Do they make a STP for pissing contests?

[Jaxen]

Seriously, ever since I came out about half of my male friends seem like they want to "test" my masculinity. Most of my friends are guys (maybe one or two female friends) and it just sucks that I feel like I'm losing half my brothers because I came out. The other side of it is that alot of the women at work are trying to be my new best friend (they were nothing more than polite before) now that I'm out at work. I guess they may just be curious or they want a "gay friend" or whatever but I seriously don't have anything in common with them and I feel like I'm getting smothered. I don't want to be rude but I also don't give a crap about which celebrity is dating who or the latest workplace gossip.

Anyone else dealing with this?

[rejennyrated]

Great now my computer screen is covered in coffee! 

I know you are being serious and I know its a genuinely difficult issue for you but your turn of phrase just conjured up the most bizzarre image of this thread sorry 

Testing masculinity is good! Win or lose it means you are accepted as being "in" the club. It the human equivalent of rutting. Don't think you always have to win the contests to be friends. It's just an attempt to establish your position within the hierarchy, and indeed you won't be the only one if you don't win.

Sadly I can't give you much help over such contests because for some reason, even for the few years in my late teens when I detransitioned became "male" before retransitioning I could never even get included in such contests. Men just ignored me. Women treated me as a rival... So I have to confess that even when I notionally was one I never really had the experience of masculinity you have got. I think my body probably didn't metabolise the T properly.

The girls can probably smell your pheremones. It makes you attractive.

I guess what I am saying is welcome to the wonderful world of a real man, something I clearly never was...

[Leek]

If it's not your thing, ignore the ball-scratching frat boy behavior of your peers. Depending on how old you are, they should have grown out of it by now. Just because you're male doesn't mean you have to prove yourself to others or concern yourself with any sort of hierarchy. If you're not cool with their "testing" you all of a sudden, make it clear.

As for the girls--haha, it happens. Like rejennyrated said above me, maybe it's the pheromones. More than that, it might be that you're exhibiting more confidence and it might also be that you seem happier and girls find that attractive. It also probably has a lot to do with curiosity--you're something of a mystery to them if they catch wind of your transness. You might find more and more that biogirls make you roll your eyes because of this.

Yeah, it's no fun being the token ->-bleeped-<-, but just consider it as your being welcomed.

[Jaxen]

Testing masculinity is good! Win or lose it means you are accepted as being "in" the club. It the human equivalent of rutting. Don't think you always have to win the contests to be friends. It's just an attempt to establish your position within the hierarchy, and indeed you won't be the only one if you don't win.


The girls can probably smell your pheremones. It makes you attractive.

It's not the same "ball scratching" (heh) they have always done before. It's sort of more malicious. And it's not all of the guys, just some of em. Even the ones who are exactly the most masculine you've ever met. I'm thinking it's time to open a dialogue and let em know they either accept me or not. Still a bummer though. And we are all definitely old enough to be past this. Some of my guy friends are even up in their 50s and 60s.

As for the girls... I'm not on T yet so it can't be pheromones. Probably like Leek says, it's curiosity. Also, I think some chicks just like hanging out with gay dudes.

Yeah, it's no fun being the token ->-bleeped-<-, but just consider it as your being welcomed.

Haha! Token ->-bleeped-<-... I think I need a t-shirt that says this.