First puberty worse for MTFs than for FTMs?

[Fencesitter]

I know the subject is kind of difficult to deal with, and at the same time silly, as it's difficult to get into another person's mind.

However, methinks that the first puberty is experienced as more horrific for MTFs than FTMs. From the physical point of view.

By this, I mean:

we FTMs experience
a) nasty ->-bleeped-<- growing on our chests
b) bleeding for no good reasons, which also means you can get impregnated
c) body shape becoming somewhat more female
d) otherwise, the body just does not grow up. It remains the body of a child boy, undeveloped. We're adult, and our bodies are disfigured but otherwise just remain childish. Which is horrific on it's own, but at least not too much gets ruined there.

Which in itself may be reason enough for suicide for many of us. But I think for MTFs, puberty may be much more traumatic, as the body moves farer away from a female or at least neutral shape. I don't wanna sum the points up here, as I'm no MTF, but what do you think of that theory?

[Nero]

I'm not sure this kind of debate is constructive or relevant. But as to the question, I don't agree. For a lot of (if not most) ftms, we too move away from attainment of a regular male shape. A lot of guys are stuck at a height and/or build far beneath the average male. Some will forever have large hips sticking out. I'm not even going to go there with regard to the trauma of developing female sex characteristics and functions.

I think both experiences are probably equally traumatic for the child involved. But since none of us here have gone through both first puberties in the wrong sex, can anyone really know?

[cynthialee]

I would never sugest to my spouse that my natal puberty was harder than hirs. Nor would I accept such a statement in the other direction.
I think this type of rhetorical question while possibley fun it can only serve to cause issues in our house.

[Elijah3291]

I think that most FTM's will think FTM is harder, and MTF's will think MTF is harder.

I can see the difficulty for both sides.  its horrible for both.

[spacial]

Have to agree with Nero here. I didn't respond when you first posted this, simply becasue I wasn't sure what you were asking.

But the issue is, dysphoria. Not the shape of someone else's body.

If body swaps were possible, the issue would disappear.

[Northern Jane]

For myself, a partial male puberty was horribly traumatic because I was still sure I was a girl and that everything would be okay with puberty. When that didn't happen, I really started to flip out. On the other hand, it was good in that it started me fighting back, with doctors, my parents, and even fighting against what puberty was doing to me. I stopped hoping for "later" and started to make my future happen.

I just can't imagine how traumatic a first menstruation would have been in the opposite case!

[Dymara]

Yeah, I think everyone loses when we enter the Dysphoria Olympics.
[Though since we're here, I've gotta agree with Northern Jane - I don't think my dysphoric boners could nearly compare to dysphoric menstruation!]

[Fencesitter]

Thanks for your feedback.

I did not want to start a non-constructive thread or a dysphoria olympics, I was just wondering and wanted to see if other people saw it like me.

Thought MTFs would think getting your period is like-- no problem, as most people do. But you seem to get it.

So I'm sorry if this thread is not constructive.

[Nero]

Well, I think most would agree that MTFs have some extra challenges in transition than we do - the need to take additional hormones and medications, hair removal, face surgeries, voice difficulties, etc. Certainly, it does seem the ladies must endure more in transition generally.

But that's not the same as calling one puberty worse than another.

[Janet_Girl]

When one is dysphoric about ones own gender identity, or even questioning such identity, puberty is especially traumatic.  Regardless of which puberty one goes through  it is totally the wrong one.  The things our body is going through is not right.  And it becomes worse when we find out what others are going through.  Talking to our cis friends during puberty we find out quickly what we should doing, and it is not what we are doing.

[A]

I think that most FTM's will think FTM is harder, and MTF's will think MTF is harder.

I can see the difficulty for both sides.  its horrible for both.

I quote this for total approval.

I'll give my opinion TRYING to remain neutral, but at this point it's hard for me not to think of FTMs as luckier than I.

I THINK it may be easier for FTMs, because :

-Not having lost hair does not compromise their status
-Hormones do make their voice change (or I'm pretty sure it does)
-I've been told their shoulders and other skeletal features CAN widen, while ours cannot shrink
-It's only a personal opinion, but I personally think small, feminine-bodied guys pass much better than big, masculine-bodied girls. In the worse they'll look younger than they are, which generally doesn' hurt.
-Non-hairy guys are okay, even (in my opinion) more beautiful than hairy guys. However hairy girls just don't do.

But the fact that phalloplasty is not regarded as giving results as good as vaginoplasty should also weigh in the balance.

