Video -- My opinion on male stereotypes&It Gets Better - 5 mo on T

[zombiesarepeaceful]

[Squirrel698]

You sound, talk and look so much like my brother it's freaking me out a little bit.  Putting aside that he's a homophobic ->-bleeped-<- of course.

Any rate I wanted to say that people believe what they are presented.  I act really really gay, talking with my hands, walking with a swish in my hips and wearing tight clothing as much as I can.  People accept me as male without any hesitation.  Sometimes they ask for my name aka ask for my gender and once I say Paul that's it male forever it their minds.   Basically I am just myself since I know that I am male I project that confidence and others pick up on it.  Simple as that really. 

I'm glad you calmed down a bit about passing because I've never seen anyone as extreme with a binding as you were.  I think you have moved beyond that now and good for you.  It's not a flat chest that makes you pass.  It's knowing who you are and showing that to the world without reservation.

Young kids have a hard time seeing outside of their current circumstances.  Their world is made up of what they see and if all they see is hate then they will believe that is all that exists.  That's way this youtube video project is so important.

You are doing great.  Your voice is completely male.  Since you and I started T at the same time I feel a kinship with you even though our personalities and life circumstances couldn't be more different.           

[lilacwoman]

so male!  nice video.

[James42]

I've noticed the stereotype thrown on guys a lot more since coming to reality with myself. I'm actually going through a rough patch with my gf/complicated relationship, and it got to the point where I actually cried last night, we were on the phone and she asked me if I was crying, because guys don't cry over this stuff. So I asked her why and she didn't have an answer. In general I'm not the type that cries, but I did yeserday and...so what? Why do people find it so demasculinizing?

[lilacwoman]

absolutely!  guys just do not cry! but it is getting more common now especially on television confession shows.

[Aegir]

I've noticed the stereotype thrown on guys a lot more since coming to reality with myself. I'm actually going through a rough patch with my gf/complicated relationship, and it got to the point where I actually cried last night, we were on the phone and she asked me if I was crying, because guys don't cry over this stuff. So I asked her why and she didn't have an answer. In general I'm not the type that cries, but I did yeserday and...so what? Why do people find it so demasculinizing?

Americans overdo the whole "manly man" thing and have been overdoing it more as time moves forward since the turn of the century. At some point people agreed that women were "emotional" and men were "stoic" and it's just been exaggerated more and more since then, to the point where the modern American male isn't really allowed to show nonsexual affection. Some subcultures are fighting it- look for the ones people call "->-bleeped-<-s" (goth, emo, hippies).

It's just institutionalized bigotry; men do "feminine" things and women do "masculine things" all the time, a lot of people just pretend it doesn't happen because they were raised being told they don't. It's a cultural problem.

[Samson99]

Thank you. This was so helpful and comforting. Whether I ever go on T or not, I know I will generally be a flamboyant man, and the stereotypes really are suffocating. It's awesome that you pointed it out. Again, thank you so much.

[Theo]

Tired or not, you made sense to us. "Us" is me and my natal male SO. He said almost immediately that loads of guys look and sound like you.  He's a guy who didn't buy into the whole male stereotype either so you have his respect.  Mine too.

[jmaxley]

Another flamboyant guy here.  It's been one of my concerns about transitioning, even now I feel really uncomfortable expressing my more femme side.  Women do have much more freedom at emotional and gender expression than men do.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Thanks. I'm glad I could be of help to some people who are scared to project their flamboyant self...lol...I'm actually surprised that no one at my work has questioned my gender, and I just got a new job where I'm going to be completely stealth. Since no one really guesses by my attitude that I'm gay..I'm not sure how it's gonna go over once they find out, but we'll see. I'm still pretty anal about my chest being flat..but that's just me. That's how I am. Luckily, t and it being winter so binders not wearign out so fast from teh heat has helped with that.

[insideontheoutside]

Great video.

I think it's a cultural thing too. I'm seen so many different aspects of this in places that I've lived. In Los Angeles, pretty much anything goes. In Oregon, Portland seems to be pretty open. Rural areas there's a lot of "manly men" who like hunting and nascar. Although butch lesbians seem to be widely accepted, femme boys do not. Really kind of weird how there's all these little pockets of "acceptance" or not.

I hope I live to see a day when people don't judge based off appearances or mannerisms but actually get to know people before they decide they like them or not or whether they want to interact with them or not.

[Samson99]

My sister actually moved to Oregon to become more acquainted with a place that is actually accepting. Where I live now (and where she used to live) everyone knows everyone elses business. Not everyone is intolerant, but I get five cross looks on average each day. She keeps trying to get me to move down there with her, but I don't think that the answer is to run. It's to stick around and make the "different" people more prevalent and such.

Sorry for the tangent, but yeah, I've heard that Oregon is really open and accepting over all.

[Wolf Man]

I find myself battered by two cultures to form to these masculine stereotypes. I take more to the Hispanic sense of Machismo, the American masculinity is more of an enforcer than a cause.

I feel that it is emasculating to cry. I hate doing it. I am very... closed according to my father, that's another story. I am a regular person away from family, but with them I keep it down to what is necessary.

I guess I can attribute that to a greater sense of being comfortable, but I'm attributing it to this. I do not cry, I lack emotion, I hold it in and take care of it. I am a man, I am in charge, I can handle it. I need to have control, whether or not it is possible. That is the burden I must carry.

I'm not the American douche or even a classic gentleman. I am polite to women as need be, I am a power to be reckoned with and I am stoic. They really are just personal values that I hold to. I find nothing bad about them, maybe stressful and unhealthy in that way, but good values nonetheless.