Post-Op Psychological Changes

[FairyGirl]

What I find amazing is that, for me, it was necessary to change my physical form to find my spiritual self!

That's wonderful! And I don't think it's so far fetched; we are in a very real sense "born again" both physically and psychologically in a way that transcends description. Several of us have described it as "indescribable", which sounds funny but the feeling is something I could have never known before until I lived it. It is a coming into completeness that makes the whole world seem finally right side up as I am finally right side out. That is very much what I would call a spiritual experience.

[Kristyn]

That's wonderful! And I don't think it's so far fetched; we are in a very real sense "born again" both physically and psychologically in a way that transcends description. Several of us have described it as "indescribable", which sounds funny but the feeling is something I could have never known before until I lived it. It is a coming into completeness that makes the whole world seem finally right side up as I am finally right side out. That is very much what I would call a spiritual experience.

One thing I can tell you now is, as I approach my date, I'm feeling a complete peace within myself.  I'm completely relaxed and happy.  Nothing seems to bother or upset me too much.  For the first time in my life I'm feeling a certain freedom inside like I've never felt before.

[FairyGirl]

One thing I can tell you now is, as I approach my date, I'm feeling a complete peace within myself.  I'm completely relaxed and happy.  Nothing seems to bother or upset me too much.  For the first time in my life I'm feeling a certain freedom inside like I've never felt before.

and it only gets better sweetie! So happy for you 

[glendagladwitch]

Now that I think about it, I think that I found myself capable, for the first time, of really being honest with myself and with other people about my disatisfaction with the gender binary, and the way women are treated in western society.  I guess I didn't want to do or say anything that would delay or prevent surgery.  But, once it was completed, and it was time to lie in the bed that I had made, I was able to start hating makeup and hating dresses, and all the stupid BS that comes along with being a girly girl, because I'm a tomboy from planet girlpower, and I know a lot of other people who have experienced the same thing after transition.

[MsFierce]

One thing I can tell you now is, as I approach my date, I'm feeling a complete peace within myself.  I'm completely relaxed and happy.  Nothing seems to bother or upset me too much.  For the first time in my life I'm feeling a certain freedom inside like I've never felt before.

Agree with Chloe, itt's only going to get better from here on out . congrs Kristyn it's coming honey

[Kristyn]

Now that I think about it, I think that I found myself capable, for the first time, of really being honest with myself and with other people about my disatisfaction with the gender binary, and the way women are treated in western society.  I guess I didn't want to do or say anything that would delay or prevent surgery.  But, once it was completed, and it was time to lie in the bed that I had made, I was able to start hating makeup and hating dresses, and all the stupid BS that comes along with being a girly girl, because I'm a tomboy from planet girlpower, and I know a lot of other people who have experienced the same thing after transition.

It's funny that you mention that.  I haven't ditched make up completely, but I have really toned it down.  Gone is the foundation and the eyeliner is a light dusting of shadow with a little mascara--very little--and brows.  I gotta have brows, it makes all the difference in the world to my appearance.  I too am some what of a tomboy, except I like the skirts and heels simply because it suits me.  I'm not crazy about jewelery and hairstyles and I do primarily for myself.  I lug groceries from the store, I build and fix my own computers, I do my own repairs.  At home I'm in yoga pants or shorts with halter or T, no makeup and hair usually in a mess, but most times I do flatten it simply because it can get rather crazy.  This all just came about recently as well.  There used to be a time when I'd wear makeup to do laundry! 

@Cloe and Giselle--THANKS LADIES!!!!

[Muffin]

Do you notice an increase of energy and vitality? I feel really lethargic recently which I'm thinking may be all the hormones I'm taking. I've noticed I'm getting slight black eyes and sunken eyes (just slightly) and I'm not sure if it's linked.
I know that psychologically you could feel better from self-confidence etc but would you say you could put it down to less stress on your liver from so many meds as well? :S

[brianna111976]

nice.

[Northern Jane]

....  I am able to embrace my completed, whole self like I never could before. I know I've always been female and I don't have to prove that to anyone. My history is history and it's nothing to be ashamed of; in hindsight I only see that poor little lost girl, and she has finally made her way home.....

That was one thing that struck me like a lightning bolt a few years after SRS. BEING a girl, me, was SOOOOO easy and totally natural that I realized I had always been a girl, no matter how confused or doubtful I had been at times. When  I realized that, my whole childhood took on a different perspective . It was SO obvious that I was just a pretty normal young girl trying to deal with a most untenable situation. That realization changed my life more than anything (except maybe SRS itself).

[juliemac]

I noticed the quiet. Like a buzz or a haunting presence that was there for years, now gone.
Weird but nice.

I am more confident in myself, much happier.

[K8]

As others have said, I am more confident as a woman.  I'm less concerned about my looks than before.  I'm still very small-breasted - like my sister - and have recently moved from a bra with lots of padding to one that fits better.

I am more confident as a person, too.  I think some of it is from finally being myself and some of it is the confidence gained from doing the hard work of transitioning.

And as already mentioned, I am now more certain that I have always been a woman, even with my male body and upbringing and work history.  (And I'm more certain that there is a difference between men and women.)  But I am also less concerned about acting like a woman.  I am just free to be me - whatever that is.

I really like myself now.  Sure, I'm not perfect and I have a lot of annoying traits, but I really like the person I've become.

- Kate

[Muffin]

Has anyone noticed an increase in energy and vitality? I ask because I've heard that AAs effect ones energy and I was wondering if post-op/post-recovery if you feel more get-up-and-go!

[K8]

Has anyone noticed an increase in energy and vitality? I ask because I've heard that AAs effect ones energy and I was wondering if post-op/post-recovery if you feel more get-up-and-go!

I dunno.   I am much livelier - more animated - but at 6 months post-op I still tire more easily than I remember pre-op.  I'm trying to get my fitness level back but it's been slow.

- Kate