Sometimes It's the Little Things

[K8]

We work so hard on the big things, as we should, but sometimes it is the little things – those insignificant discoveries – that are so pleasing.

I was raised in a house where we seldom entertained.  All my life I have been uncomfortable at the thought of others coming into my house because I didn't know how to make them comfortable.  Last night I had a small group of people over.  I made sure that my house was ready for them, saw that they had food and drink as they wanted, and then relaxed into the various conversations.  When they left, several thanked me for being such a good hostess.  And I was.  I had to transition in order to be comfortable with making others comfortable.

I love that people refer to me as "she" or "ma'am".  I love that I can wear what I like.  I love that I can talk to women with no sexual barriers.  I love that I am comfortable with my body.  But sometimes it is the little things that point out how out-of-sync we were.

- Kate

[Arch]

In thirteen years, I was so uncomfortable that I never invited anyone over to my house until I was moving out and had no choice but to invite some people over to help me with my stuff.

Now I've had several people over to my new place. All have been trans or known trans allies, but it's a start.

[spacial]

  I had to transition in order to be comfortable with making others comfortable.

- Kate

That's a really good point Kate.

[sneakersjay]

Maybe that explains why I always hated entertaining.  When I was living as F it was expected and assumed that the woman of the house would do the cooking and making sure the guests were comfortable...and I was clueless. Didn't help that I grew up in a very casual, informal family, where we were treated like family at each other's homes (ie help yourself to the fridge, clean up after yourself, etc).

Maybe I'll have to try entertaining again some day.


Jay

[spacial]

I know it's the problem I have with any socialising.

[Lacey Lynne]

I know it's the problem I have with any socialising.

@ K8:

Kate, how true this is.  As I'm now on the very brink of going fulltime, it's paradigm-shift city for me.  Just like you said, now I feel free to be myself, to socialize, to quit being angry at my circumstances and the world.  Ain't it amazing?  You're so right.  Some of us have to transition to finally "get it right."  Just my 2-cents' worth.   

@ Spacial:

We actually have much in common, Spacial.  To a very great extent, I'm a loner too.  Know what?  It's a drag being a loner ... a real drag.  For years, heck decades even, I feel like I've just watched the whole world pass me by ... missed friendships ... missed loves ... missed everything.  Sigh.  It's been a bummer.

Transition is changing that.  HRT really is making me a total adolescent all over again ... this time a female adolescent.  Wahoo!  I'm so carrying on in age-inappropriate ways!  Gotta watch that.  Hope it works out well for you too ... I really do. 

Lacey   

Spacial's Halloween Babe is SO cute and SO hot!  I wanna be herrr!