Both my laser tech and my electrolygist were careful to give me a woman's sideburns - removing all hair up to what is normal for a woman. My hairdresser cut the remaining hair kind of in a point, telling me that square sideburns are too male.
I think that until you can get laser or electrolysis, shave closely up to about the top of where your ear attachees to your head and let the hair above it grow out over the shaven space a bit so the edge doesn't look too abrupt. It may take a few tries to get it right (like most things do

).
- Kate