I came out; it resulted in a trip to the pysch ward.

[Jakob]

Here is how it went:
I told my day program family therapist that I was trans and wanted to come out. At our very initial meeting. It was family group night. So I agreed to tell my mom. It was all very spur of the moment. I was just so sick of being closeted. Felt I couldn't do it any longer, asked my classroom teacher for the family counselor and planned it out.

So, later at the family meeting, I was getting to it. Studdering, shaking and all. So scared. Because my mother means so much to me. She told me to spit it out, basically. Then, right as I was going to, the doctor came in and this angered my mother. Doctor introduced herself. They said go for it. So thats what I did. But they gave her no time to process. Doctor said she had a meeting next and needed to discuss my hectic schedule. Mom and I argued about that. She walked out. Yelled and walked out..

I was a mess. I put my head down. I couldn't stop crying. I'd gotten no reassurance. Though, I knew it could of gone much worse and does for some. They said if she came back, I could talk to her and go home. But I was so scared. Just kept saying I'm afraid. They asked if I could contract safety. I was reluctant. They asked if I'd cut (ex-cutter). Said idk, maybe. They questioned more. Said I would but more of an exaggeration. I had a promise not to so never really would of. But I felt as if I wanted to at the time.

Later, I came to find out she'd come right back. But they wouldn't let her see me cause she was too emotional and so was I. They held me there. I got admitted.

Once home, we talked about it a little more. I can bind around non family. Can't cut my hair. WHICH IS DUMB. Cause she doesn't wanna have to explain "my choices" to her family. She said when I'm 18, I can and she'll still love me. But as a minor, they'd question her. Also, we tried to go to pflag. But she works a lot so idk about that.

Oh and one more thing: She told my grandma who lives with us. They talk about it and think I'm confused. It hurts. How can I get over it?

P.S.- THE PSYCH WARD WAS HELL. I blogged about it. But not here. Hell I tell you.

Thank for reading.

[Griffin]

Once things cool off you will probably edge toward cutting your hair anyway, but lots of guys rock the long hair look.    It seems especially strange that she won't let you cut your hair because lots of women (straight and gay) have short haircuts.  That strikes me as such a weird hangup.

IMO, doctor was a jerk.  That is absolutely the wrong way to arrange such a huge revelation.   

Obviously you're not supposed to ever, even slightly, exaggerate with a mental health worker.  They take that stuff very seriously.

[xAndrewx]

I'm sorry things went that way for you. They shouldn't have let things go like that though, they really should have given both of you time to talk about that. She's accepting a little which means she'll most likely give in a little more in time. I started with hair past my shoulders, then was allowed a shoulder length cut, then chin length, and finally a buzz cut but convincing my mom took time. Also involved showing her many pictures of like Alyssa Milano with short hair.

[spacial]

Jakob.

I'm so very sorry that this happened. It was, as you almost certainly know, entirely unprofessional of that Dr.

The problem is that the Dr. has her own agenda. She wants to specialise in a particular brand of medicine and if you don't fit the bill, she will either try to find a way to make you or push you away. Her busy schedual is an ego thing frankly. She was basically telling you what an amazing person she is and you should feel fortunate to have her grace you with her presence.

Now what to do.

Try to avoid this weirdo if you can. Speak to your mom and try to get her to agree that this idiot has nothing to offer you all.

You have told your mom. That's the first step. Now, build your relationship with her. Get her to understand that a large part of your personal problems are caused by your feelings.

Try to find some decent information on transgender. There's a lot on the web.

Here's some. You may want to print these out for her, if she isn't into full time surfing.

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSsuccesses.html

http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.com/index.htm

http://www.gires.org.uk/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans_man

It's a sad reality that a lot more resources and information exist for those born as male.

I also suggest you explain to her that this is a long process. That you won't rush into anything. And remind her that many people who are FtM have led very successful lives.

Good luck

[long.897]

Compromising sucks, but would she be open to a haircut if you had a good reason?  She might be okay explaining to her family that you shaved your hair for cancer for instance. 

EDIT: Of course not trying to say that you had cancer, but there are a lot of events in which people shave their heads to raise awareness for cancer research.