But then again, this is the opinion of a MTF who's trying hard to free herself of the idea masculinity as a whole is pure evil, so even when making efforts, it's probably highly biaised.

[AweSAM!]

There's no way in hell that I'd go out and say that for an MtF would be more difficult than that of an FtM, or vice versa. It's traumatic as hell for all of us (whether the trauma shows during puberty or later in life is a different story).

[Zrfm]

I have an MTF friend who's the same age as me and we're pretty much right in the middle of puberty no. 1. I suppose FTMs have more to hide and MTFs more to elude. I think that's the word <.<.

[jacob.ayden.averi]

I agree with a lot of what's been said. Everybody is going to think their puberty was worse. Personally, I want to just curl up and die that time of the month, not only because it's so physically painful, but also because it's like a slap in the face. Thankfully though, I haven't had any for a month or two which is odd and I probably should be worried because I'm not taking any hormones yet. But anyhoo. I'm glad at least, that it's only once a month. Unlike a girl who could get a random boner. And my chest lost seven inches so now it's pretty easy to bind...as easy as binding can be. But a girl could easily(?) stuff a bra. So there are difficulties on each side. Of course, if we could just switch bodies, I'm sure everyone would be much happier. They should invent that someday.

[Fencesitter]

Okay, thanks for your feed-back.

About first period being horrible:
Well, I did not take my first period seriously in terms of being trans, as it was horrible in itself. My mother was all excited about me slowly becoming an adult woman (no comment, I just felt ashamed as hell... I'm a guy!), gave me a tampon, tought me how to apply this ->-bleeped-<-, gave me a sanitary napkin as well to be secured during the first period over the first night just in case... as normally, the first period is weak. Well next morning I woke up, tampon was soaked, napkin was soaked (it was a napkin of the kind which take up a lot of blood, don't know how they're called). It had even bled through my pyjama and gotten on my sheets, even into my mattress, and I felt miserable and destroyed and betrayed by my body. I never ever had such a strong period again, it was really like someone had killed a pig in my bed with a knife. Wow, that was a horrible experience, really. But I often thought, it would have been traumatic for girls as well, as there was just way too much of that blood for just eight hours of bleeding.

And it becomes worse when we find out what others are going through.  Talking to our cis friends during puberty we find out quickly what we should doing, and it is not what we are doing.

Yeah, they're kind of happy of what happens to them altogether, it means they're growing up. To me, it just meant my body did not grow up, but weird things happened instead and otherwise, my body remained that of a child. Very weird, wrong things happened. I just could not discuss these topics with them, I thought all other girls were like me, feeling they're males, but forced themselves to conform and become excited about breasts growing and getting their period. And I thought that was why they said these changes exciting. I did not get it then, thought they fooled themselves or tried as hard as they could to fit a scheme they didn't like. Really, cis people exist. I did not know that then, and thought they all forced themselves into expectations and I despised them for that presumed insincerity.

[A]

Of course, if we could just switch bodies, I'm sure everyone would be much happier. They should invent that someday.

We would save so much money, time and tears... All one group hates, the other group dreams of it. Actually, related to that, I think transsexualism (and perharps other ->-bleeped-<-s) should be searched for and diagnosed in young teenagers. We would all been off happier if we had started HRT at 13...

[Nero]

I would have preferred starting around 10 but, oh well.

Yep. I would've had to start around 10 to save me. I was just a tad earlier than average.

[cynthialee]

11 here
13 would have been to late for T poisoning.

[A]

Well, what would truly be ideal would be if they found out transsexualism is 100% genetic and they could diagnose it with a simple and mandatory DNA sample at or before birth, and apply treatment immdiately.

But in realistic terms, I don't think we can safely go below 13, as at 13 almost everyone (am I wrong ?) has begun puberty. And sadly, for some of us, assumptions made before puberty are biaised. For example, I think many non-transsexual boys (maybe transgender to some degree, or just a "girly boy" without ->-bleeped-<-) might have accepted if offered sex change at 10.

Actually, a more realistic number would be 14 - at that age, we have medical emancipation (in Québec we do at least) and we can legally decide by ourselves of our health. What's funny though is that here, at that age, one can decide whether or not to undergo ANY medical treatment... Except gender change, including hormones and orchiectomy (unless it is "medically needed"), which can't ever be started before 18. Greaaat law.

[TheAetherealMeadow]

Frankly I think one can't say objectively which one is worse because it all depends on how an individual copes with it. For some people it is traumatizing but for others it is an annoyance that compromises their ability to present as the gender they are.