so...not sure if this is the right place to post this....

[Sarah_aus]

So where do I start, I came out to my partner a few weeks ago, and she's doing a pretty good job of adjusting to the whole idea, I've tried to give her as much information as I could on the whole subject and well, thats getting off topic....
We had a long and intese conversation about transition the other day, and I told her what I need, what she could expect, and she took it pretty well.... in fact she gave me her blessing, of sorts, to start living part-time, as a woman, at home... the only thing she asked is that I communicate with her, and let her know for now, if she is going to be coming home to a man or a woman, we agreed that I would send her a text message letting her know that "Sarah is here".
She says she isn't comfortable calling me sarah or using female pronouns, but, thinks she might be ok in time....
I'm really not sure if I'm asking what now, or just writing it down or whatever....
I guess if you have been through this and you can offer any advice, wisdom, anything

Hugs,

Sarah

[Jillieann Rose]

Sarah,
It good that your partner is accepting you many don't.
Please just go slow with her. It will take time for your partner to see you as a women.
I wish you the best.
Jillieann

[Fencesitter]

Good news,

I'm happy for you. You have a nice partner

Agree to Jillieann.

[marleen]

Hello Sarah,
It looks like she is responding in a very positive way; just give her some time to adjust and see what the future brings.
Good luck to the both of you!

[lilacwoman]

just take it nice and slow and don't force Sarah on her too much at first. 
no way of knowing what the situation will be like 12 months from now.

[Sarah_aus]

thanks for your advice everyone, thanks for the advice, I'm doing what I can to take things slow...not an easy task I have to say, but I'm trying

Hugs everyone,

Love

Sarah

I wanted to add, that since the first post my partner has been clothes shopping with me (for her), and asked me to help her with her make up, and has asked my opinion on a couple of outfits, so I think she is really trying...

Hugs

[Janet_Girl]

at least she is trying.  And by texting her, she can be informed on how to act, or whether to bring that co-worker home for a meeting/dinner/visit.

I am always happy when I hear that another SO is trying to understand.  Mine never did.

[Jillieann Rose]

Nor does mine.

[Sarah_aus]

Thanks for the responses ladies, I thought I'd give an update so far....
The last couple of days have been a little rocky, I think my partner is struggling, so i've kind of retreated back in the closet when she is around, I have an appointment with my therapist on saturday, I'm kind of lost at the moment, some days she seems to try really hard and I feel great, things go great, and I think, yes, I can do this.... other days, I just want to crawl under a rock and die... I guess this is more or less to be expected, sometimes I forget i'm not the only one transitioning in this relationship....
Thanks for the space to vent and the shoulders to cry on...

Hugs,

Sarah

[Jillieann Rose]

some days she seems to try really hard and I feel great, things go great, and I think, yes, I can do this.... other days, I just want to crawl under a rock and die...

When I came out to my spouse it was that way at first and then she went totally negative.
I know that I push to hard too fast and that she became very jealous of Jillieann taken over her spouses body.
So rocky days will happen. 
Just keep showing her how much you love her.
Hugs
Jillieann

[kisschittybangbang]

Sarah, don't be worried. You have to realize that when your partner found out that you were transitioning, she had to deal with the idea of you essentially DYING. It's a horrid realization and she loves you so she wants to do her best to be understanding and to try and help you through it all, but she's pretty much been devastated.

Now just because I say pretty "devastating words" doesn't mean that she's appalled. More, it was a big shock to her. There will be ups and downs and sometimes she's going to be completely unable to cope. I think it's awesome that you text her when you're more your true self, however I think the whole "Sarah is here" thing may in time make her angry. (And at some point she's going to get angry. Grieving past you and such.)

I want you both to work out! You HAVE to keep communication open and realize that she may keep some things inside in order to spare your feelings. Try and be as aware of her as she is of you.

As for it being rocky... it's a change. A very big change. Be patient and try your best to help her through it as she helps you through everything.

Much love!
K

[spacial]

Sarah.

The one thing that occurs is that your partner may find some of the instability a bit unnerving, esepcially as she comes home from work, natrually a bit keyed up anyway.

Can I suggest that, for a while, perhaps a few weeks/months you keep being Sarah till friday evenings and weekends?

I'm just thinking that it might be a bit asier for her to come to terms with things this way.

Eventually, you can expand this to other days.

[Sarah_aus]

@Jillieann: I think that at times I do push to much to fast, I try to catch myself on that, but its a hard concept to master, happiness is like a drug, and as Sarah I feel a happiness that I haven't felt before

@kisschittybangbang: Some really good advice, I plan to sit down with her and talk to her tonight as things have developed at the moment she is finding coping very difficult, I am thinking of maybe putting together a schedule of sorts rather than texting her so that she knows x-night I will be Sarah, maybe, still a little unsure, I am also trying to find someone for her to talk to, even if I have to engineer that by coming out to a mutual friend...still not sure what to do there.

@Spacial:Good suggestion, Friday is actually not a bad night either as she doesn't have to work fridays, so I might give that a try, I think having a better communication with her is important too, she mentioned last night that she is trying to be strong and say the "right" things to be there for me, so I really need to sit down with her and ask that she is honest and open with me so that we can come to some kind of compromise.

Thanks everyone for your support and advice, I really appreciate it.

Hugs,

Sarah