Megan
As janet says, don't even think about it.
As for your fears and family, I can identify with that completely. I don't make friends, never have. I know loads of people, but, other than my wife, no friends at all.
When I was in my teens, I tried and lost basically, because I was so terribly lonely.
At this point, I really wish I could give you some sage advice to sort that out. Or, failing that, some dire warning to push you into living your own life, regardless.
But no. Lonliness sucks.
All I can say is, don't lose faith in yourself, or your dreams. You know your objective, your goal. You keep your eye on that.
For now, you play life by ear. Opportinities will present themselves. But there's no sense in setting off before the paint is dry, to coin an annalogy.
Your time will come. In the mean time, you have us here. You know who you are and you will get there.