Congrats =) It's been about a month since my {FTM} fiance told me about *his* want and need to transition, only days before our big {lesbian} engagement party. I was instantly supportive, but it did take me about a week to truly 'digest' the whole idea. I had SO many questions running through my head and felt very vulnerable, which wasn't easy for my independent, strong self. I researched everything like crazy during the first week as we struggled to Ace-bind his chest.. I also bought us both journals to record our emotions and thoughts about this entire process, which has been a great outlet for us both. Eventually, days later as we got into bed, I burst into tears, as an emotional release, and let him know I am in it for the long haul, and his gender will not change my love and devotion to him. As a full-blown, femme lesbian, I was able to recognize my undying love for my "butch" girlfriend could not be shaken by a transition.
I know this isn't the case for everybody, but I know in my case I feel stronger about my love for this person, than I do about the slight changes that are slowly being made. If this is what my fiance needs to live a full and happy life, then I will offer nothing but pure, honest support. I am more dedicated to our relationship than I am to a label, even if this label has been a part of my life longer than he has. I can proudly say that in less than a month, I now feel weird using the FEMALE words when speaking about him and I feel odd when I have to use his original female name.
I think an equal amount of support and understanding needs to beo ffered to the SO of anybody going through a transition, which can be easy to forget at times. I know I felt an instant mass of confusion, soon followed by a sense of mourning. I felt as if a piece of the person I love, a large piece, was being taken away from me. Just the feeling of the sense of possible loss can be overwhelming when you're talking about the person you are madly in love with. I was scared to death that I was losing the person I was closest to in the entire world. As the days went on I quickly discovered while many things would change, some small and some large, the foundation of what truly mattered would remain the same. While the hormone therapy has not started, this journey has very much started in our home, and I can happily say we've settled into it more and more every day.
It does take time, it does take patience, and it is scary, but all you can really do is reassure your SO that your heart and soul will remain the same--and all they can do is wait for time to prove you right.
