don't. Continuing to being exposed to it does help condition you and make you more confident.

Take it as quickly or slowly as you like. It's a work in progress. However, once you start getting glares, evil looks and told to leave the women's toilet is definitely time to use just the men's.

[Kentrie]

My mother is always with me when I go somewhere and she would flip out if she saw me going into the mens' room because she has the whole man=rape thing. I'm not really scared of all men just the ones who look dangerous. What do I do if I go into the mens' bathroom and start to panic when someone is in there? What do I tell myself?

[xAndrewx]

I recently had to go to the airport to meet up with my grandparents. Long story short I was waiting around for a really long time a few hours and had to go to the bathroom a couple times. I just walked straight into the men's room like I belonged there (because well, we're guys, we do belong there). I even waited for a stall to open up for a couple minutes. Funny thing was, I wasn't the only guy waiting on a stall just to pee. Some guys are pee shy. I didn't have any trouble, which trouble is what I always get in the women's room. I think we tend to make it scarier when in reality like everyone said, the guys don't care. Man I had one guy stare at me funny but what guy is gonna question a chick when they aren't even positive the person is a chick. If they're wrong they're gonna look like an idiot so they probably would just stay quiet which he did.

[Kentrie]

I get very hostile when I feel scared so if someone told me I was in the wrong bathroom then I would give them a mean look and say "Um, no I'm not" and look at them like they are stupid so I hope I won't do anything stupid. I'm not being a pervert, I just want to use the bathroom I need to use. Women look at me funny when I go into the girls bathroom.