How to pass without the surgeries or hormones

[Samson99]

Hiya. I was just wondering for ftms out there who aren't on T and don't plan on going under the knife, how you pass as a male? Do you have any tips or suggestions to make one's appearance more believable? I'm not out to my family yet, so I can't look entirely like a male as of right now, but I want to know what would work best for when I do come out to them.

[xAndrewx]

I'm going to eventually have surgery so I don't entirely fit into your post but I'm pre-everything and passing 95% if not more of the time. Most important thing, in my opinion, is confidence. You are male so your not "passing" as anything is the mindset I use. I stick with all mens clothes (though some guys can pull off women's clothes and still look like a hot guy), a traditional men's haircut, and a binder. I have a medium sized chest so that last part is important to my being able to pass. Men and women somewhat have different ways of speech I've noticed. It's hard to describe but kind of like a different pattern of speech? I spent a lot of time observing that and following it which I think has helped a little as well. I can't really think of anything else at the moment though. Maybe that will help you out a little

[ilanthefirst]

Hiya. I was just wondering for ftms out there who aren't on T and don't plan on going under the knife, how you pass as a male? Do you have any tips or suggestions to make one's appearance more believable? I'm not out to my family yet, so I can't look entirely like a male as of right now, but I want to know what would work best for when I do come out to them.

I don't have a whole helluva lot of advice, but you might want to read through the info on this site: http://www.ftmguide.org/.  It goes over the basics of binding, packing, and haircuts, which are things you might be able to get away with while living at home and not being out to your family.  But I agree with Michael Alexander that the most important thing is confidence, and practicing speech patterns and body language should help a lot, too.

[Samson99]

That link was really helpful, thank you for posting it. 

[Kohitsu]

I'm interested in hearing what other people say about this topic. I don't know if I can give much advice because I still don't pass most of the time. But what I've learned that really helps is: short hair (easily done), working out upper body (takes alot of hard work and dedication), and LOWERING YOUR VOICE I believe is the number 1 thing that will help you pass (I think it's possible to train your voice to get lower without T, it just takes alot of practice. Try singing tenor or breathing/speech exercises)

[JosephKT]

I also wonder about this one, and I feel like voice is a damn giveaway.  I've noticed often when I'm in an area with people who don't know me before I speak people have an unsure attitude, and the minute I open my mouth they kinda act like they know what to do.  Hair, pretty easy, though important, clothes, harder because there's a lot I don't fit into but doable, voice.... I have no idea.  If anyone has advice, please post.

[N.Chaos]

I think attitude and the chest are the biggest parts of it, personally. I'm incredibly lucky to have been born with an unusually deep voice, so I was mistaken as a guy before I ever started trying to pass. If you're in a situation like  I am, having a big chest and no having a binder yet, wardrobe manipulation is the key. Seriously. Jackets help, first off. What I've been doing lately is to wear two sports bras, a button up over a t-shirt, and then either my leather jacket or a trenchcoat. Granted it's winter and that's impossible to do in the summer, but it's worked pretty well thus far.

I don't think the voice is ALWAYS the giveaway, though, I've known quite a few bioguys with high voices. Keep in mind too, that people will always have their own ideas on what man is. Some people are so close-minded that they think any man without a crewcut and 6-pack isn't a 'real man'.
Sorry if that post was mostly useless, just giving my meager input.

[insideontheoutside]

I agree that attitude and confidence are biggies.

I could have someone look at the "F" on my drivers license and then address me that way but in my head, I know what's inside - they can't change that, so I managed to get to the point where I don't need the hormones, etc. I realized, for me, it doesn't matter so much what the outside world thinks of me, it matters how happy I am in my own life and comfortable in my own body.

[Michael Joseph]

I agree that attitude and confidence are biggies.

I could have someone look at the "F" on my drivers license and then address me that way but in my head, I know what's inside - they can't change that, so I managed to get to the point where I don't need the hormones, etc. I realized, for me, it doesn't matter so much what the outside world thinks of me, it matters how happy I am in my own life and comfortable in my own body.

Thats awesome, I wish I could feel that way

[insideontheoutside]

Thats awesome, I wish I could feel that way

I didn't always feel that way! Took a good many years to just gain confidence in who I really am. It can be done though.