Missed Childhood?

[Aurelia]

I was wondering if I'm the only one who feels this way.
I feel that being forced to act like a boy made me effectively lose my childhood. I missed out on being able to be a little girl.
I don't want to be a woman, I want to have my chance to be a girl.
Am I alone in this, or not?

[LynnER]

Childhood?  Whats that?  LoL

I totaly missed out on my childhood period, When I was little I had to do chores and work around the property every day or help my grandmother out with my aunt.....  when I was 12 I was forced to work with my father.... and yeah....  as a teen I had to work, go to school, take care of my Grandmother and aunt and yeah again...

I was never alloted a childhood persay... and my parrents apparently knew about my tendencies from a very young age and did there best to supress that in me so.......

Im kinda sorta trying to have a second chance at childhood now  Youve got to love it LoL.

[Melissa]

Me?  I never grew up, so I'm still experiencing my childhood now.

Melissa

[Sheila]

Lynn,
   I feel the same, I missed childhood completely, boy or girl. My dad left us when I was 7-8 and I was the oldest. If I wanted anything I had to work for it. I mowed lawns and had a paper route until I was 15 then did side jobs like painting houses until I was 17. I started working in the meat shop and 35 years later retired. I had a brother and sister I took care of. No time for school, just barely passed High School. No money for college. So, yes I do really miss childhood. I don't know how to play. Truely. I never learned.
Sheila

[Dee]

Im glad Im not the only one whose still experiencing a childhood in adult life   I do know what you mean though, Aurelia.  I remember all the "learning" I had to do when I was a little boy.  I was always being taught, "take you hand off your hip!" and, "those are for girls to play with... not little boys," and so forth and so on.  I always wanted to hang out with the girls instead of the boys, but as a child I begrudgingly followed the path of least resistance, and did as I was told, answered to peer pressure, etc.

All those times out on the playground when I was playing baseball and football, I would look over where the girls were making necklaces out of clover flowers... oh god that looked like so much fun   So I made one when I was older, but it was just too much a bittersweet feeling and I started crying lol.

I think its important to not focus on any feelings along the lines of feeling cheated out of life... just live in the now.  You cant be a child again, but you can be one at heart.  Maybe this is the male in me talking, but I think one must not resist what is.  There is a woman in me, and even though I didnt live my childhood through her, there is a little girl in me too.

[Sarah Louise]

Childhood?  I don't think I want to go there.

I made sure my kids had a chance to have their childhood, I didn't want them to face the same problems as I did.

Sarah L.

[Kate]

I was wondering if I'm the only one who feels this way.
I feel that being forced to act like a boy made me effectively lose my childhood. I missed out on being able to be a little girl.
I don't want to be a woman, I want to have my chance to be a girl.
Am I alone in this, or not?

You betcha.

From another thread:

I was just so darn focused on wanting that LIFE. To have been BORN that way, to grow up that way, to be accepted and treated as a girl. The clothing and games and "feminine things..." sure, they were appealing, but not quite the point. I didn't really notice them, I was too busy thinking about the girl-ness behind it all. I never looked at a girl and thought, "Wow, I wonder what I'd look like wearing that skirt?" I'd look at her and think, "That should have been MY life." Yes, that *included* wearing and doing feminine things, but it was the overall life experience that I so, so deperately wanted. I wanted to BE cute and adorable, but not necessarily want to ACT cute and adorable. I wanted to feel sexy and alluring, but I didn't specifically crave to wear sexy clothes. I so desperately needed to be seen and perceived as a girl, but NOT because of what I wore or did, but because of who I AM, inside, somewhere, somehow in some annoyingly impossible, screwed-up, impossible way.

Even now, I'm not so sure transitioning is really going to do much for me. It's kind of too late, I missed my life already. I'm trying, I really am, but... what I really need is a Do Over, and that's just not happening. My soul may be female, my body increasingly female, but my life... my experiences... will they ever be? THAT's what I've needed since I was born, but... I just don't know. I can't erase the fact that I was born male, raised as a male, and expected to BE a male.

And I just don't know if I can ever erase those expectations from the eyes of everyone around me.

[SusanKay140]

Aurelia,

Am I alone in this, or not?

As you can tell, no, you are not alone.

Susan Kay

[Willow]

I was just thinking this. Although I didn't always know exactly what was "going on" with me, I knew from early childhood that something was different. It took me a few years to figure out that I really should have been a girl. I'm trying to have a childhood now, but I definately feel almost robbed. I feel like I'm not going to have a childhood or feel complete until I can at least go full-time (which may still be a bit).

[ssindysmith]

I another post the question was asked about "would like to have been born the sex you identify with?" I answered a very resounding YES for this very reason, I would have preferred to be raised female just because of all the childhood things I missed, my first real dress, wearing moms shoes clothes and makeup and thinking it was cute, girl talk, being kissed by a boy the first time, and yes even my first period would have been preferred over my childhood. In a way I wish transition would include those memories some how (another story line) but alas no such luck. hohumm  if only............ 

[GypsyKaren]

That's one thing that has always saddened me, I missed out on being a little girl and was forced to do boy stuff. All I wanted to do was play dolls and hopscotch with other girls, instead it was baseball and the rest. All the girls wore pigtails and their roller skate key around their necks, oh how I wanted that too. I have made up for a little of the time that was lost and taken from me, for I have discovered the joy of Hello Kitty, so I'm building up my collection because it always makes me smile and think of the little girl that should have been.

Karen