Well I've been told by various people that I ought to consider seeing a therapist about my gender issues since early 2009. I finally went. This was kind of a shot in the dark as I merely looked up gender therapists online in my area through a Google search and risked one of them.
I have to say I think I made a wise decision. Granted I've only had one session but this therapist does seem pretty good. Most of the session was just me explaining as concisely as possible my background and what has brought me there. She didn't give me much advice though other than considering more sessions and that my gender issues/concerns are real and not to be ashamed of. She stated that she follows the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care and briefed me on its details. She said she works with a number of transgender clients and knows a couple of good endocrinologists that she refers clients to.
I am quite pleased with her and will be returning for another session in about ten days. I explained that my main goal is some sort of action plan on how I can work through these gender issues. She stated that as part of the HBSOC she recommends a visit at least twice per month for several months. Since I'm out about my gender expression to everyone to one degree or another it really is coming down to simple planning.
I stated I'm not making any hasty decisions (i.e. going full time starting tomorrow). I came in presenting as the way I normally present when I go to work in the morning as an androgynous male with my long hair, 5 o'clock shadow, nail polish, feminine shoes, regular guy's shirt and jeans. The next visit I'm sure I'll present in a more female fashion (same hairstyle, some makeup to cover up 5 o'clock shadow, same shoes, padded bra, women's blouse and jeans) simply because I'm doing something else that day that I don't want to be dressed as a "boy" for. I mainly flip-flop appearances so far out of convenience and not as a form of "crossdressing." I explained to her that I used to think of myself as a crossdresser with simply a male side and female side but realized that it isn't about clothes but who I feel inside which is why I'm not making an effort to dress any particular way when I go to see her. It will simply depend on the time and day and what else is going on.
The only thing that is really annoying is the cost. She charges more than $100/hour. Doctors, lawyers, and therapists are not cheap. We'll see how it goes and I will post any updates as needed. Happy Wednesday everyone.
