I have to say that this thread has also been very encouraging for me to read. Although I initially started transition in my late 20s, after about 6 months of hormones I lost my fulltime job (due to transgender related prejudice) and had sporadic financial resources after that - for a while I took hormones sporadically whenever I had any money left over after rent and food - but eventually I lost my housing situation and my part time job and had to drop them entirely.
I never de-transitioned per say and have remained full time throughout, but most of the effects of hormones have, sadly, dissipated - I still have breasts and my face has stayed rather feminine (aside from my brow ridge and chin, but that was always going to be an issue) and I still have something of a figure. Since then I have avoided trying to get hormones because I didn't want to keep jumping on and off as my finances and employment were still unreliable. I never finished college and had no real job skills and no one was willing to hire me full time, so I finally went back to school. For the first year or two of school I still didn't have the money for hormone treatment or electro (one of the sad side effects of going off hormones is that I suddenly started growing thick coarse hair all over my body and lost a lot of the hair around my temples) but now I finally do, and I am preparing to get back on hormones finally.
For the last couple of years I've been really depressed about the whole situation, convinced I'd missed my chance to ever be a passable, pretty, and youthful woman, and being full-time while chemically stuck somewhere in the middle of transition has made me feel like a perpetual ugly duckling. I gained a lot of weight through eating my feelings, but I've finally shed most of that and gotten back to being slim and trim.
I don't know what's going to happen now. Maybe the hormones will do some magic and with some hard work I can finally be passable, pretty, and youthful - while youth lasts. Or maybe I've missed the boat and hormones will just make me somewhat less unfeminine-looking than I am now. That has been my worry of late, but I persist. All things masculine and male turn my stomach and I have never once considered detransitioning. This thread has been rather encouraging for me, so thank you all for sharing your stories. Hopefully sometime in the middle of next year I will have good progress to report and can inspire someone else.
