Hi there all!
I just joined this forum. Don't really know how all this works so please let me know if I'm doing it wrong.
I am a 24 year old trans girl from South Africa. Throughout my childhood, I never really felt quite RIGHT in my role as a guy. Then, when puberty hit, I struggled for years with being who I was meant to be. Discovering that I was really a girl inside was very difficult and scary at first but ultimately helped me to feel less hopeless and confused.
After aLOT of soul-searching & research, I decided to begin the process of transition (saw a therapist, got HRT referral letter, etc.) but while my parents were supportive initially, when the idea started becoming a reality it became really uncomfortable for them, partly because of their own issues. And of course I do not blame them; it took me years to become comfortable with the idea that this is what I need to do to be myself. While they do now accept that i want to reveal my inner female, i think doing it under their roof would have been too stressful for any of us.
Long story short, I decided off transition for a while longer until I was confident and independent enough to deal with it more on my own. My parents are supportive, but I'm not gonna involve them directly too much for the sake of all of our sanity. And now, several years later, I'm more confident and independent, and I feel like I really can't wait anymore to begin finally living my real life.
I'm considering starting HRT & hair removal so long (been working on voice since last year), and then in a few months when its almost too obvious to hide it anymore, move somewhere else to establish myself as a female (with a clean slate, so to speak). One place that has crossed my mind several times is Amsterdam. There's the great music scene (I'm a musician myself), and beautiful surroundings. Also, I have heard from many people that they are much more tolerant of individuals (quite a change from South Africa). People are valued for their uniqueness rather than ostracized for it. Seems like just the right kinda place for me to come find myself. Does anyone have any advice for me on looking into moving over there in the near future? I'm particularly kean to get in touch with young trans girls like me living on that side, for an experienced perspective of living there as a MtF.
Also, I was wondering if anyone knows what the situation is with 'gender research' in the scientific community. I heard a few years ago of a promising study (done in the Netherlands, of course). The human male has about twice as many neurons within the BSTc of their brain than females do. The study proved that trans girls had the 'female amount' every time. This was regardless of whether they had been on hormones, had SRS or anything like that. Hearing about this also played a big part in my decision to 'free myself.' Does anyone know if they came any further with these studies? Also, is there any kind of gender research going on that I might be able to take part in? For example, Id really like to have my brain scanned and confirm my own neuron number. Aside from providing me with comforting proof that I'm not just imagining all this, it would be something I can show to people to help them understand that this problem is real, and that transition really is the only logical & humane solution. I know the original brain scans were performed on dead people, but perhaps by now they've figured out a way to do the test without cutting open your brain?
I'd really appreciate any advice anyone can offer. Thanks for listening!
