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What I'm really thinking: The gay teenager

Started by spacial, October 18, 2010, 01:24:45 PM

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spacial

This short article appeared in Saturday's Guardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/16/really-thinking-gay-teenager

Excert:

QuoteThe flamboyant minority of gay people don't make it any easier, either; they're the ones you see on TV and who make homosexuality appear something trivial, effeminate and optional. The reality for a lot of young gay people is radically different. The silent majority are straight-talking and straight-acting, but gay.

This has gotten me thinking. We are weighed down by stereotypes, in every aspect of life. The image is seemingly, as important as the individual.

The gay lobby has an obscession with comming out. Why? Why should any of us feel compelled to tell the world about those aspects of our lives that have nothing to do with the situation in hand.

Oh wait, perhaps I'm wrong here. Perhaps I should come out of the closet. OK. I'm going to come out of the closet now and tell the world something abiut myself. I....., yes, ... I am, ... actually, a qualified and licience electrician.

Now everyone, reading this in various parts of the world, don't you feel better, knowing that, in your midst, there is someone who, I'll take a breath, is an, .... electrician? Yes, and what's more, I'm proud of being what I am. I've no shame. I'm a sparky. Yeah.

Utter nonsense.

I'm thinking about that video of Nikki Araguz where she was interviewed in an office. It was posted recently in this section.

Looking at Mrs. Araguz, I defy anyone to say that she is anything other than 100% woman. I defy anyone to say that her medical history has any significant differences from any other woman.

Her calm dignity, her respectable, socially appropriate demeanor in the face of a barrage of insulting and highly personal attacks is admirable and exemplary.

It seems to me that this is a significant part of the reason so many gay activists are ignoring transgendered people. For the gay activist, it's all about being flamboyant, out and proud, in your face, inverted shame.

We are the felow travelers, the confused weidros who can't quite jump on the gay bandwaggon. Who can't face their gayness, so we try to make out that we are really the opposite sex, in an effort to make our gayness respectable.

Except, we're not. We are people who have a need to express ourselves in the gender, opposite from our genetics.

I have no illusions about my physical limitations. I know, after SRS, I can never become pregnant.

I don't want to parade myself on some party float, like a defiant clown, being dragged to the social guilotine. I'm not interested in going to gay parties, picking up the first man I happend to bump into. I really don't want to be identified as the trans, the gay, the one with false tits. The one who's intersting because, you know what they use to be, don't you?

I just want to take my place in society. If my personal life is relevant to someone then fine, I will tell them. But whose business is it who I sleep with, what my body looks like or what sort of clothes I wear?

My role model is Nikki Araguz.

Ask the average man or woman, in the street, what they have between their legs and the result is likely to be a punch in the nose.

Yet somehow, what I have or not, is treated like an election result.

Sorry, but my private life is no-body's business.
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Janet_Girl

An electrician?   :icon_yikes:  OMG  ???  I am shocked.


I could not agree more.   I am me, period.  what is down there is no ones business but mine and at times my doctor.
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Squirrel698

The focus on community is the reason so many are pushed to out themselves.  Focus on the many and the long term result rather then the single man or woman.  It is true that the more visible gay and transgendered individuals are the more accepting the average man or woman will be of them.  Most people I talk to claim not to know anyone who is queer in any way at all.  The realization that people outside of the norm exist and are productive and friendly and not some creature crawling up out of the swamp is the best way to make social change.  Otherwise it is distant and untouchable to most people so they see no reason to reorientate their thinking. 

Just an another opinion I wanted to put out there.   

"It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul"
Invictus - William Ernest Henley
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rite_of_inversion

Yah, leesten to squirrel, Boris!
(sorry, couldn't help myself... ::))
The thing is, it's uncomfortable to come out to hateful people, so the hateful people...never realize that there's LGBT people all around them, all the time.  What they picture is an overblown stereotype in their heads...the HOMO BOOGEYMAN!!!  (RUN!!!!) and so they don't realize we are, well, really rather boring, and not very scary. With mostly the same problems and concerns they have. 
And the answer to the question "Who CAN a trans person marry? should be the same answer as for anyone else-the consenting adult of their choice. But it's not. And if LGBT people want to get shot at for their country...the answer should be-sure. But at least in my country, it's not.

So that's why the push for visibility.  Where I live, visibility ain't the safe choice...and now it comes with added layers.  Do I "just" come out as a biofemale in a relationship with a woman? or an A/G? Right now I'm still debating that identity.  And does she want to come out as a post-op mtf?(answer to that-no-her past genital deformities are nobody's biz)

OTOH, it was her birth sex that allowed us to use the screwed up legal system and get a marriage license...and if I figure out I'm a man things are going to get really strange....
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