HELP! I have reservations with changing my name!

[GQPAT]

Hey all,

So yeah....this is a VERY important topic that I will be discussing with my therapist in my first session because it's the one that's been on my mind the most lately...whether or not to choose a new name!  I was named Patrick at birth but have been going by Pat for years now...and while it feels comfortable and natural to me 90% of the time, there is the odd occasion where I introduce myself and I say "My name is Pat" and the person responds with "Oh...short for Patrick?"  to which I normally reply back "Nope...just Pat"  But nonetheless the masculineness of that FULL name makes me feel so weird!  I have been slowly asking my friends to refer to me by female pronouns but the name thing is bogging me down!  I'm sure I wouldn't be as confused if I didn't have an androgynous name...you know?  anyway....some thoughts on this would be appreciated!

Cheers: Pat

P.S. If I DO decide to choose a new name it's going to be Kate (short for Kathleen)

[Kate]

P.S. If I DO decide to choose a new name it's going to be Kate (short for Kathleen)

An excellent choice.

Your taste is truly impeccible

[Melissa]

P.S. If I DO decide to choose a new name it's going to be Kate (short for Kathleen)

An excellent choice.

You taste is truly impeccible

ROFL!!!!

Melissa

[cindianna_jones]

Kate is a beautiful name.  I love it as a short for Cathryn which is one of the prettiest names in the world...  and Kate... I sure would like to party with you some time.  You are too funny.

When I chose my real name (It is not Cindianna Jones by the way), I picked something that I thought was very pretty.  It had nothing to do with my male name.  It was something that I wanted.

So, go girl. Use the name you want for yourself.

Cindi

[Nero]

If you want to keep the diminutive Pat, maybe go from Patrick to Patricia?

[SusanKay140]

Hi GQPAT,

Welcome to Susan's.  Pat is a nice name if it works for you (so is Patrica as well). 

there is the odd occasion where I introduce myself and I say "My name is Pat" and the person responds with "Oh...short for Patrick?"  to which I normally reply back "Nope...just Pat"

How about answering, "No, short for Patty."

An excellent choice.

Your taste is truly impeccible

This is self-serving, but true
Susan's not bad either, but a bit overused.

Susan Kay

[ssindysmith]

Actually having an androgynous name as Pat is very useful. i.e. at the DMV you can walk in and tell the clerk you just had a horrible experience with the police because someone here goofed, up look it says male and Patrick it should be female and Patricia, you may or may not get away with that one but its worth a try, go when there swamped and dress very pretty Then changing the rest of your stuff would be alot easier with a DL with a female indicator and name. lots of luck

[GQPAT]

Haha....that is such a good point!

+ at this point...the head of my department @ school said that she's willing to sign a letter for me saying that i've been going by Pat for as long as I've been going to school (re: 2&half years) so as to LEGALLY change my name to Pat!

I think I'm gonna end up keeping it...but we'll see...like I said I'm sure the therapist will help with that!

Cheers: Pat

[Melissa]

Fo rme, going in and pleading that it was wrong wouldn't work in the state I live in.  They set up their system to only make the change at the central office in the state's capitol.  Washington has since stopped doing gender marker changes unless you have has some kind of surgery (FFS, Orchi, or SRS) and I was fortunate enough to be one of the very last people (I'm talking within days here) to get it changed before they changed their policy.

Anyway, just some thoughts before running into the DMV/DOL.

Melissa

[SusanK]

Why not keep your name and say, "Gee, they (folks) wanted a boy and wouldn't agree to Patricia, so Patrick won the day." After all, what about the model/actress James King who virtually says the same thing when people ask her the same question, "Why James?", which she says, "My parents liked the name no matter the sex."

One advantage to keeping the name, which I'm thinking about too. You don't have to go through the legal hoops changing it. I don't know why therapist, transpeople, and even friends insist you change your name to be obvious. This way all your stuff works through your transistion except for the sex/gender part, and you can change the DMV part with a letter. And you don't need the legal judgement for the name. Then you only need the same for your birth certificate, SSN, credit, Passport, employement, etc. after you finish your transistion.

Just a thought.